Arsenio Hall Is Crowdsourcing $1 Billion To Buy The Clippers
Arsenio Hall, like everyone else, wants to buy the L.A. Clippers from Donald Sterling. Unfortunately, Hall lacks $1 billion, which is why the late-night comic started an Indiegogo campaign to raise those funds.
In the video on the Indiegogo site, Hall says he's always wanted to own a professional basketball team (and sleep with Halle Berry, but finds that goal unattainable). He thinks he'd make a good owner because Hall will "represent everybody." "You buy it," he says, "I'll run it. Let me put your money where my mouth is."
Seeing a vision you believe in come to fruition is great, but everyone knows a key part of donating to a campaign is the perks. So what exactly do you get by donating to #clipgogo (actual hashtag)?
Well, Hall will RT you on Twitter for $50! For $500, he'll mention you on his show. For $1000, you can write a joke that Hall will say on his show unless "it is so filthy or dirty that even Arsenio would be embarrassed by it." A mere $35,000, and Hall will get a Henna tramp stamp of your name, which he will present on his show. And for $100,000, you get to be Hall's sidekick for one entire episode of The Arsenio Hall Show.
Hall has a long way to go, with only $1242 raised and only 36 days left, but he's not fazed. He plans to donate whatever money does get raised to the NAACP. (NAACP's last president, Leon Jenkins, resigned earlier this month after some shady past interactions with Sterling surfaced.)
Meanwhile, both Sterling and his estranged wife Shelly plan to fight to keep the team, even though Sterling has been banned from the NBA for life. And given that the Sterlings love to sue people and duke it out in court, we might be waiting a while before Arsenio Hall or anyone else can call themselves the proud owner of the L.A. Clippers.