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Arts and Entertainment

An Oscar Sized Nuclear Bomb Explodes In My Brain

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UPDATE: Looks like the forces of Truth, Justice and the Irishican Way prevailed everyone - It's not hard in here for a Once after all:

"The Academy’s music branch executive committee has met and endorsed the validity of 'Falling Slowly' as a nominated achievement. The committee relied on written assurances and detailed chronologies provided by songwriter of 'Falling Slowly', the writer-director of Once and Fox Searchlight."
So there you go - The good guys win and Once remains in contention for Best Original Song. And yours truly can save that stroke for something else, like when Meet the Spartans is nominated for Best Picture in 2009.

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Hold onto whatever it is that pops whenever you have a stroke, because as you can read over at Chud, the geniuses who determine "Oscar-worthiness" might be cooking up some more of that ol' Hollywood Magic:

When The New York Times' David Carr reported on Saturday that "Falling Slowly", the lovely Glen Hansard/Marketa Irglova ballad from Once, was in danger of being ruled ineligible post-nomination, I immediately suspected shenanigans and a quick denial from the AMPAS. As Kris Tapley points out at Red Carpet District, this matter was dealt with months ago; though "Falling Slowly" was included on an LP released prior to Once's theatrical debut, that isn't a violation of the Academy's rules in and of itself. So what's the snag? Apparently, the veracity of Hansard's claim that he wrote "Falling Slowly" specifically for the film has come into question. And just who would gain from nagging the Academy about what seems to be a baseless accusation? There are only two other films up for the award. Shouldn't be hard to figure out.

That's right folks, apparently the nominee for Best Original Song that's actually worth a damn might be removed from contention because, well, shite, I don't know. Once recieved one nomination. Enchanted recieved More Than That. This makes no sense whatsoever, unless, maybe, the Best Original Song is actually a secret code for "Best movie that should have, but didn't, give everyone Eyeball AIDS, for which we are grateful.")

Hey Oscars, I have an idea - why not just re-nominate Three 6 Mafia? It's Hard out Here For a Pimp is way more terrible than even Enchanted could hope to achieve. Hell, while you're at it, let's just bring Dances With Wolves back so you can give that cinematic tumor the Best Picture Oscar all over again. Apparently, it was better than Goodfellas, so it's got to be better than No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood, right?

Watching the AARP Oscar voters reward Enchanted is going to hurt almost as much as it did watching them pretend Elliott Smith had a chance against Celine Dion.

Luckily, the Oscargenarians haven't dropped the Hatchet yet. So, while we wait to find out whether or not they need to be driven out of town on the next train, why not listen to one of the best Ballads the 2000's have yet produced, the obviously suprior, Oscar Worthy Song that is up against multiple crap songs from the same crap movie, and join me in contemplating the possibility that the Oscar Committee people might just be, if their capacity for disappointing anyone in America with an IQ over 60 is any judge, the 2000 US Supreme Court in disguise.