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American Idol: Two Hours That We'll Never Get Back

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There's five hours of American Idol on TV this week. And last night's two-hour singing competition that was supposed to separate the men from the boys -- at least the American Idol contenders from the poseurs -- felt like all five wrapped up in one show. That's not a good sign. But we realized why we do these recaps (despite some naysayers): It's so you don't have to lose two hours of your life that you'll never get back.

Last night's show was disappointing to say the least. Most of the guysboys let their nerves get the best of them and barely sung their songs on key. Many chose terrible songs that made them sound like rejects from KBIG or KOST 103.5.

Simon was being picked on unfairly by Ryan, Randy and Paula (who is sounding more and more like Randy's parrot) for speaking the truth. He was dead-on most of the time. This is Hollywood after all: only those with toughest skin survive. Why mince words if you suck?

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So here are our top three guy singers from last night's show (in no particular order because no one was really THAT great):

  1. Jared Cotter singing Brian McKnight's "Back at One"
  2. Blake "Beatboxer" Lewis doing something completely different and singing Keane's "Somewhere Only We Know"
  3. and

  4. Chris "Jack Osborne" Sligh for singing MuteMath's "Typical." We never saw that one coming. Plus, you have to give him props for dissing Simon's Il Divo and Teletubbies background.

Now the two we think should go home on Thursday (based on their weak sauce performances, and not popularity):

  1. Sundance Head was an early favorite, but his Hollywood week was bad and "Nights in White Satin" performance was even worse.
  2. Sanjaya Malakar's rendition of a Stevie Wonder song was awful. He let his sister pick the song. Dude, there is a reason she's out of the competition. (And maybe she wants you to join her?

So tonight, we'll watch two hours more hours of the AI girls. Let's hope at least one of them can pull it together better than the boys did.