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This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.

Arts & Entertainment

Dude Who Writes Porn Parodies Describes How The XXX Magic Happens

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A porn parody writer who aspires to be the "Quentin Tarantino of Porn" shared the secrets behind writing scripts that feature a "winning combination of humor, story and hardcore fucking."

The creative mind behind such XXX flicks such as "My Slutty Valentine" and most recently "American Whore Story" went on Reddit today to answer everyone's questions. The writer who goes by rexy_unchained says that he managed to put his creative writing degree to use (inspiring!) with a job he found online. And just because he's writing porn doesn't mean he doesn't sound like every other writer: "ultimately its [sic] me trying to write an erotic opus and battling my bosses trying to justify the budget."

With porn parodies, he has to pick a subject that's trending (or at least seasonally relevant), which is how he almost wrote an entire miniseries called "Fuck Dynasty." Once he's chosen that, here's how the creative process works:

I love reading books, and scripts so my writing process always starts off with the characters. I flesh them out so they're real in my mind and then I let the story unfold around them based on their invented personalities.
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Right now he's working on a spoof on the Virgin Mary just in time for the holiday season: "Basically, Virgin Mary is a gullible chick who keeps getting banged by angels."So how does he write those sex scenes? Well, that's when he lets the directors take over: "I basically write the entire script and when it comes to the inevitable sex sequence, i just leave it blank and write "Fucking ensues now" - i leave all the sex shit to the director to control and film."

Because the Redditors asked (you know they did), he does in fact enjoy watching the porn that he helped to create: "Whenever I write a porno, there's always some secret kinky joy or weird sense of perverted 'control' and satisfaction I get from seeing actors saying and doing what I wrote."

He lists as his favorite writers Charles Bukowski, Chuck Klosterman and Orson Scott Card, and he's not into the gonzo porn genre: "I want to bring back the element that porn is fantasy and not just some color-by-the-numbers chore you have to half-heartedly try to enjoy."

Oh, and he's hoping to one day write the ultimate porn tell-all.

Here's a SFW trailer of "Home Alone: Return Of The Wet Bandits:"

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