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Help Me Drive a Car

PROLOGUE  0:01 

[Sounds of people playing basketball]

Megan Tan 0:01 

What's the score?

Unknown Speaker  0:03 

Uh, 10 to 19.

Megan Tan  0:05 

So down the street from my house, there's this soft sunlight that lights up a court. Romance plays out between men - and this basketball.

Man  0:16 

Shoot! Shoot!

Megan Tan  0:17 

You can tell that this is their happy hour.

Unknown Speaker  0:23  

[Sounds of people playing basketball]

Megan Tan 0:25

Now, I didn't grow up with basketball, and - I never really played myself. But in LA - it's easy to fall for a sport that this city loves so much.

Unknown Speaker 0:40

[Zoom Room sound]

Erick Galindo 0:40

*laughing*

Megan Tan 0:40

What up what up what up?

Megan Tan 0:42

Especially when you're in a Zoom Room with a bunch of basketball fans.

Erick Galindo 0:46

What up what up what up?

Megan Tan 0:47

What up what up what upppp?

Megan Tan 0:49

Erick and Marina who -- when we're talking about dreams, and taking risks -- naturally bring up basketball.

Erick Galindo 0:56

And I've also taken so many shots. But I always believe the shot's going in. And the other thing is, you have to love the process. Because if you don't love the process, you're gonna not never be happy. You're only going to be happy every once in a while.

Marina Peña 1:11

Yeah, and luckily we like don't have to make like 20 or 30 shots to like win a game? We just need to get one. *soft laughing*

Erick Galindo 1:18

Like yeah! And you don't even need to win the game! I mean that like winning the game was great like, winning? But, but you don't even need to win if you just enjoy playing. [MUX IN - Inspiring Innovation (Instrumental) by Golden Dunes-52]

Megan Tan 1:31

[Basketball sounds] This show is about taking shots.

Megan Tan 1:36

You've already done so much.

Jessica Pilot 1:39

Yeah, I know. I can't even believe it. Yeah!

Megan Tan 1:41

It's a show about helping people enjoy the process of putting things into motion.

Elliot 1:45

All right, let's put it in drive. Feel the power?

Jessica Pilot 1:48

Yeah, I feel the power.

Megan Tan 1:49

Doing things that are scary - that feel overwhelming - that they've been putting off for weeks, for years. [MUX OUT - Inspiring Innovation (Instrumental) by Golden Dunes - 52]

[THEME MUX IN - OnlyUntilAllIsWell -07] You're listening to Snooze. A show about things people put off - how they conquer them, but most importantly - how they conquer themselves. And I'm - Megan Tan - LET'SSSSSSSSSSSS GOOOOOOOOO! [THEME MUX OUT]

Megan Tan 2:34

[Basketball swoosh] Hello, hello, helloooo. Alright, here we go. [Ring] Uhhh, I don't know why I have so much- so many feelings about this. [Ring] Hi - What's up?

Susan Tan 2:55

What?

Megan Tan 2:55

Nothing. Do you have headphones?

Susan Tan 2:57

Yeah, well I'm gettin' them, hold on there slick.

Megan Tan 3:00

Yo, this is my mom - the real star of the show. I mean - she's the real star of my show. She's the person I call whenever I have a problem.

Susan Tan 3:09

I'm nervous!

Megan Tan 3:12

Oh, yeah?

Megan Tan 3:12

Don't worry, mom. That makes two of us.

Susan Tan 3:15

Yeah, I don't know why.

Megan Tan 3:17

So I'm calling my mom because I realize that, as I'm making the show about things people put off - that I'm actually putting something off.

Susan Tan 3:27

Ha ha ha... Not you.

Megan Tan 3:29

Yeah, me. *soft laughing* Uhh, and, and that thing is actually being in front of the microphone again.

Susan Tan 3:38

Ohhhhh...

Megan Tan 3:38

Yeah...

Susan Tan 3:39

And so why are you putting this off?

Megan Tan 3:42

As much as I love being in front of the microphone - I'm really scared that - I'm gonna repeat what I experienced when I was making Millennial.

Megan Tan 3:55

It's true. I've been putting off hosting a show, just like this one. Why? [Inhale] Okay - I'm gonna try to explain it to you while on a treadmill, cuz why not? Here we go. [Sounds of treadmill]

Unknown Speaker 4:15

2014 was the first time I stepped into my closet and pushed record.

Megan Tan 4:19

[Soundbite from Millennial] You're listening to Millennial, a podcast series that documents something that no one teaches you. How to maneuver your 20s. A period that everyone goes through, and that 80 million people find themselves in right now...

Megan Tan 4:35

I started making this podcast called Millennial, which was thrilling, fulfilling and beautiful. I went from being a waitress to my dream job. I was getting paid to write, to interview people, to tell stories. Everything I love. And millions of people were listening to it. I had listeners from all over the world sending me messages. It was getting written up in the New York Times, The Guardian, The Atlantic. I was getting free things like a Casper mattress, which I still have and yes, it is very comfortable. But then - it took a turn. [Speaking faster] All of a sudden I felt everyone watching me, listening to me, and I was still alone in my closet, an amateur playing alongside pro athletes. And I had that feeling swallow me. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night unable to breathe and the deadlines didn't stop, the expectations grew, I became more isolated, more overworked, a shell of myself. I felt like I was on a treadmill. Until... [Beep] Until I wasn't. I blew a fuse and burned out.

Rob 5:50

So here's this thing that you built with a lot of your own sweat. And... And you walk away.

Megan Tan 5:57

You can hear it in my voice in an interview where I talk about ending the show.

Megan Tan 6:02

Mmm hmmm...

Rob 6:03

Do you know many people out there who are making their own podcasts right now would die for that?

Megan Tan 6:09

I wonder if they would though. Like, when the thing that you love - is grinding you into the ground --- mentally and emotionally. I don't think anybody really wants that.

Megan Tan 6:31

I definitely didn't want that. For the past four years, I've been putting off hosting a show - because I'm afraid to do it again. Ufff... I have a lot of feelings. I was nervous. I have like butterflies. When was the last time I interviewed someone. Like eww - how are we going to do this?

Susan Tan 6:49

So you said four things...

Megan Tan 6:53

And my mom starts breaking all of these fears down.

Susan Tan 6:58

Alone...

Megan Tan 6:59

Yeah...

Susan Tan 6:59

Are you really alone?

Megan Tan 7:02

[Sound of zoom call] Hey, Antonia --

AC 7:05

Hi, Megan.

Megan Tan 7:06

No, I'm not really alone.

Erick Galindo 7:08

[Sound of zoom call] I see this is being recorded.

Megan Tan 7:11

[Sound of zoom call] So, welcome to... *laughing*

Marina Peña 7:15

Snooze!

Megan Tan 7:16

Yeah, welcome to Snooze!

Megan Tan 7:20

I have people I know who KNOW how to make a show.

Marina Peña 7:23

Well the, the pitch itself - writing that out is one of the very first baby steps...

Megan Tan 7:29

Right. Yeah, I know! *laughing* That's why I'm so... That's why I feel - like I want you to know...

Megan Tan 7:33

And that's what I'm gonna do. I want to make a show about people getting over these internal blocks - so that I can get over mine.

Megan Tan 7:41

If I was left to my own devices - I'm nervous. I have like butterflies in my stomach. Like eww, how are we going to do this? I, it would just be harder.

Marina Peña 7:47

Yeah, we all need someone to like, get it.

Susan Tan 7:51

So you're not really alone. [MUX IN - Paceface (90) (Instrumental) by The Brow]

Megan Tan 7:53

I'm not really alone.

*Laughing* All right, everyone needs someone in their corner. Everyone needs a Snooze Squad. When Eric, Marina and I get together, we ask ourselves, how are we going to take this beautiful idea and put it into motion? How are we going to square up to take our shot? We make a list of things to do to stop snoozing Snooze.

Megan Tan 8:22

I think we need to pre-interview people.

Marina Peña 8:24

Hell, yeah.

Megan Tan 8:24

Right?

[Ringing] Austin!

AF 8:29

Hello!

Megan Tan 8:29

Hello! [Ringing in background]

Marina Peña 8:31

Did I press record, ok.

Alejandro 8:33

Yeah. [Ringing]

Francisco 8:35

Hello?

EG 8:35

Ey, Francisco.

Francisco 8:37

Mira, como estas.

EG 8:38

Bien bien, y tu?

Francisco 8:35

Good, good, good.

Megan Tan 8:40

This is Megan.

Britanie 8:41

Hey, Megan Tan!

Marina Peña 8:43

What is that thing that you've been putting off?

Erick Galindo 8:46

So what is the thing you've been...

Megan Tan 8:48

Tell me about what you're putting off?

Francisco 8:49

I guess therapy?

Beto 8:51

For years, I been meaning to do stand up comedy.

Geraldo 8:53

Welllll, ummm - Audition tape for RuPaul's Drag Race?

Megan Tan 9:02

Yeahhhhh! *Laughing*

Megan Tan 9:02

As Marina, Erick and I are talking to people, we have to specifically be thinking about what the show needs, what we're looking for...

Megan Tan 9:09

What would make us say, this would be perfect for Snooze?

Marina 9:14

How much the person cares about this hurdle in their life?

Megan Tan 9:20

I think something very specific.

Jessica Pilot 9:22

Heyyyy, so I'm looking into the permit... studying the test. Yeah, I will update you Friday. [MUX OUT - Paceface (90) (Instrumental) by The Brow]

Megan Tan 9:35

Specific, like finding someone named Jessica Pilot to be featured on the pilot of this podcast, who has been putting off becoming a pilot, not in a plane but in a car.

Jessica Pilot 9:47

Hey, Megan, quick question. When's my deadline to get my um learner's permit? That's all I need to know. What is my deadline? Thank you... Much love.

Megan Tan 9:58

Jessica Pilot has been snoozing getting her license for the past eight years. [Drum Solo Clap (Instrumental) by Michael Charles Smith]

But now, she's gonna take her shot.

Megan Tan 10:08

[Zoom chime] What's up?

Jessica Pilot 10:13

Heyyyy!

Megan Tan 10:13

Hey! I mean, I'm so excited that you... (duct under)

Megan Tan 10:17

Before we unsnooze Jessica's snooze, I sit down with her because I really want to understand what this block is about. Why does she want to get her license and why hasn't she been able to?

Jessica Pilot 10:29

Cuz in my life, I'm a driver. I drive shit. Like I run - game. I am good. I am not a back seat. You know what? I am a leader. I mean, come on. My name is Jessica Pilate.

Megan Tan 10:45

Haha...

Megan Tan 10:47

Jessica's from New York City. You can hear it in her direct, no bullshit sentences, in the way she says "water."

Jessica Pilot 10:54

Water. It's like "water" has a "D" in it.

Megan Tan 11:00

When she was 16, she didn't get her driver's license. Instead, she ran around with quarters in ziplock bags.

Jessica Pilot 11:07

I remember taking a cab one time to see a girlfriend of mine. I remember like the fare was like, I was like $18 or something and I had only quarters. And the cab driver being so so livid. Dude, I'm a kid. In my life, there were a lot of things that I couldn't control and being able to get into a cab and go where I wanted to go as quickly as I wanted to, uh on a direct route was very uh, important to me. But, I will say that I was never scared and that scares me... In the back of my mind, I never felt scared to get into a cab until I grew up.

Megan Tan 11:58

When Jessica outgrew paying for cabs with quarters, she sold a show to National Geographic, wrote stories for Vanity Fair, Glamour... [Clip of Stephen Colbert]

She produced TV and found comedic talents like Rami Youssef, and brought them onto the stage. Jessica was the driver of her own life. So every time she jumped into a car, she felt like she was in control of exactly where she was going. Until one night -- It was late. She was leaving a bar. Heading home. [Rotate (Instrumental) by John Matthias]

Jessica Pilot 12:39

I was in a car, Uber, and I had my destination, you know, written in and um, I wasn't paying attention. And I was just on my phone. I looked up because the car stopped. And I was in like a really weird alley with just nothing around me. And I was in Red Hook. And I didn't live in Red Hook. And I heard a - lock. And I said, what's going on? And the driver just looked at me and smiled, like creepily. And I just said, What are you doing? What was going on? And I was really freaked out. And he was just kept looking at me. Guy wasn't letting me out for a really long time. And I was beginning to feel like something. I was sweating a lot and I was my heart was racing. I was so scared. And I just said like, whatever you think is gonna happen, that's I swear I said, That's not my narrative. This is not my narrative. [MUX OUT]

Finally he let me out and he started manically laughing, and he sped off. And I thought, God, I wish I could drive because I hate being helpless.

Megan Tan 14:17

That night, Jessica lost control in a space that once gave her freedom. Her relationship with getting into a car with a stranger would never be the same.

Jessica Pilot 14:28

I don't know, I nervously would make conversation with Uber drivers. Just so that I would feel like very engaged and alert. Hi, how are you? Are you good today? Which is fine. That's just being a nice person, but it's also out of fear and anxiety of trusting my life with a stranger. You don't think about how precious your life is until you get older. You really love yourself in a new way and you're like damn, I want to live to 103, you know, or five.

Megan Tan 15:02

So you think that's a part of it, too, is like your perception of the value of your own life starts to change.

Jessica Pilot 15:07

Absolutely.

Megan Tan 15:09

As Jessica got older, she wanted to protect herself by actually being able to drive. But she kept running into walls. Her friends discouraged her, told her she was too "New York." There was this guy she was dating. He told her he would teach her how to drive. But then they broke up. And then recently, in 2020, Jessica signed up for driving classes on her own. But they were canceled. [MUSIC IN - You and Me (Instrumental) by Bridge City Revival - 28] But then one night, her aura of unluckiness shifted - just a little bit. She hopped into a car with a stranger, who was unlike all of the strangers before.

Megan Tan 15:57

Can you tell me how you guys met?

Jessica Pilot 16:01

Yeah, we met on Bumble. And he picked me up in his car, we still can't believe I went to his car. He picked me up and we made a joke over text saying that I'll pretend you're my Uber driver. [MUSIC]

Megan Tan 16:22

When Elliot, the soft-eyed patient man, picked Jessica up for the first time - she didn't sit in the backseat. She sat right beside him. Over dinner, Jessica and Elliot talked about how she didn't drive. And he told her that he would teach her. And she believed him. And that thought stayed with her and followed her on long drives to visit his family.

Jessica Pilot 16:55

Well, his family's in Pittsburgh, and that takes like six hours to get to. [MUSIC]

Megan Tan 17:17

Jessica wanted to go on those trips. But...

Jessica Pilot 17:21

It's a lot of time to be sitting in the passenger seat. It would be nice to share the responsibility and say hey, why don't I, why don't I drive some? Also, I like see myself one day like, Yeah, I'll be like driving a kid, right? Going on a road trip. Someone who I'll, I see as my partner. I don't think I should be a passenger in that journey.

Megan Tan 17:50

Jessica is not in a car with a stranger anymore. She's with Elliot. Someone she wants to build a future with. Someone she wants to care for when his eyes get tired. And so she's going to face her fears and become a driver. So Elliot doesn't have to drive alone. And I'm here, to help her do that. [MUX OUT]

Jessica Pilot 18:14

[Beep] Hey, Megan - quick question. When's my deadline to get my um, learner's permit? That's all I need to know...

Megan Tan 18:31

First things first, she has to get her permit. She has to take a test.

Megan Tan 18:36

[Beep] Hey, girl - the week of August 22nd.

Megan Tan 18:38

We put a deadline on it. Four weeks. This is her moment - to shoot her shot. [Sounds of people playing basketball] [MUX OUT]

Jessica Pilot 18:52

[Beep] I downloaded two apps today - to study. Less Instagram, more learner's permit uh, program.

Megan Tan 19:02

[Beep] *Laughing* Less Instagram more learner's permit program. That's gold.

Jessica Pilot 19:09

[Beep] So I'm sitting at lunch with my dad, and my dad is gonna test me on some of the signs. Okay, I think that means stop.

Jessica’s Dad 19:19

What does that say? Stop. It's a stop sign.

Jessica Pilot 19:21

Yes.

Jessica’s Dad 19:22

This says stop.

Jessica Pilot 19:23

Right.

Jessica’s Dad 19:23

What is that? It says what?

Jessica and Dad 19:25

Yield RR.

Jessica Pilot 19:26

Oh, that's railroad crossing...

Jessica’s Dad 19:27

Rest 'n recouperation...

Jessica Pilot 19:27

No... [Fade out]

[Beep] Well, it is August 4th. It is 3:40pm. I just took a practice DMV test. And - I failed.

[Beep] August 9th. Um, I had a little bit of a panic today where I thought, oh my god, I'm not going to be able to get it together. And I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna fail.

[Beep] Good morning. What is it, the 16th? Sure is. Alright, here's the bad news. I did not pass the learner's permit online test today.

Megan Tan 20:05

[Beep] As Jessica's sending me these voice memos, I realize it's not just about her not passing this test. She's afraid that everyone who's told her she couldn't drive will be right.

Jessica Pilot 20:20

No one let me get behind the wheel.

Megan Tan 20:22

Why? What did they say?

And failing this test is only reinforcing that doubt.

Jessica Pilot 20:28

Because I was quote unquote, so "New York." Cuz I was talking on my phone, reading my messages. I was just, you know, being like the same kid I was when I was 15 in the back of a cab.

Megan Tan 20:44

And what did you think?

Jessica Pilot 20:46

I don't know. I just thought, yeah, you're right. Because when people say things to you, sometimes you fight it. But sometimes it just becomes part of your psyche.

Megan Tan 21:03

But I'm here to tell her...

Megan Tan 21:05

You will pass. At some point you will pass, and um, I have absolute confidence in that.

The test is wrong. The voices are wrong...

[Ringing] I actually think your brain, Jessica, because it's constantly in motion is going to make you an excellent driver.

Jessica Pilot 21:27

Oh, wow!

Megan Tan 21:29

Yeah, because kind of what you said, like when you're walking on the street of New York, you're already a type of person who, who sees surroundings and like a 360 degree angle, you know, like, kind of like, being aware of like, everything that's happening, right? And that, and that is also driving. You know?

Jessica Pilot 21:50

Cool.

[Beep] I took a practice test, and I got 65. That's better than 53.

Megan Tan 21:57

[Beep] I can still tell Jessica is judging herself. So, I call her.

Megan Tan 22:03

[Ringing] Hey, Jessica. Sorry, I'm having conversations with my mom in the car.

Jessica Pilot 22:09

Oh, don't be sorry.

Megan Tan 22:11

How are you? *Laughing*

Jessica Pilot 22:13

I'm ok.

Susan Tan 22:13

Girl, listen. You've already done so much. Like you've been putting this off for eight years. And you have done so much in a month.

Jessica Pilot 22:26

Yeah, I know. I can't even believe it.

Megan Tan 22:27

Yeah! I know! It's - that's incredible!

Jessica Pilot 22:30

It's crazy! It's crazy!

Megan Tan 22:30

It's a really - it really is!

Jessica Pilot 22:34

Ah! You know what, you need to start a program called getting people to do what they say they were going to do, because...

Megan Tan 22:40

*Laughing* Girl, that's what the show is!

Megan Tan 22:45

I'm laughing because Jessica is so deep into this Snooze program, that she forgets that she's a part of it. My job is to help her pass the test, to get her driving, and to get her to enjoy every single step in the middle. My mother, who's sitting right next to me, agrees.

Megan Tan 23:02

Okay, my mom has suggestions...

Megan Tan 23:04

She hears me talking to Jessica and motions for me to give her the phone.

Susan Tan 23:08

Okay, Jessica.

Jessica Pilot 23:10

Hi!

Susan Tan 23:11

Hi, sweetie! I'm so excited for you. So... (duct under)

Jessica Pilot 23:15

Yeah! It's cool, right?

Megan Tan 23:17

So when my mom starts talking to Jessica on the phone, she wants Jessica to know that learning how to drive is more than memorizing facts. It's about trusting yourself.

Susan Tan 23:29

It's doing what's called a contour drawing. Have you ever done that before?

Jessica Pilot 23:34

No...

Susan Tan 23:35

What you do is you hold your pencil loosely. And you just look at what's in front of you. And you draw, like, you know what you what you see, and you can glance down but you can't lift your pencil off the paper.

Jessica Pilot 23:53

Right, the rule.

Susan Tan 23:55

And what it does is it trains your eye hand coordination. It really is a really great exercise for training yourself to drive because when you're driving, it's all about looking, seeing, and then having confidence in your movements.

Megan Tan 24:16

My mom encourages Jessica to have the mindset of a driver, not a test taker. We want her look beyond these two-dimensional questions into a three-dimensional world. We want her look to the road.

Susan Tan 24:30

Okay?

Jessica Pilot 24:31

That makes sense. I'll, I'll try it.

Megan Tan 24:33

[Beep] Jessica has been studying for this test for 30 days. Now? It feels like she's driving with her mind. And that is stifling...

Jessica Pilot 24:47

[Beep] I got stressed out on the highway, because I was looking at the speeding limit. And we were going about seven miles faster than this speeding limit. And then I started to get overwhelmed. Think I'm going to have to be alone with my own uh, anxiety on the road.

Megan Tan 25:12

Jessica's failed this permit test - twice.

Jessica Pilot 25:16

But, you know - I'm going to be a fearless driver one day; I'm going to be smooth operator.

Megan Tan 25:25

But it doesn't matter. Because - she wants to take the test again.

Jessica Pilot 25:31

[Whistling sounds] I'm going to be cool. I'm going to have the windows down, one hand on the wheel, and nah - that, that won't be me, but um, I'd like to think that I would be blasting music and um, going a little bit above the speeding limit at some point.

Megan Tan 25:51

[Beep] Hey, girl. It's Megan. I heard you're taking your permit test again today. Um and I just wanted to say, you got this! *Laughing*

Jessica Pilot 26:08

[Beep] Alright, I'm ready. This shouldn't take long. Let's fucking go. Alright, alright, alright. Agree, agree. Yep, yep, yep.

Megan Tan 26:18

So, the thing about this test is Jessica can only miss six questions. And those questions sound like this:

Megan Tan 26:27

[Music] You have just left an expressway and are starting to drive on an ordinary highway. I don't even know what that means. You should - Gradually lower your speed limit. That sounds great. Check your speedometer to keep at the lower speed limits. You're just going to check it. Okay. Maintain your original speed to keep the driving momentum. Check your tires for correct pressure.

Jessica Pilot 26:50

Check your tires, why, you know? Yeah, you got to gradually go to the lower speed limit. Okay...

Megan Tan 27:02

My personal favorites are the survivor scenario questions, like if your brake pedal suddenly sinks to the floor, you should - Try to pump it up -

Jessica Pilot 27:13

With what?

Megan Tan 27:14

Shift into neutral and shut off the engine. That actually sounds kind of practical. *Laughing* Like your your car's breaking down, you should stop driving. Try to raise it by hooking your toe. Period. That's all it says.

Jessica Pilot 27:31

No! What the fuck?

Megan Tan 27:34

That just sounds nasty. *Laughing*

She gets this right. 10 minutes into the test, Jessica becomes a pro because she just starts having fun.

Jessica Pilot 27:46

Okay, long trips you can prevent drowsiness... (duct under)

Megan Tan 27:49

On long trips, you can prevent drowsiness by- turning on your car radio, slowing down, moving your eyes from side to side...

Jessica Pilot 27:58

Moving your eyes from side to side. Hahaha! Uh, smoking pot. It doesn't say that - I was just kidding. Can you imagine?

Megan Tan 28:10

Or stopping at regular intervals for rest. [Sound of car stopping]

Megan Tan 28:17

14 minutes later...

Jessica Pilot 28:18

Jessica... [Upbeat music] Congratulations on successfully completing your learner's permit knowledge test.

Megan Tan 28:32

Jessicaaaaa! You did it!!!

Jessica Pilot 28:51

Okay, 6:33pm and I'm meeting Elliot downstairs now. So, my driving instructor is uh, my hot boyfriend. How lucky am I?

Megan Tan 29:04

[MUX IN] Four weeks ago, Jessica and I got on the phone. And we made a plan. We also made some deadlines. Jessica would have her Learner's Permit by August 22nd. She passed the test on August 18th.

Jessica Pilot 29:22

2:18pm. Light jazz in the back. Elliot Shields behind the wheel, soon to be Jessica Pilot behind the wheel. So -

Elliot 29:32

We're in a small parking lot behind a church...

Jessica Pilot 29:35

Behind a church...

Elliot 29:36

It's a beautiful sunny day, winds are calm...

Jessica Pilot 29:38

Okay, so I'm exiting passenger seat, and let's go into driver... seat -

Elliot 29:47

Position. Driver's seat.

Jessica Pilot 29:49

Okay. *Laughing* All right, good again, hang on...

Megan Tan 29:57

When Jessica goes from the passenger seat to the driver's seat, she's not getting in with a stranger anymore.

Elliot 30:04

It's all controlled with one foot.

Jessica Pilot 30:06

Right.

Elliot 30:05

Your right foot...

Megan Tan 30:08

It's possible that from here on out, anytime she gets into a car, she'll be sitting next to someone she knows. It's possible she'll be with Elliot. But now, behind the wheel, she'll always be with herself.

Jessica Pilot 30:25

Over to left. Down. Now we're in drive.

Elliot 30:28

Now you're in drive. You see it up there?

Jessica Pilot 30:30

Yeah.

Elliot 30:30

Feel the power?

Jessica Pilot 30:31

Yeah, I feel the power.

Elliot 30:38

She's driving... [MUX]

Nice stop. Wasn't abrupt or anything, eased into it nicely, controlling the car.

Jessica Pilot 31:01

Now we're going this way, and I want to be a little more centered, so I'm just gonna go like this.

ACT III: 31:07

[Sound of keys] [Door opening]

Megan Tan 31:17

In the car, going to the studio *Laughing*...

Megan Tan 31:20

As Jessica is learning to love this process, so am I. 3000 miles away from where she and Elliot are driving in the parking lot, I'm also taking my shot. I'm on my way to sit in front of a microphone to host a show for the first time in four years. And it's - surreal.

Megan Tan 31:46

Started crying again! These are like beautiful tears, you know?

Megan Tan 31:53

And my mother's words that pierce all of my fears - echo in my head.

Susan Tan 32:03

Now, this may be not a good analogy, but it's the one that popped into my head. You're pregnant and you are going to have a baby...

Megan Tan 32:11

*Laughing* Yeah...

Susan Tan 32:13

You always think that it's going to be the same as the first one. But it never is. And that's because, you know, so many variables have changed. So to think that your experience is going to be the same as Millennial is really not true at all.

Megan Tan 32:39

New baby... *Laughing*

Susan Tan 32:41

Yeah...

Megan Tan 32:43

Dreams of this baby... Well, I want this baby to help people. And, and when people listen to this, I hope that they can face themselves a little more too.

Susan Tan 32:57

They will.

Megan Tan 33:02

*Laughing* Aww, thanks, Mom.

Susan Tan 33:04

So go for it. Dive in. Jump off the freakin cliff!

Megan Tan 33:08

[Sounds of people playing basketball] Okay, I will... AND THIS IS IT.

[THEME MUX] On this season of Snooze, we're gonna help Gerardo apply to be a contestant on RuPaul's Drag Race, help Mark find a sex therapist and get advice from people like comedian artscow Alaska and actress Rosario Dawson. I'm Megan Tan...

Erick Galindo 33:44

I'm Erick Galindo.

Marina Peña 33:45

And I'm Marina Peña!

Megan Tan 33:48

And we are Snooze.

Erick Galindo 34:04

If you have something that you've been putting off, call us. 323-591-8159. That's 323-591-8159. Leave us a message. And you could be on an episode of Snooze. Don't put it off. I'm talking to you!

Megan Tan 34:24

And now, shout out to everyone who helped make this episode of Snooze happen. It was produced by Marina Peña and me, Megan Tan. I also did the sound design. It was written by Erick Galindo and myself. Erick also edited and fact checked this episode. Hosted was by, well, you know, the person you've been listening to this whole time. Thank you! It was edited and engineered by Donald Paz. Jessica Pilot is our talent producer. Erick Galindo is our showrunner. Antonia Cereijido and Leo G are the executive producers. Our theme song is by Wayne Dopeman. Make sure you hit follow, like, subscribe to Snooze, wherever you get your podcasts. You can follow me on Twitter or on Instagram @meganleetan and the show @Snoozepodcast. Our website on laist.com is designed by Andy Cheatwood and the digital and marketing team, who also created our branding. Snooze is a production of LAist Studios. Thanks to the team over there, including Taylor Coffman, Kristen Hayford, Kristen Muller, Andy Orozco, Michael Cosentino and Leo G.

Erick Galindo 35:35

Support for this podcast is made possible by Gordon and Dona Crawford, who believe that quality journalism makes Los Angeles a better place to live. This program is made possible in part by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, a private corporation funded by the American people.

Megan Tan 35:52

If you like Snooze, rate and review us on Apple podcasts. Trust me, it really helps. And we would also love to know what you think. And if you love Snooze, and you want to shower us with appreciation, become a sustaining member of KPCC and LAist Studios by going to laist.com, that's laist.com/memberships. Support the place that supports this work that supports people like me. I'm Megan Tan and thank youuuuuu for listening. Erick, *laughing* is there anything else you're snoozing? Something small...

Erick Galindo 36:38

Is there something I'm snoozing? Hmmm... I have been... Yes. I have been considering getting a, um, new computer, but computers are so expensive and just like the old - line...

Megan Tan 36:57

*Laughing* It's okay, you don't want a new computer.

Erick Galindo 37:01

I don't! No!

Megan Tan 37:06

*Laughing*

Erick Galindo 37:07

*Laughing* I don't know what I've been snoozing, started making shit up! What am I snoozing, let me think...

Megan Tan 37:09

It's okay. He's thinking about it.

Erick Galindo 37:10

I'm snoozing...

Megan Tan 37:11

On the next episode, Erick will tell us what he's snoozing.