"Wine spritzer" — two words that strike fear, rage, anxiety, and contempt in the hearts of cocktail mavens and wine enthusiasts everywhere.

But why? Why is the spritzer so stigmatized?

It perhaps has something to do with the idea that it's neither wine nor cocktail.

Wine drinkers drink their wine full-strength, not diluted with fizz and ice. Cocktails lovers favor ... well, you know, REAL BOOZE, like vodka and whiskey.

But when the thermometer climbs way, way, way up, the wine spritzer is a blessing. It's a lightly alcoholic refresher, and in the classic white-wine formulation, with a few ounces of a relatively inexpensive, say, Sauvignon Blanc joining club soda or seltzer, ice, and a slice of lemon, a blessed refreshment on a 100+ degree LA afternoon.

It doesn't have to be white, either. DeBord mixes up red-wine spritzer, too, substituting a slice of lime for the lemon. One can also add splashes of other libations.

Rabe speaks of Coca-Cola + red wine (a "sacrilege" but perfect at outdoor summer weddings).

DeBord tells stories of vodka, Campari, Lillet ...

Look folks, the sidewalks are melting out there. It's called a Flex Alert for a reason: you need to be more flexible. We need to abandon old drinking biases and go with what works. We need to hydrate! And that's why we need to get over our spritzer fears!

You can do better than this: