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Having breakfast with a stranger can help cure feeling lonely in LA, according to this Burbank man
On a Sunday morning, I walked into Coral Cafe in Burbank to have breakfast with a stranger.
Raz, as he prefers to be called, has been meeting with different people — different strangers — over a cup of coffee and French toast almost every week for the past six months.
The idea started when a solo meal turned into a spontaneous shared table with a woman who was also planning on eating alone. Their hour-long conversation left a profound impact on Raz, and a lingering feeling that he wanted to have that kind of connection again.
So, he opened up the invite on Reddit. Nearly 20 neighbors have had a meal with him since then.
“For me, it's never been about who you are or the job you have,” he told LAist. “It's just more about the impact that we have on each other, and the impact that you have on me.”
A little ‘leap of faith’
I didn’t know much about Raz when I first got to the restaurant, not even his name.
I did know I was looking out for someone with shoulder length blonde hair and glasses, but I didn't need to guess much with the waiter in on the arrangement.
The waiter walked me right up to Raz at his usual table, and any of the awkwardness or strained small talk I expected evaporated almost immediately. Although we were more than 30 years apart in age, we had a lot in common.
The hour-long breakfast quickly turned into two as we talked about family, politics, relationships, work, childhood, religion and health, to name a few. We made tentative plans to see each other again at Raz’s weekly dance classes, hugged, and parted ways.
“We're a puzzle, right? And all the pieces are everywhere … but if you start laying them down into the puzzle, it starts to create a giant picture,” he told me over another plate of French toast last week. “And that's kind of what it is, you know? It's that connection and disconnection.”
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Stories from the series
Raz shares short posts on the Burbank subreddit about each breakfast, but he’s careful to avoid any identifying details of the neighbors he’s dining with or the conversations they have.
Instead, he refers to them as nicknames like the Artist, Captain Max and the Tornado.
Raz described the Artist in his post as a woman with “electric” energy who made the table seem “a little brighter from the moment she sat down.”
There was nothing pirate-like about Captain Max, but Raz wrote that he still found himself “on the ship, sitting on a barrel of rum, listening to our captain spin tales of the sea.”
The Tornado was a smart woman, “like big-brain, med-school smart,” who treated “life like a buffet,” Raz said in his post. After drinking an obscene amount of coffee together, they realized they still hadn’t gotten each other's names, but decided they didn’t need to, for the fun of it.
Southern California can feel lonely at times, which is why Raz said he went to the cafe to begin with. But he said he doesn’t feel that way anymore, at least since having Sunday breakfasts with strangers to look forward to.
“The more I get to know people, the more I want to know more people,” he said. “And to me, that's like a new feeling.”
A tradition in LA
There’s a history of having meals with strangers in Southern California, like with the Los Angeles Breakfast Club.
The club hosts weekly breakfasts at the Friendship Auditorium in Los Feliz — a storied tradition that dates back a century.
Anna Trumbo, vice president of the L.A. Breakfast Club, told LAist people often show up alone, and it’s a great opportunity to meet others outside of your age group.
“Everyone is so welcoming, and just immediately struck up conversations, and now these are some of my best friends,” Trumbo said. “But that first morning where it really was breakfast with strangers, felt very [much] like breathing a sigh of relief.”
How to join
- You can reach out to have breakfast with Raz by emailing breakfastwithmeLA@gmail.com.
- You can learn more about the Los Angeles Breakfast club, including tickets and membership details, on its website.