Top Seven Simpson's New Years Resolutions

Many things make it into the LAist email box. But when anything is sent from Springfield we mark it Spam immediately.

Somehow this slipped through the filter.

We keeeed. The Simpsons have been on the air longer than most of you could pee straight and apparently this year they have decided to agree on some resolutions. Here they be...

In preparation for the New Year, Homer, Marge and many of their fellow Springfieldians vow to change their ways in 2007:

Homer: I resolve to lose 10 pounds, and then gain it back by Valentines Day.

Marge: I resolve to finally learn how to make pancakes that don't stick to the pan. Bart helped me come up with that one.

Krusty: In 2007, I promise not to keep using the same old jokes Ive been telling since 1961.

Chief Wiggum: In the coming year, I resolve to learn how to work the safety on my gun.

Comic Book Guy: In 2007, I resolve to boldly go where I have never gone before out on a date with a woman.

Barney: I resolve to quit drinking coffee. It leaves less room for beer.

Ned Flanders: I resolve to be pious and kind and gentle and yippee, skippee I already am! Happy 2007, everybody!