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Today is Alfred Hitchcock's Birthday

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The unmatched director was a quotable genius. Here are just some of his funniest quips.

Actors are cattle.

Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.

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Dialogue should simply be a sound among other sounds, just something that comes out of the mouths of people whose eyes tell the story in visual terms.

Disney has the best casting. If he doesn't like an actor he just tears him up.

Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.

Give them pleasure - the same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare.

I am a typed director. If I made Cinderella, the audience would immediately be looking for a body in the coach.

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If it's a good movie, the sound could go off and the audience would still have a perfectly clear idea of what was going on.

In feature films the director is God; in documentary films God is the director.

In films murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man.

In the old days villains had moustaches and kicked the dog. Audiences are smarter today. They don't want their villain to be thrown at them with green limelight on his face. They want an ordinary human being with failings.

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One must never set up a murder. They must happen unexpectedlly, as in life.

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.

Self-plagiarism is style.

Some of our most exquisite murders have been domestic, performed with tenderness in simple, homey places like the kitchen table.

Someone once told me that every minute a murder occurs, so I don't want to waste your time, I know you want to go back to work.

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Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.

Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up everytime.

Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. It didn't change people's habits. It just kept them inside the house.

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it.

I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.

When an actor comes to me and wants to discuss his character, I say, 'It's in the script.' If he says, 'But what's my motivation?, ' I say, 'Your salary.'

I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle.

via Brainy Quotes where, believe it or not, there are even more Hitchcock quotes