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The Hottest Mugshots Ever

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This could be an album cover. Really, how does Bowie manage to never look uncool, ever? He is constantly styling, even in the jail cell. I would totally be his prison bitch. Not to rip off The Smoking Gunonce again, but this one called out to me. I am going to hang it over my bed.

I don't know why Janis had issues with self-confidence. She was smokin'. Whoever artfully arranged this group and the Bowie shots above could hang them in a gallery.

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Shia LaBeouf looks like this could be any high school kid's senior picture. Except for the tell-tale glassy eyes.

Then again, considering I went to high school in the South Bay, the glassy eyes are in most of the yearbook photos.

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Are those choirboy robes Chris Tucker is wearing? Was he arrested for preaching too loudly in the university quad?

He's all pissed off because they're making him late for dinner at his mother's house.

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And speaking of yearbook photos, is Christian Slater actually wearing a letterman jacket? Was he arrested on the set of Heathers?

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How much cuter could Hayley Joel Osment be? And the answer is "None. None cuter." What an all-American boy! This could be the cover of Teen Beat.

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In spite of marijuana and drug posession, he looks like he could maintain in front of your grandma and she'd bake him chocolate-chip cookies.

And he really likes chocolate-chop cookies. A lot.

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Oh, sure, he's a little ruddy from all that alcohol in his system. But that doesn't stop him from tilting his head just so and letting out just the barest hint of a smile. He can't not pose.

It's as if it's in his genes.

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"Since when did playing bongos naked in the privacy of your own home become a crime? Hunh, fellahs? Brah?? ....oh. Well, you do what you gotta do man, right? And I do what I gotta do. We're cool."

Come on, admit it. He's just one thorough shower away from you totally doing him. In the sand. Covered in Ouzo and hyacinth.