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The Republican National Convention opens today in New York City (after a welcome from hundreds of thousands of anti-Bush protestors), and LAist thought that our readers, being from one of the Bluest of Blue States, would appreciate a primer of what we can expect to hear from the Red Staters of the GOP. [Ed note: You can check out Joshuah Bearman's RNC coverage at LA Weekly.com for daily reports.]
What you will hear:
• Buzzwords such as "leader," "resolve," "strength," "decisive," and "coalition of the willing."
• John Kerry is a flip-flopping liberal from Taxachussetts.
• John McCain.
• Ownership.
• Better living through tax cuts.
• Family values.
• National Security.
• 9/11.
• Saddam Hussein.
What you won't hear:
• Buzzwords such as "record deficits," "unilateralism," "outsourcing," and "Herbert Hoover."
• George Bush is flip-flopping reactionary who's blown a hole in the budget the size of, well, Texas.
• Tom DeLay.
• Privatization.
• Fiscal responsibility.
• Dick Cheney's gay daughter.
• WMD.
• 9/11 Commission.
• Osama Bin Laden.
And of course, if black-clad anarchists follow through on their threats to violently disrupt the convention, look for the GOP to take a page from the Nixon playbook, claim they speak for the silent majority of Americans who support law and order, and attempt to tie John Kerry's unpatriotic Vietnam-era protests to the unpatriotic fighting in the streets of NYC.
Either way, the conjunction of the straight-laced GOP and wide-open New York City should make for interesting political theater.