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The GOP in NYC: Day One

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The Republican National Convention opens today in New York City (after a welcome from hundreds of thousands of anti-Bush protestors), and LAist thought that our readers, being from one of the Bluest of Blue States, would appreciate a primer of what we can expect to hear from the Red Staters of the GOP. [Ed note: You can check out Joshuah Bearman's RNC coverage at LA Weekly.com for daily reports.]

What you will hear:

• Buzzwords such as "leader," "resolve," "strength," "decisive," and "coalition of the willing."

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• John Kerry is a flip-flopping liberal from Taxachussetts.

• John McCain.

• Ownership.

• Better living through tax cuts.

• Family values.

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• National Security.

• 9/11.

• Saddam Hussein.

What you won't hear:

• Buzzwords such as "record deficits," "unilateralism," "outsourcing," and "Herbert Hoover."

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• George Bush is flip-flopping reactionary who's blown a hole in the budget the size of, well, Texas.

• Tom DeLay.

• Privatization.

• Fiscal responsibility.

• Dick Cheney's gay daughter.

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• WMD.

• 9/11 Commission.

• Osama Bin Laden.

And of course, if black-clad anarchists follow through on their threats to violently disrupt the convention, look for the GOP to take a page from the Nixon playbook, claim they speak for the silent majority of Americans who support law and order, and attempt to tie John Kerry's unpatriotic Vietnam-era protests to the unpatriotic fighting in the streets of NYC.

Either way, the conjunction of the straight-laced GOP and wide-open New York City should make for interesting political theater.