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Non-News Story of the Week -- Whoa

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We tried ignoring this headline and story, but we just couldn't.

Hollywood heartthrob Keanu Reeves, who stars in The Lake House with Speed buddy Sandra Bullock on June 16, says he wants to get married. According to a preview story of this week's Parade Magazine, (inserted into Sunday's Los Angeles Times) Keanu says that he's lonely, and wants to get married and have kids.

Hear that? That was the sound of presses stopping all around the world.