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My First Time in LA

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the debut of an ongoing series of posts by people recollecting their initial take on our little town

hi my name is raymi and the first time i went to your city i went cuhrazy and i was thrown in a mental hospital at the UCLA Medical Center or some shit and they had to put me in four-point restraints and inject my left hip with something that knocked me out cos i was 100% hypo-manic, you know like the equivalent of doing a bunch of meth except i wasn't on meth at all. they were worried i would give myself a heart attack, i had to blow into this little box breathalizer styles and continuously blow to see what my heartrate was anyway before the injection fully kicked in i managed to get one of the restraints unbuckled, i started on the second one but soon passed out. i woke up and was all WTF!?

i remember this one dude showed up in a yellow rain slicker and he was preaching about julia roberts ruining his life and she was stalking him and I BELIEVED IT!

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they took me out of the restraint room and put me with these other fucked up chicks, i think it was lunch time, they brought me some food and this one fat black chick was walking around screaming about how she don't need no jail socks. they give you these little blue ankle socks with grips on the bottom so you don't slip and i was thinking i wanted to keep mine but by the time i was released three days later they were totally dirty. i figured that chick must have been to jail before cos she knew what jail socks were.

i felt a little bit scared and alone like, dude, i'm in a los angeles psych ward, good going moron.