Support for LAist comes from
We Explain L.A.
Stay Connected

Share This


MWM Seeks Terrorists To Not Torture

LAist relies on your reader support, not paywalls.
Freely accessible local news is vital. Please power our reporters and help keep us independent with a donation today.

Where are the bad guys hiding? Where are they? We need to smoke them out of their holes and find them. Oh good news! I found them. They’re in my secret CIA prisons all over the world.

I wonder if George hides his own Easter eggs too and then celebrates when he finds a hollow, chocolate bunny.

The meat of yesterday’s Bush address was that we now have a bunch of top-notch terrorists being moved to Cuba. They hold the keys to impenetrable terrorist networks. We will find out what they’re planning. But we’re not going to torture them.

Support for LAist comes from

Bush then went on to publicly denounce “torture.” And I’m sure that his definition and your definition and my definition and Webster’s definition and the Geneva Convention’s definition are all the same. I mean, our government really only squabbles over definitions when something serious is at stake.

Also, for those of you keeping track of the admin’s mind-control rhetoric campaign, you’ll be happy to know that the President spoke using only the words that Karl and Dick had taught him. Please find the (unverified) speech tally from the mentions in this Presidential installment:

Al Qaeda 1111111111111111111111
Attacks 111111111111111111
Evidence 1
Guantanamo 1111111111111111
Intelligence 11111111111111
Iraq 1
Justice 111111
Operatives 111111111111
Osama Bin Laden 11
Terrorists 1111111111111111111111111111111
9/11 11111111111111

According to these alarming statistics, it looks like “Osama” and “Iraq” are losing street cred in the brand-name war on terror.

It also appears that “Justice” trumps “Evidence.” Interesting.