Support for LAist comes from
Made of L.A.
Stay Connected

Share This

This is an archival story that predates current editorial management.

This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.

News

MWM Seeks Terrorists To Not Torture

Our June member drive is live: protect this resource!
Right now, we need your help during our short June member drive to keep the local news you read here every day going. This has been a challenging year, but with your help, we can get one step closer to closing our budget gap. Today, put a dollar value on the trustworthy reporting you rely on all year long. We can't hold those in power accountable and uplift voices from the community without your partnership.

Where are the bad guys hiding? Where are they? We need to smoke them out of their holes and find them. Oh good news! I found them. They’re in my secret CIA prisons all over the world.

I wonder if George hides his own Easter eggs too and then celebrates when he finds a hollow, chocolate bunny.

The meat of yesterday’s Bush address was that we now have a bunch of top-notch terrorists being moved to Cuba. They hold the keys to impenetrable terrorist networks. We will find out what they’re planning. But we’re not going to torture them.

Support for LAist comes from

Bush then went on to publicly denounce “torture.” And I’m sure that his definition and your definition and my definition and Webster’s definition and the Geneva Convention’s definition are all the same. I mean, our government really only squabbles over definitions when something serious is at stake.

Also, for those of you keeping track of the admin’s mind-control rhetoric campaign, you’ll be happy to know that the President spoke using only the words that Karl and Dick had taught him. Please find the (unverified) speech tally from the mentions in this Presidential installment:

Al Qaeda 1111111111111111111111
Attacks 111111111111111111
Evidence 1
Guantanamo 1111111111111111
Intelligence 11111111111111
Iraq 1
Justice 111111
Operatives 111111111111
Osama Bin Laden 11
Terrorists 1111111111111111111111111111111
9/11 11111111111111

According to these alarming statistics, it looks like “Osama” and “Iraq” are losing street cred in the brand-name war on terror.

It also appears that “Justice” trumps “Evidence.” Interesting.

Most Read