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Mugshot Mania

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Our feet can all breathe a sigh of relief knowing that this one is behind bars! And our eyes can rejoice at what may possibly be the winner of the greatest mugshot ever! The amazing Smoking Gun has done it once again:

SEPTEMBER 11--Meet Carlton Davis. The Minnesota man, 26, is facing felony charges for allegedly stealing a cell phone and purse from a woman he mugged on a St. Paul street early Saturday morning. According to police, after the woman turned over her belongings, Davis announced, "Now I'm going to suck your feet." Which he did, after the 24-year-old victim removed her shoes. Davis, who fled when passersby approached, was apprehended by cops a few blocks from the crime scene. He was booked into the Ramsey County lockup, where [this] mug shot was snapped

It's been awhile since we perused the Smoking Gun. More fantastic mugshots after the jump!

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Of course, you've got to love Larry Craig, who looks like he's posing for his IBM employee badge after being arrested on suspicion of lewd conduct, or as it is known in the criminal vernacular, "footsies".

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This one totally looks like a Calvin Klein ad. Lewis Powell (aka Payne), was one of the men who conspired with John Wilkes Booth to murder President Abraham Lincoln. He does look like he spent a lot of time at the theatre. I can see the advertisers wheels spinning at this very moment. We all love a bad boy.

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And when Andre the Giant was picked up for allegedly roughing up a photographer, his head didn't even fit in the picture!

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And of course, our beloved Tania. Media darling Patty Hearst, still manages to look ever the socialite in spite of her ordeal at the hands of the Symbionese Liberation Army. This mug shot was taken in September 1975 after her arrest on bank robbery and gun charges. She was originally sentenced to seven years in prison, but President Jimmy Carter commuted her sentence and she was released in February 1979.

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Steve McQueen, always cool, proudly manages to slip in the peace sign in his 1972 mugshot taken in Anchorage Alaska. Or maybe that's how many years he expects to get for his drunk driving arrest. Haha, just kidding. Celebrities don't serve time for drunk driving. Not real time.

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And here we have Bill Gates, winner of the least dangerous looking criminal ever. Of course, after a big software monopoly battle, the neighbors always say, "But he was such a nice boy. Always kept to himself."

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And this one is just because I like to gloat. I can't help it. I'm only human. Yes, addiction is a disease. I know. But after all the hypocritical shit he talked about drugs while pouring oxycontin down his throat like M&Ms, we all deserve one big, communal "Ha! Ha!"

And don't forget to pick up The Smoking Gun's latest book, The Dog Dialed 911.