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Lohan Wants to go to Iraq and other Celeb Tales

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"I've been trying to go to Iraq with Hillary Clinton for so long," Local 20 year old Lindsay Lohan told Elle Magazine, People reports. "Hillary was trying to work it out, but it seemed too dangerous." The article also claims that the Mean Girl is practicing her marksmanship at the gun range. Talk about friendly fire.

Living in LA has inspired Madonna to renew her vows with her Guy... in England. Female First has a friend of the Material Girl saying, "They want to show the world how committed they are to each other. Because they've been living in Los Angeles, they've missed spending time in the English countryside with friends and family."

Bored of your lame Bubba Sparxxx ringtone? Now you can get the infamous Mel Gibson jew-hating Malibu tirade on your Razr. Until the cops (or leaks the real audio you'll have to settle for this cheap imitation, but everyone around you at the Starbucks will be sure to crack smiles when your cellphone starts slurring about how our Jewish friends are responsible for all the wars.

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You know times have changed when Hugh Hefner slips away to his bed with a playmate during his infamous Midsummer Night's Ball and people think something is wrong. Somehow, during last weekend's shindig at the mansion, onlookers mistook 80-year old Hef's exeunt as a "stroke". The dapper pajama'ed icon says no need to worry, that he's fine and he was just being a gentleman and left the party to attend to his 25 year old girlfriend who was a little under the weather.

Hef later explained all, "We had a lingerie party Saturday night and I went up a little early because (girlfriend) Holly (Madison) had a cold. I am in very good health."

Paris Hilton
is single, Natalie Portman is a naked ho (on film), and Sienna Miller is single after the jump...