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LA Experiencing Earthquake Lull

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A recent study put out in the September issue of Geology has concluded that the Los Angeles basin is in a 1,000 year seismic “lull”. Meaning the era we are living in has smaller and less frequent earthquakes than the Los Angeles area normally has. (Normal referring to the average for the last 12,000 years)

Now my first reaction is to say, what? Lull?

This certainly doesn’t seem like a lull period to me, and I have only been in the city for 4 years now. I missed out on the 'ol Northridge rumbler of 1994. In fact just a few weeks ago I was in my new apartment, which just so happens to be on the top floor, when everything in my room suddenly jumped. I ran to the doorway but much to my chagrin, it was already too late… the earthquake had stopped. ‘Dammit’, I said to myself, ‘had this been a real emergency I would be dead, or at the very least, partially injured, uncomfortable and dehydrated.’ I went to bed very sad that night, thinking about my utterly shameful performance during the tremor.

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Now my second reaction to the study in Geology, is to say, Holy Fuckin’ Shit! If this is a lull period then what is an extreme period like? Thanks, but no thanks; I don’t want to be around for that.

Now I don’t know exactly how many quakes would make up this extreme period, 1 big one a year? 2 big ones? 1 big one a month? Regardless, I do expect the city to come crashing down. Buildings will fall, riots will break out, Chihuahuas will no longer live in purses and traffic will only get worse. In short, all hell will break loose.

However I have faith, that shortly after the city meets Armageddon, the prophecy, created in 1995, will be fulfilled! 2 Pac and Dr. Dre will rise up, and fight the evil George Clinton and his desert thugs in the post-apocalyptic world. Are you ready California?

Needless to say, in a period of intense earthquakes, the shit will really, really hit the fan. We don't know exactly if, or when the "lull" period will end, but I'm not in favor of being caught unprepared. Thus, I have already concocted an infallible emergency escape plan, for when it all goes down. It took me many long sleepless nights and many bottles of homebrewed whiskey but it has all paid off and I have figured out exactly where to go and how to survive. First of all, I...

No on second thought, at the risk of overly shortening my entry, I'm not going to tell you.

I will say this though, if you are going to survive when the Earthquake Threat Advisory goes from blue (guarded) to red (severe), then you are definitely going to need to plan things out beforehand and remember these two essential items: socks (for your feet) and a white towel (for hitchhiking). See you at Armageddon LA!

Photo by R. Duran via Flickr