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How Do You Make Cocaine?

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Dear LAist,

Recently I ruined, uh, retired from my career. I am looking to go into a new line of work, namely the production and distribution of cocaine.

Can you help?

Kramer.

Dear Mr. Kramer,

Producing cocaine is a tricky feat involving lots of chemicals and hard-to-get ingredients. Not only is it illegal but it's sorta immoral.

If you want to destroy lives while turning a huge profit, have you considered being a tobacco lobbyist? Much better job security there.