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"Curled eyelashes are a very professional look."

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"Welcome to My Home." Written, directed, produced, and starring Brenda Dickson. Part I...

...and Part II.

Last Autumn I ate so much Halloween candy, Thanksgiving Tofurkey, and Happy Birthday Jesus grocery store sheet cake that I gained five pounds in two months. This year I'm determined not to let that happen again, so I have decided to start a preemptive diet and exercise plan right now before the holiday fattening season is in full swing. Choosing a holiday wellness plan is a very personal matter. I considered trying the Atkins Diet, but I don't like meat; I considered trying the South Beach Diet, but I don't like Florida; and I even considered devising my own ancient Rome style vomitorium and orgy diet and exercise plan (which I still may do if all else fails). But, finally, I have decided to try this Brenda Dickson "Welcome to My Home" lifestyle guide because it's not just a diet and exercise's a complete glamour plan! And there are no expensive meal plans or exercise machines to buy -- just a few very dramatic golden gowns, a self-portrait made by air-brush, a sash made out of a carcass, some pink and orange rouges, and a lavender sweatband.

What? You still haven't had enough Brenda? Why you little sadistic self-loather, you. Well. I suppose I can indulge you just this once. Here is the link to Ms. B. Dickson's official site.