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TV Junkie: Your Guide to Tonight's Premieres

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Tonight is a big night of premieres for the major networks and the late night schedule is hopping too. Come with us as we attempt to navigate this mess:

"Chuck" (NBC) 8:00pm - OK, it's not the debut of a new series but we've got to check out their season premiere featuring both Linda Hamilton _and_ Dolph Lundgren. That wins out over House and Cuddy pussy-footing around.

"Lone Star" (Fox) 9:00pm - James Wolk stars as Robert Allen, the con man with 2 lives in Texas. Shot authentically in Fort Worth and Dallas, the series also stars the incredibly capable Jon Voight and David Keith. "Robert"/"Bob" is an antihero, but in the 2 preview episodes we saw, we just couldn't care enough about him. Maybe we would start caring after the 3rd episode ....?

"The Event" (NBC) 9:00pm - See our video clip above with series creator Nick Wauters and star Zeljko Ivanek, and below with co-star Scott Patterson. First off, has Zeljko Ivanek done one bad minute of TV ever (let's not even get into his stage awards)? He's untouchable. "The Event" intrigues us because we know next to nothing about it other than we like the cast and the teasers we've seen look brilliant. The question is whether or not viewers will want to tune into another skulduggery-based program. AMC's "Rubicon" isn't doing so hot but can the cast and high-production turn this sentiment around?

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"Mike & Molly" (CBS) 9:30pm - See the Katy Mixon clip at the bottom of the post. Yeah, we talk about "Eastbound & Down", which we don't think that Mixon will be coming back to after the premiere, mainly in order to do "Mike & Molly". At the unveiling of the show at the Summer TCAs, we were told that this isn't a show "about fat people", yet the preview clips they showed us were nothing but fat jokes. The shame was that the very funny star of the show, Billy Gardell, riffed away with enough jokes onstage that could have powered a much better program. The supporting cast includes the aforementioned Katy Mixon and Swoozie Kurtz who are unfortunately underutilized. Be our guest if you want a 1/2 hour of fat jokes every week.

"Hawaii Five-0" (CBS) 10:00pm - We talked to series star Scott Caan at the TCAs (see below). This show is shot like an action movie and it delivers! The pilot episode is pretty exciting (the opening scenes are remarkable) as is the follow up episode. We're reminded of the catchphrase-driven action TV series era of the mid-1980s ("Miami Vice", "The A-Team", etc.) but with slicker production values and better dialogue. Sure, we eagerly waited to hear "Book 'em, Danno", and it wasn't too horrible when it happened and we still wanted to see more. Enjoy for now, we have no idea it will look like 10 episodes into it.

"Chase" (NBC) 10:00pm - Wasn't a TV adaptation of The Fugitive already attempted? Why are we doing this again?

Late night is extremely crowded as well, check it out: we've got former Presidents Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton on "The Daily Show" and Letterman respectively, we've got current president of Iran Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Charlie Rose, and music-wise we've got Pavement on Colbert, Chromeo on Letterman (we saw them at the Vancouver Olympics and they kicked butt!), and Superchunkn on Fallon. Our thumbs will be getting tired as we hop from network to network.
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The TV Junkie Plan: "Chuck", "The Event", "Hawaii Five-0", "The Daily Show" (Jimmy Carter), "The Colbert Report" (Pavement), Letterman (Bill Clinton, Chromeo), Fallon (Julianna Margulies, Cory Monteith, Superchunk)

8:00pm Dancing with the Stars ABC - Season Premiere.

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8:00pm 90210 The CW - Naomi discovers she can access money in her trust fund; the Honey Brothers perform a few songs; Dixon, Navid and Liam take Oscar for a night on the town.

8:00pm House Fox - Season Premiere. House and Cuddy explore the ramifications of their feelings for each other; a colleague's illness leaves the hospital without a neurosurgeon on site.

8:00pm Chuck NBC - Season Premiere. Chuck and Morgan search the globe for Chuck's mother (Linda Hamilton); Casey and Sarah track an operative (Dolph Lundgren) of the mysterious Volkoff Industries; Ellie shares big news.

8:00pm How I Met Your Mother CBS - Season Premiere. Ted runs into an ex-girlfriend (Rachel Bilson); Robin is upset over Don; Marshall can't stop talking about his desire to start a family.

8:30pm Rules of Engagement CBS - Season Premiere. Jeff and Audrey get surprising news about their surrogate.

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9:00pm Lone Star Fox - Series Premiere. Robert Allen is a charismatic schemer who has constructed two lives in different parts of Texas; he aims to clean out a family business in one of his lives.

9:00pm Top Gear BBC America - BMW 1 Series hatchback; a 25-year-old Mercedes G-Wagen German army halftrack; Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine.

9:00pm The Event NBC - Series Premiere. After his girlfriend mysteriously disappears from a cruise, Sean Walker discovers a conspiracy of global proportions.

9:00pm Gossip Girl The CW - Lily asks Serena to help her find Chuck; Juliet offers to help Nate win Serena back.

9:00pm Two and a Half Men CBS - Season Premiere. Jake goes to live with Judith and Herb after learning that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom; Charlie decides to cut back on his drinking.

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9:30pm Mike & Molly CBS - Series Premiere. Teacher Molly Flynn invites officer Mike Biggs to speak to her fourth-grade class after becoming smitten with him at an Overeaters' Anonymous meeting.

9:55pm Hawaii Five-0 CBS - Series Premiere. Steve McGarret, a decorated Naval officer, returns to Hawaii to investigate his father's murder and is asked to head up an elite police task force.

10:00pm Weeds Showtime - A parking violation forces the family to flee again; Silas' plans are ruined; Doug is taken hostage.

10:00pm Castle ABC - Season Premiere. When Beckett and her team burst into an apartment on a murderer's trail, they see Castle standing over a dead woman's body holding a gun; Beckett arrests Castle as he asserts his innocence.

10:00pm Chase NBC - Series Premiere. A team of U.S. Marshals led by Annie Frost searches for dangerous fugitive Mason Boyle.

10:30pm The Big C Showtime - Cathy tries to feel sexier by meeting someone new; Adam is caught watching pornography; Paul is injured; Sean fights for his building

11:00pm The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Comedy Central - Former President Jimmy Carter

11:00pm Lopez Tonight TBS - Actor Eric Dane; actress Cloris Leachman; Daughtry performs.

11:00pm Chelsea Lately E! - Author Meghan McCain.

11:30pm Charlie Rose PBS/KCET - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of the Islamic Republic of Iran.

11:30pm The Colbert Report Comedy Central - Musical guest Pavement.

11:35pm Late Show With David Letterman CBS - Former President Bill Clinton; Chromeo performs.

11:35pm The Tonight Show With Jay Leno NBC - Actor Justin Timberlake; actress Jane Lynch; OK Go performs.

12:05am Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC - Actress Courteney Cox; choreographer Bruno Tonioli; Phoenix performs.

12:35am The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson CBS - Actress Mindy Kaling; journalist Steve Hartman.

12:35am Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC - Actress Julianna Margulies; actor Cory Monteith; Superchunk performs.

Scott Patterson discusses NBC's "The Event":

Scott Caan discusses CBS' "Hawaii Five-0":

Katy Mixon discusses HBO's "Eastbound & Down":

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What the hell is "The Event"? We don't know but we're watching tonight to find out. Not that we'll find out anytime soon.