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Arts and Entertainment

Transformers Review from a Hardcore Fan

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You've already gotten the honest mixed reviews of Transformers from Peggy and Robert, but here comes the biased review of a kid who spent his childhood getting smacked around by his mother after begging for these plastic little toy robots on a daily basis.

You see, older generations were raised with good old-fashioned family values -- while my generation was taught about the forces of good and evil from a talking robot army sent to the earth from Cybertron. Saturday morning cartoons were more or less the patriarchs of the dual-income family generation. Basically, Optimus Prime was like a proxy mother minus the tits.

Big shiny robots beating the crap out of each other and frequent body shots of Megan Fox -- how can you fuck with this formula?

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*Mild spoilers after the jump*

Although a lot of the voice acting is different, most of the characters stay true to the two original series (Gen1 and Gen2). Agent Smith doesn't make a bad Megatron -- even though his face looks like a mechanical vagina, you get the sense that he is the leader of the Decepticons when his eyes glow bright red anyway. At the point where Prime calls Megatron out for a final showdown, most nerds in the room were highly aroused.

Shia Labouef is the most annoying character possible in the beginning of this movie. Between him and Owen Wilson, I am not sure who is more unfunny. If he annoys you like he does me, then don't worry because the constant explosions drown out his voice for the rest of the film.

There are explosions aplenty in this movie. It looks and feels like a Michael Bay film in every way. Most people are split on whether this is a good or bad thing but try to take it for what it is. Although Bay has made heavy modifications to the look of the Transformers, their interactions with each other and with humans is true to the original story. In fact, Bay's version adds an element of emotion that exceeds the level of the original storytelling, which makes the movie better. This element helps the idea of talking alien robots cross over to live action and ties fantasy with reality together in the most genuine way possible.