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The Dodgers, Clayton Kershaw and Gerardo Parra's Penis

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From Southern California to Arizona, an odd celestial light was seen in the heavens. Perhaps this strange phenomenon is what caused the sixth inning outburst in the Dodgers’ 3-2 win over the Arizona Diamondbacks.

This was a remnant from the seventh inning of Tuesday night’s game when D-back’s left fielder Gerardo Parra feeling disrespected by Dodgers’ reliever Hong-Chih Kuo when a pitch buzzed close to his head and hit the backstop. The Dodgers held on to a slim 4-3 lead against a team who had 43 come-from-behind wins. Nevertheless Parra grabbed at his crotch and pointed to Kuo who seemed oblivious to Parra’s gestures while preparing for his next pitch. Evidently the rest of the Dodgers did notice the gesture.

Parra then hit a homer, admired it for a moment and ran around the bases. Clayton Kershaw from the Dodgers’ third-base dugout initiated some discourse with Parra as he was trotting home. Both benches were warned, and life went on. The D-backs pulled out the game 5-4 in the tenth inning.

Which brings us to this game.

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With Kershaw in the Cy Young hunt going for his 19th win of the season, it would appear to be asinine for any retaliation to occur. Before the game Mattingly talked about the situation rather begrudgingly.

“You see it all the time. It gets emotional out there. You’re in a tight game, and you’re trying to win the game.

“For the most part you don’t see too much carry over.”

After the game Mattingly confirmed that MLB VP of Baseball Operations and former Dodger manager Joe Torre called to say that MLB was keeping watch of this game. “But there was no official warning.”

The umpire crew chief Tim Tschida confirmed there were no warnings issued before the game.

The issue appeared dead during Parra’s first at-bat in the third inning. After fouling off pitch after pitch, Parra hit a double on a fastball away.

In Parra’s second at-bat in the sixth inning, Kershaw started Parra in for the first strike. The second fastball was even further inside the plate hitting Parra on the arm. Without a warning or hesitation, home plate umpire Bill Welke ran Kershaw out of the game.

“It was left over from last night,” Tschida said who was umpiring at first base in this game. “It was intentional.”

“The first at-bat I threw him all away, and he got a double,” Kershaw said. “The next at-bat I’ve got to pitch him in.

“It’s unfortunate that the umpire… It’s just unfortunate. It’s too strict. Bill’s just back there trying to make sure everything’s okay. I understand that he has a job to do. But at the same time pay attention to the game and understand what’s going on a little bit better.”

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Mattingly ran out and also had some animated discourse with Welke.

“I didn’t really care if he was listening or not,” Mattingly said. “There was no official warning as far as you’re not allowed to throw inside. If you’re going to do that, you might as well tell them you’re going to pitch away.”

Tschida however stuck to Welke’s call. In response to the Dodgers’ view that it was merely an inside pitch gone wrong, Tschida responded, “It’s always that view.”

The crowd of 29,799 made known their disagreement with that sentiment - they even erupted in cheers when Welke was hit by a foul-tip.

All of this can be boiled down to one event: Gerardo Parra grabbing his penis. It just seems like these ballplayers are overly sensitive to the point that any perceived slight is a complete threat of their manhood. As ridiculous as that sentence sounds, watching these events unfold the last couple of nights have been equally ridiculous.

Fortunately for the Dodgers the bullpen picked up right where Kershaw left off. Josh Lindblom pitched the remainder of the sixth and seventh innings and struck out five - as many as Kershaw struck out through five innings of work. Although Nathan Eovaldi and Kenley Jansen gave up a run each in the eighth and ninth innings, the dodgers scored a fortuitous insurance run in the eighth.

So despite Kershaw’s ejection, he got his 19th win of the season. He lowered his ERA to 2.30 which tops the National League. Gerardo Parra (and his penis) has now become the biggest villain this side of Shane Victorino. And we still don’t know what that light in the sky was that was seen from Los Angeles to Arizona. Where Mulder and Scully when you need them?

LA Angels defeat Oakland Athletics 4-1. It’s difficult to say that a starting pitcher had an off day going seven innings giving up a run on six hits and two walks. But Jered Weaver did have to work his way out of some tough spots: a bases-loaded situation in the first inning and giving up five of those six hits in the first three innings.

The Angels finally rallied in the sixth inning thanks to Bobby Abreu’s RBI double that tied the game and a slumping Mark Trumbo’s two-run homer off of A’s starter Rich Harden to get the lead for good.

Unfortunately for the Angels, the Rangers beat the Cleveland Indians 9-1 maintaining their three-game lead in front of the Halos.


Pittsburgh Pirates at LA Dodgers. 7:10 p.m. FS Prime Ticket, AM 790 KABC.