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Superman Shouldn't Have Returned

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There's nothing worse than a bad movie. There's nothing worse than wasting the beauty of Kate Bosworth, the asshole just below the surface in Kevin Spacey, or the wide range of possibilities of the Superman universe.

The plot of "Superman Returns" is hopeless, some of the special effects are good, one is very good, but most are worthless. The acting is stiff and phony, there's no chemistry between anyone. Parker Posey is also wasted. The film is a sleepwalk and the two and a half hours makes you wish for Superman to die and be over with it.

You leave wondering "why did he come back?" You wonder if it was a parody of superhero movies. You wonder why on Earth would anyone try to remake "Dick Tracy".

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A guy dressed up as Superman will tear your ticket at Los Feliz's Vista, and tells LAist that he will be costumed as Johnny Depp next week when Pirates kicks the man of steel to the curb. Easily the worst big budget superhero movie ever.

We wanted to walk out but it was still hot outside.