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My Letter to the Dodgers

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Dear Dodgers,

What happened to you? I know at the beginning of the season I didn’t expect you to be a power team. I know you are leading the division right now. But it’s still way early in the season and this is starting to get ridiculous.

In the series against the D-Backs you guys stranded a total of 32 men on base, and in the first game against Atlanta y’all left another 10 without even scoring a run. How do you expect to be a threat (much less win games) against opposing teams?

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I really think you should put Wilson Betemit on waivers and finally bring up James Loney. It’s been five weeks, and Betemit is still hitting only .125. In the 56 at-bats he’s had in 23 games he’s only managed a meager seven hits. I know in baseball patience is a virtue, but I think five weeks is long enough.

Another thing I hate to keep nagging about is the outfield defense. Watching The Useless One diving too early for a bloop hit and having it go over his glove was a bit embarrassing. And seeing runners constantly creating an outfield single into a standing double makes me cringe. Something needs to be done.

But I'll commend you on the pitching. With the exception of a couple of games, your pitchers have kept the team in the game. I always have the hope that a single, sacrifice, outfield hit, walk will lead the team to victory.

I know I haven't shown my typical bit of enthusiasm this past week or so, but I'm in the middle of a stressful move. My time has been spent cleaning, boxing, unpacking, washing and discussing kitty custody. Plus my real life job has been uber stressful and busy as of late.

But once this month passes I will be watching you closer than a mother caring for her autistic child. As with you I want to see another World Series banner hung at Dodger Stadium, the best stadium in all the majors. It's now time to get serious.

Sincerely,

Jimmy

PS. Can I please interview My Boyfriend? I promise not to molest him (unless he asks). Merci beaucoup!

PPS. Did you see that Dallas-Golden State series? What a doozy!

PPPS. I think Grady Little read my mind. Can I say, "Whoa"?

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AP Photo by Francis Specker