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Let's Go Bowling

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The Dodgers have a certain way of making me look like a complete asshole. Just when I proclaim that it would take a miracle for the Dodgers to make the postseason, the offense explodes as if some saintly being was guiding them in the outfield. You know, they should make a movie about that.

Against the Phillies on Wednesday the Dodgers scored 15 runs in an obvious show of laziness since a horrible Texas Rangers team put up 30 runs on the Baltimore Orioles the same day.

Thursday afternoon saw the Dodgers become even more apathetic with a mere five runs scored. It’s by the grace of Shiva they were able to win both games.

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As of Thursday evening they are still 2 ½ games out of the wild card lead, however with the Atlanta Braves tanking they only have the Padres and Phillies to overcome.

Since it’s been obvious the Dodgers are not quite comfortable winning, they go and sabotage everything.

A couple of weeks ago, I jokingly wrote since Grady Little was sending Mark Hendrickson to the bullpen the Dodgers would get David Wells off of the waiver wires to try and solve their pitching woes.

Ned Colletti, I WAS ONLY JOKING!

Look at this. Wells has a 5.54 ERA with a WHIP (walks and hits per innings pitched) of 1.59. Brett Tomko has a 5.80 ERA with a 1.60 WHIP.

So congratulations. We just got a pitcher who is on the same level of Tomko. The only difference is Wells is a lefty, old and shaped like a bowling ball. The only question is if the Dodgers will get any strikes from this.

This is why this year's Dodgers are very frustrating to follow. Are they completely out of it or do they have a chance? Each time I make my mind they prove me wrong.

So what the hell do I know? With my great track record of predictions Wells will probably break Orel Hershiser's shut-out innings streak, the Dodgers win the World Series and I get stuck bowling without a strike.

AP Photo by Tom Gannam and mutilated by my cat