10 Irreverent, Boozy And Sexy Christmas Events For People Who Normally Hate The Holiday
Do you find yourself missing Halloween as the world erupts with cheer around you, gritting your teeth through the grocery store as the speakers play "I'll Be Home For Christmas" again? Would you rather your gay apparel be all black? Do you think Christmas would be better if it were drunker, seedier or NC-17? If so, here are some not so merry events happening in Los Angeles that should help get you through to the New Year.
The least creepy image from Heretic's XPERIMENTS (Photo via Facebook)
Heretic Haunted House's XPERIMENTSIf you find yourself joking that you'd rather be tortured than see your family members, this event will enable you to put your money where your mouth is. Heretic House has one of the most extreme haunted house experiences around, and they're not tied to Halloween. Those who participate are dragged through dark corridors, entirely alone, and left at the mercy of a skilled team of actors. "The past shows we have done consisted of a paranormal torture session where entities were moving people around in the dark," an organizer by the name of Mike told us. You can call tell yourself it's all pretend, but the immersive and horrific experience is not one for the faint of heart or those who dislike being startled or touched. This is a full-contact haunted house that will feature a very special installment on Christmas Day. As for what to expect, plan on being both "cerebrally" and physically challenged, we're advised. Beyond that, that's all we know.
The location and times are kept secret. To RSVP, visit the group's Facebook page here and follow the instructions given.
Two Krampuses at the Krampus Ball (Photo by Juliet Bennett Rylah/LAist)
Get In The Krampus SpiritIf you grew up celebrating a Germanic Christmas, then you know that you can't have St. Nicholas without the Krampus. While St. Nick will reward the good children, the Krampus is a demon who beats bad children with switches before dragging them to Hell. The Los Angeles Krampus Society, helmed by former Disney Imagineer and current Krampus-enthusiast Al Krampus Guerrero, likes to get in the spirit of the Krampus with their annual ball (which happened last week), and other holiday events.
On December 13, you can treat yourself to one of two shows, each consisting of a double feature with a Krampus play and a Krampus film housed in a historic, Gothic Revival church. From the event: "Our Los Angeles production combines only the most attractive and amusing scenes involving the Krampus, Lucifer, butchered children and the inexorable power of Death, all represented in bouncy rhyme. Whether speaking of eternal salvation or the merciless tortures of Hell, the dialogue of the Nikolausspiel is inevitably delivered in cheery couplets worthy of Dr. Seuss." Artist Kimric Smythe’s will be providing a Krampus-driven Steamcar. Guerro told LAist he was especially excited to also have some international guests from Austria this year, the home of Krampus himself.
You can also check out Krammpstein, a Krampus-themed Rammstein cover band, with special guest Marilyn Krampson (we assume that's a Krampus-themed Marilyn Manson cover band) at The Complex in Glendale on December 20. Tickets here.
You'll also be able to catch a Krampus or two (including those international guests!) during the Echo Park Holiday Parade on Saturday morning. That's your other chance to view that steamcar.
Want even more Krampus? There's an unrelated Krampus and winter ritual BBQ in Griffith Park on Sunday from noon to 7 p.m. Info here.
(Photo via Vanessa Burgundy)
Weirdo Wonderland: A John Waters TributeIf you happened to miss the touring John Waters Christmas special, you can still raise a glass, draw on a pencil mustache and get weird.
This tribute to legendary filmmaker John Waters rings in holiday cheer with just the right amount of filth. Hosted at Hollywood's Dragonfly, the night will be emceed by drag queen Bobbi DeCarlo and her lounge act, The Starlites. Organizer Vanessa Burgundy says there will be burlesque, trashy tree-trimming (bring your unmentionables to help decorate), a costume contest, pie-eating, DJs, photo opps and a Bizarre Bazaar with quirky holiday gifts for the eccentrics on your list—pasties, vintage kitsch, homemade wares. And Los Angeles icon Angelyne will be there, raffling off a chance to ride in her new pink Corvette. The proceeds for this event will benefit Children of the Night, a nonprofit that works to rescue children who are being trafficked.