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College Football Schedule Week 9: Senators Need Not Apply

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Sometimes I have to bow down to the altar of Congress. After all they are the selected elite that dictates the direction this country goes. They make me proud to be an American, and nothing makes me as proud as what has gone down between the Democratic Senator from West Virginia Joe Manchin and the Republican Senator from Kentucky Mitch McConnell.

After having their conference pillaged by the Pac-10, Big Ten and SEC over the last two years, the Big 12 was looking to pillage other conferences to try and keep the valuable BCS and television money. After the defection of Texas A&M to the SEC, the Big 12 smartly invited Texas Christian University from the Big East (even though they are currently playing in the Mountain West.)

Now that it seems inevitable that Missouri is also bailing for the SEC, the Big 12 was set on inviting West Virginia to the conference from the Big East. Of course I’m overlooking the geographic absurdity of this arrangement and how this doesn’t really open a big television market for the Big 12. Instead it could further dilute the talent in the conference since West Virginia will now be able to raid the talent hotbed of Texas.

But that’s beside the point. Here’s where we get to the glory of our lawmakers.

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It seems like Senate Minority Leader McConnell wanted to lobby on behalf of his alma mater the University of Louisville (Class of 1964) to join the Big 12. Once Senator Manchin (West Virginia Class of 1970) caught wind of this, he apparently went on a tizzy fit threatening to hold a Senate hearing if McConnell was successful.

From all reports McConnell wasn’t successful and all illogical moves will be made unmolested.

I know Senators think they do a good job. Only they can look in the face of this economic crisis and think they should continue to have a job. They lie and swindle their way to make sure nothing happens to benefit anyone. Oh wait sorry about that. Corporations are people too now according to the Supreme Court.

Nonetheless for as great a job as they do fucking this country up, why do they now want to stick their noses in sports?

I have one suggestion for them: Get. The. Fuck. Out. No one wants nor needs your help.

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True the college sports landscape is nowhere near perfect. There are no playoffs in the Football Bowl Subdivision. College basketball is only watchable during conference tournaments and March Madness. The scandals of boosters and payments to athletes are escalating. There is no such thing as conference loyalty. Things look pretty shitty.

It will only get shittier if we let these politicians in. Imagine the NBA lockout happening for decades at a time. That’s what these lawmakers have done to our country. What is to say they won’t do that to sports?

And before people get their tampons twisted, I’m blaming both parties equally. Just have the politicians stay away and leave us with our imperfections.

Meanwhile here’s the schedule.

Arkansas at Vanderbilt. 9:00 a.m. KDOC.
Missouri at Texas A&M. 9:00 a.m. FX.
North Carolina State at Florida State. 9:00 a.m. ESPNU.
Michigan State at Nebraska. 9:00 a.m. ESPN.
Purdue at Michigan. 9:00 a.m. ESPN2.
Albany at Wagner. 9:00 a.m. Fox College Sports Pacific.
Lehigh at Colgate. 9:00 a.m. CBS Sports Net.
Virginia Tech at Duke. 9:30 a.m. KCOP.
California (PA) at Indiana (PA). 10:00 a.m. Fox College Sports Atlantic.

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Washington State at Oregon. Noon FS Prime Ticket.
Florida at Georgia. 12:30 p.m. CBS.
Navy at Notre Dame. 12:30 p.m. NBC.
Baylor at Oklahoma State. 12:30 p.m. ABC.
SMU at Tulsa. 12:30 p.m. FSWest.
Wake Forest at North Carolina. 12:30 p.m. ESPNU.
Oklahoma at Kansas State. 12:30 p.m. ESPN.
Illinois at Penn State. 12:30 p.m. ESPN2.
Fordham at Army. 12:30 p.m. CBS Sports Net.
Northern Iowa at North Dakota State. 1:00 p.m. Fox College Sports Central.

Dartmouth at Harvard. 3:00 p.m. Fox College Sports Atlantic.
Colorado at Arizona State. 3:30 p.m. Fox College Sports Pacific.

California at UCLA. 4:00 p.m. FS Prime Ticket.
Mississippi at Auburn. 4:00 p.m. ESPNU.
South Carolina at Tennessee. 4:15 p.m. ESPN2.
Stanford at USC. 5:00 p.m. ABC.
Wisconsin at Ohio State. 5:00 p.m. ESPN.
Southern Mississippi at UTEP. 5:00 p.m. CBS Sports Net.

Arizona at Washington. 7:30 p.m. FS Prime Ticket.