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People just can't handle watching Fifty Shades of Grey in public: whether it's uncontrollable pooping, masturbating or boning, this movie seems to just turn people into raging maniacs. They go to a movie about whips and chains; they leave the theatre in handcuffs.
Not everyone is affected by the saucy film based on the novel based on Twilight fan-fic. Some are immune to its devious charms and are able to contain themselves in the movie theatre or, better yet, avoid the movie entirely. Others, however, are moved to lurid displays of wanton lust and carnality.
For instance, a couple went to the Erotic Heritage Museum in Las Vegas for a Fifty Shades event celebrating the joys of BDSM on Valentine's Day, TMZ reports. Surveillance cameras caught the couple losing their clothes in flagrante delicto throughout the museum. When employees finally catch on to their shenanigans, the couple flees out a back door. Notably, the woman does not pull her leopard-print dress back up over her breasts first. Yolo.
In Sinaloa, Mexico, a 33-year-old woman was arrested for masturbating during a showing of the film. There are also reports of mysterious cucumbers left in theaters (think about that for a hot second), but those reports seem mostly unsubstantiated.
But not everyone is affected by the film's mental parasite in the same way. One woman attending a screening in Milton Keynes, England had a much more visceral reaction, Vice reports. She began uncontrollably vomiting and defecating to such an extent that the entire theatre had to be evacuated. Later reports indicated that she may have also just been really, really drunk.
In Glasgow, a man who asked three women who were talking loudly to control themselves was hit in the face with a bottle.
So, please, control yourselves. We've got two more movies before this trilogy is complete.
