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Bend It Like Who?

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Yesterday marked David Beckham’s last day as a respectable European footballer before he makes his move to the Los Angeles Galaxy. Given the high caliber of the European soccer teams as compared to the naïve American Major League Soccer (MLS), this last game is surely the beginning of the end for the legendary Beckham. He is now doomed to a life of over-done, over-rated, Hollywood middle-brow trashiness. The poor man has already begun to hang out with the likes of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. I’ll spare you the details of his last game as a Real Madrid mid-fielder and talk about someone far more interesting: sportscaster Ray Hudson.

Having retired from coaching for the MLS, Hudson is now a commentator for soccer-only cable network Gol TV. Those who have already heard and ontologically succumbed to his ad-lib genius are well aware of Hudson’s dynamic talent as a real-time narrator. Part of his allure lies within his full-bodied, booming voice and the ease with which he unpretentiously references art, history, literature, and mythology.

Hudson is often emotionally engaged in the game he is commenting on, eloquently and passionately describing the unseen poetry to be found in the “beautiful game.” Yet it is his un-clichéd banter which is most endearing to listeners. Hudson’s commentary is immensely funny, but he melodramatically delivers his material with a sense of serious agitation, completely unaware of the impact of his wit.

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After the jump, some Ray Hudson lines from yesterdays Real Madrid vs. Real Mallorca match: