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Barbie and the Anti-Ken at the Clippers

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So after their win at Staples last night, the Los Angeles Clippers play for all the marbles on Monday night in Phoenix. This LAist poster was lucky enough to wade in the sea of 20,000 red Clippers shirts last night, about 50 feet behind one of the baskets. (A shout out to the in-laws for scoring those!) We’ve never seen or heard Staples that electrified before – especially for the Clippers – and we’re only all too happy to hop on the Elton Brandwagon.

But with these really good seats came some really outrageous behavior, and thus begins the “rant” part of this post. Sitting in front of us were a bleached-blonde couple. While she was a relatively good-looking Barbie, he was definitely no Ken. He was a little older, a big guy with a Dee Snider hairdo.

But we learned a lot from this particular couple about how to not behave at playoff basketball games and piss off your entire section. Here’s a list of their offenses, so take notes:

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1. A deciding playoff game is not the place to make out. Dude, we had trouble seeing beyond your mullet, and if you close the gap between seats by making out, we’re forced to watch the game on the big screen above.
2. A game six is no place to adjust your makeup. Rather than watching the action, Barbie spent more time preening with her little compact.
3. If no one else is standing, please sit down. The anti-Ken spent most of his time on his cell phone trying to see if he could find his friends in other seats. A few times standing up, turning around and saying “Dude, wave, where are you?” Of course Barbie had to stand up, too.
4. When asked by your section to sit down, please do so. The “dude we’re bringing them luck by standing response” doesn’t really cut it.

and finally:

5. A playoff game is not the place to stand up and stick your hand down your date’s ass. Since we were sitting down, and they, of course were standing up, we had a great view of Barbie sticking her hand down her man’s pants, grabbing some cheek love.