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American Idol: Opening the Wrong Doors in San Antonio

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San Antonio was the last stop on the American Idol audition tour last night, and LAist is glad that this phase of the show is over - and the cattiness of the Hollywood auditions begins next week. After awhile, all the weirdos start to blend together -- like Bryan who screamed "Rebel Yell" to start the show. Although our ears were blistering, we paid more attention to his ugly camouflage pants and Ryan Seacrest's huge mouth that annunciates every_single_word. (And on another note, why must Cheesecrest throw in his radio line, "You know I love you"? It's different when he says it to a KIIS-FM listening, gum-chewing teenage girl than a big beefy guy in camouflage.) Though we never thought we'd say this, we'd rather have "Seacrest out" back than a whole season of "You know I love yous.")

The AI folks were probably getting bored as well because they dedicated a good chunk of the show to filler about contestants exiting through the wrong door. Maybe it was an inside joke, but it didn't translate well. Exit, stage right...

Other lowlights of the evening included: the shy girl who couldn't sing, but chastised the judges for being rude because they were laughing at her. Even her mama was pissed and said that Simon needs to go back to France because he's not American and shouldn't be judging American Idol. But it was William Green (above) who gave us the biggest chuckle with his s-l-o-w rendition of "Amazing Grace." He sounded like Shaq would after smoking a big fatty.