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American Idol: All Night Long in the Big Apple
NYC did not disappoint us in last night's American Idol. The cup runneth over with the number of contestants to fly their freak flags high, which made for an entertaining two hours. While the other audition cities had their share of weirdos, the Big Apple had plenty of FWAs - freaks with attitude - East Coast style.
The show opened with Ryan Adams' "New York, New York" being used under Ryan Seacrest's opening travelogue (and we wonder how the eccentric artiste really felt about that). Then we were introduced to guest judge
Joan Collins Carole Bayer Sager, singer/songwriter who partnered with Burt Bacharach to create many a hit in their day.
The theme for the night's show was melodrama. With a capital M. It started with the first contestant Ian Benardo, whose friends, family and two therapists think he's a superstar. He wore a chinchilla stole and was an absolute pill -- but he'll be staying in NYC. Thank god. Next up was Sarah Burgess, a small town Ohio girl whose parents didn't know she was there. Plenty of tears flowed as she explained to Ryan, the judges and, well, America, how she's always disappointed her father, and how he didn't really understand her. The judges helped stick it to her father and gave her the golden ticket to Hollywood.
The drama came fast and furious in New York. Ashanti Johnson, who made it to Hollywood twice with AI, was trying out a third time. When the judges said no, she launched into a monologue worthy of an off-broadway production - or at least Days of Our Lives. We kid you not when we say she used the phrases: "depths of my soul" and "If America would see me, they would love me."
Hot Jersey girls and BFFs Amanda and Antonella both made it through to Hollywood, and we're sure that they will, like, fit in so well here. But really, we're not sure how long they'll be BFFs once they hit town. Antoinella the untrained singer was so much better than her pal.
Then, of course, was the usual Do-dah parade/montage done to Lionel Richie's "All Night Long..."
And all this happened on Day 1...
Simon had a hangover for Day 2, so he left Paula, Randy and Carole to fend for themselves until mid-day.
First up was hottie Jenry Bejarano, who Paula was practically drooling over. Then we found out that he's only 16, and that kind of turned our stomachs. (Hasn't Paula learned her lesson from the Cory scandal?) She also fawned over crooner Nicholas, who bowed out of the competition on national TV last year after forgetting to memorize the words to "Buttercup." But at least he's of age.
Other contestants in serious need of Prozac on Day 2 included Sara Goldberg, who admitted she wasn't a singer, but wanted to be the first AI that's never sung before. She was in tears, and had a hint of crazy going on in the eyes. There was also a 47-year-old guy who came into sing "New Yor, New Yor" for the judges and Christopher Henry, the Simon lookalike with sculpted eyebrows. He sang a Kelly Clarkson song and sounded like a girl, to which Simon advised him to sing in a dress and stilettos. And finally, the show ended with Isadora Furman, who sang "Lady Marmalade" like she was either on LSD or having an orgasm. We couldn't tell. But it left us - and the judges - speechless.
Final Count: Bajillion thousands entered. 35 advanced.
Next week, American Idol hits Birmingham, Ala. Stay tuned.