Results tagged “Malingering”

A Day Without Pants

My whole life I have dreamed of a world where we did not need to wear pants. I find them to be uncomfortable and entirely unnecessary and I'd always hoped that we would reach a point when society stood up and said, "screw you, pants!" As I found, ladies and gentlemen, that day is today....

A Forgettable Game... At Least There Were Boobs

I can't believe I called in sick to work to watch this utterly terrible Dodger game. The Blue Crew lost 12 to 1 to the Mets at their monthly mid-week day game today. Maine was pitching a complete game shutout into the 9th until the Dodgers managed to squeak out one run to wipe that big fat 0 off the scoreboard. Not much to say about this one. It sucked balls. A bunch of...

South in Santa Monica: Good Times

South opened its doors a few weeks ago and already business is booming. I arrived for happy hour at 5pm, quite relieved to see how well they'd filled in the space previously occupied by that hideous dim sum restaurant which was a disgrace to all things Chinese. South looks amazing, with nice clear TVs on every wall, wide open spaces, comfortable seating, and tons of windows. I was rather impressed. South was opened by...

Dodgers Sweep the Rockies in the 10th Inning

This is going to be brief. I am lucky to be alive after 3 hours in scorching 90+ degree heat, and my very last ounce of energy will be used to get these photos up before I pass out. Literally. The Dodgers started Loaiza, which is usually a death sentence but today he only gave up two earned runs! This is a huge improvement! The Rockies started Jeff Francis (0-2), who didn't throw nearly...

Greatest First Inning to Start, Worst Jerk-off to Finish

Tonight's Dodger game was amazing in so many ways. The emotions ran high, ranging from the elation of witnessing Matt Kemp's grand slam to top off a 10 run first inning, the fear and helplessness of watching umpire Kerwin Danley get hit in the head by one of Penny's pitches, and then the absolute anger and frustration that I personally experienced sitting in front of the most annoying fucktard ever. Sometime around the 5th...

Dodgers Lose to DBacks 6-4: Some Photos.

Andre Ethier gets hit by a pitch. There are very few days in my life when I actually wish I were rich, but today happened to be one of those days. My sister scored us field level seats behind home plate, which are a world of difference from our season seats in reserve level. As luck would have it, every time someone gives me amazing seats, the Dodgers lose. Every single time I've sat...

Dodgers vs. Pirates: A Photo Gallery

The first inning of last night's Dodger game was one of the best 1st innings I have ever witnessed. Besides watching the boys in blue light up Maholm and score 4 runs on him in the bottom of the 1st, Juan Pierre also pulled off a very close bunt single and Matt Kemp slipped and slid between 2nd and 3rd base: the first fall caused him to get stuck in a run down, the...

Santa Monica Goes Green, Weirdness Emerges

I innocently went to Third Street Promenade on Saturday to go shopping to put together a new "I'm single and available" look as the current one isn't working, and happened upon some sort of pre-Earth Day, super green I heart the environment festival. Fortunately Earth Day brings out the best of Santa Monica, and my camera and I happened to be there. I can't appropriately put words to this, so just click the photos....

Padres at Dodger Stadium: The Sequel

You may or may not have read my tale of last night's disaster at Dodger Stadium (if you haven't, it's worth reading the comments because it completely dissolves into people talking about dicks in a bowl... huh?), but tonight I returned to Chavez Ravine for game two of the three game series against the Padres. I can't say that I wasn't worried, given the Dodgers' little five game losing streak and the absolute mess...

Dodger Stadium, you are killing me.

Three dead beach balls that we killed last night. Last night at Dodger Stadium was Helmet Radio Night, where the first 50,000 (or so) receive a free radio shaped like a helmet that receives exactly one station: AM 790. It was also douchebag night, and obnoxious kids with no parents night, and beach ball night, and people with Sharpie eyebrows who show up in the 6th inning and spill beer all over you so...

Ani's in Love... and so am I

Don't call this a concert review because I am utterly and completely biased. I love Ani Difranco. I've loved her from the day I first laid eyes on her over 13 years ago and I hope to love her forever until the day I die. Last night's show at the Orpheum Theater was the thirteenth time I've seen her live, and now I love her even more. It was a relief to see Ani...

Dodgers Beat Giants 3-2 in the Ninth

Tonight's game was a hell of a lot of fun, even though it was cold and windy and we were getting dive-bombed by hummingbird-sized moths. Both pitchers (Lowe and Cain) pitched five shutout innings before giving up a few runs. Lowe took a comebacker to the lower leg to make way for Joe Beimel to come in and allow two runners to score. Troncoso make his ML debut with the bases loaded and one...

Dodgers Beat the Giants on Opening Day: A Photo Gallery

I've been to Opening Day every year since 2002 and it was starting to feel like the Dodgers simply couldn't win on their first day back to Chavez Ravine. Thank Vin we were playing the crappiest Giants team ever (with embarrassing little league defense to boot) and managed to win 5-0. Chanting "Giants Suck" this year wasn't even that satisfying, as they seemed pretty aware that they suck and didn't even want to put...

Dodgers Return to the Coliseum in Dodger Fashion

The Dodgers celebrated their arrival to Los Angeles 50 years ago by returning to their original LA home: The Coliseum. One hundred fifteen thousand fans gathered last night at the Coliseum in a celebration of LA's home team to watch the Dodgers play the Red Sox in a spring training match up. And guess what, I took photos. Okay but the photos suck. This is because in a string of bad luck, my good...

March Madness at Busby's: Not So Mad

I've been checking out college hoops at various bars, like The Parlor and Q's and Barney's Santa Monica, so I felt it only appropriate that I hit up another Santa Monica sports bar: Busby's. I went Saturday around 4pm to ensure I would get a great seat for the UCLA game at 6:30. Um, Busby's was about as exciting as watching the game in my living room. Okay, the food was better than my...

Happy Spring, from Malingering

Spring is here in Los Angeles! To celebrate, I give you a series of Haikus. boobies are in bloom jiggling in the fresh spring air welcome to LA More poetry after the jump....

Malingering's March Madness Sports Bar Tour Continues...

It's no secret that Q's Billiard Club usually has more douchebags than the feminine products aisle of CVS, but I was in a particularly masochistic mood and felt I needed to hit up Q's at least once in the March Madness Sports Bar tour. Douches are good for something, as beyond being there for you when you have that no-so-fresh feeling, they make really great fairweather fans and can be found cheering enthusiastically during...

Barney's Beanery Biatches

As some of you may well know, I am embarking on Malingering's Marvelous March Madness Sports Bar tour, so I thought I'd hit up one of the usual spots: Barney's Beanery in Santa Monica. Barney's has a few things going for it: 1) The mini chocolate bundt cakes with ice cream and chocolate syrup which are oh-so-delicious 2) Booths which allow you to hide out, have 3 TVs all to yourself, and complete control...

The Parlor Is My New Hangout

Last night the girls and I decided to go out for Happy Hour - which we'd hoped would extend into Happy Hours and perhaps Happy Night. We went to a few bars in Santa Monica, made our way down to Venice, and after a few drinks and a lot of parking, we decided to head back east. Fortunately we happened upon The Parlor, on Wilshire and 15th in Santa Monica. I'm starting to wonder...

UCLA Comes Back to Beat Oregon 75-65

UCLA was almost overtaken by the Oregon Ducks today, but managed to rally back in the second half to win. I am no sports writer, and I'm not going to pretend to be, so this is how it went in my world. UCLA turned the ball over what seemed to be about 9 billion times (actually 12) and were playing like molasses in the first half. They let the shot clock run down to...

You Must Be Able to Walk the Stairs to Rock the Vote

Crazy super Tuesday. So excited. I showed up at my polling place, Emerson Junior High School around 10am today. No crowds, I took the day off of work and took my time getting over there. I went inside to find 5 voting officials with a cumulative age of 496 yakking to each other and paying absolutely no attention to me, the ballots, or the voting booths. There was a middle aged woman there in...

What is That on Your Ass?

Los Angeles has always been populated by the dramatic and the attention-seeking. It's part of our culture, and that's why we don't seem to affected by those who wear their hearts on their sleeves. But what about the latest group of people, those who wear their thoughts on their ass? Take, for example, the woman above who wears a large "24/7" printed directly over her butthole. What exactly does this mean? My ass is...

Flickr Now Limits You to Zero Mistakes Per Person

In the so-called Flickrverse, inadvertently putting one naughty-esque photo in a comment thread will get you flagged and censored, maybe even having all your comments from the past, 10,000 in all, deleted. It wasn't too long ago that Flickr implemented its own questionable censorship system (which resulted them in restricting all of my photos and then apologizing about it later with a whoops, our bad) and became perhaps a bit heavy handed with their...

Top 10 Things I Hope To Not See in 2008

LAist is doing lots of writing about the top ten albums of 2007 or the top books of 2007 or even new year's resolutions. Unfortunately I am much more lame than all of them and not only can I not come up with my top ten recommendations for anything, I can't even come up with ten things that I like. Instead I will write up my wish list: the top 10 things I hope...

LA, Where Are You?

Apparently I am the only one who hasn't finished her holiday shopping. I went to my three prime people watching spots this weekend, and they were dead. Here I am, armed with camera, bills for parking, extra batteries, a ton of memory cards, a notepad and my walking shoes, and I show up and no one's around. I felt so abandoned. I paid $11 to park at Citywalk thinking I would see something truly amazing....

Say Goodbye to Otom

I am terribly saddened to report that my most favoritest sushi restaurant in Los Angeles will be closing its doors on December 31st. I've been going here regularly for 8 years now and I am devastated to see it go. For those of you who love Otom Sushi the way I do, hurry your way over there as you only have a week left. For those of you who have never been there, I'd...

Dear Bus: I Quit

I was born and raised in LA. My first experience with public transportation was at age 6 when my mom said we could ride the bus to the mall. We waited at the bus stop for 30 minutes but the bus never came. So we walked home. That pretty much sums up how I feel about the bus right now. For 5 years (during and after college) I lived on the East Coast; I...

Tori and I are Getting Old... But We're Still Hot.

I went to my 15th Tori Amos concert last night. I still remember the high school days of camping outside of Tower records at 7am on a Saturday morning to get tickets to the her shows, or that time I drove 3 hours in the snow to see her play in Boston on my 21st birthday. And then there was the time we got up at 6am to see her do a show in...

Hooters for everyone!

Ten runs + a win = 10 free wings at Hooters. I don't care about a 124 year old franchise getting 10,000 losses. Really I'm more impressed that the franchise is 124 years old. I do care that they gave us all 10 free wings at Hooters. Woo HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTERS!...

The magic of the number 11 (or, why Giants fans are pathetic)

The Dodgers won their 11th straight game at Pac Bell/SBC/AT&T Park yesterday. The Giants were held to 11 runs during this weekend's series (compare this to the Dodgers' 22 runs - or should we say 11*2?). Brett Tomko's ERA is no longer as close to 11 as it was prior to the game (and it was getting there...). I spent 11 hours in the car this weekend driving back and forth from SF and...

Malingering 1, Dodgers 0

This may be the first time anyone has ever heard me say this, but last night the Dodgers lost and I still feel like a winner. My sheer joy was a gift from a generous benefactor who will be referred to as JC, not only because those are his initials but also because he is now holier than Christ himself. JC hooked us up with seats in the Dugout Club, which is where I...

Dodger Stadium: 175,000,000 and PTSD

Tuesday, July 3rd the Dodgers celebrated a cumulative total attendance of 175,000,000 which is the highest of any sports franchise anywhere. To thank the fans in attendance, they gave all of us a free ticket to a game in the Phillies series (July 16-18), and then (augh) they started hurling autographed baseballs (175 of them) into the stands. Now as badly as I wanted one of these balls (I have yet to catch a...

Malingering's Muscle Beach Awards

I ended up at another bodybuilding competition. Or more correctly, once again I found myself at Venice Beach while a bodybuilding and figure competition was going on. I really should just get on their mailing list so I don't get caught off guard. Plus I keep missing the 'roided up women's bodybuilding competition, since this usually is first. The flip side to coming late is that sometimes the women are in the stands watching...

God Bless America

Good news, everyone! The terrorists have not won. And in America, we have the freedom of expression, which people today use in various ways. Though the sun never came out, the section of America we call Venice Beach had a happy happy birthday. Here we will take a look at the people of Venice Beach and how they showed their patriotism on the 4th of July (beyond the $5 Old Navy flag t-shirt). Keep...

Dodgers, you are hurting me

It's bad enough that I got hit by a line drive on Friday and have a nasty contusion on my hand. But then I sit through 12 innings only to watch Tomko lose the game. Tomko who is 1-6. Tomko who can turn a 6 run lead into a save opportunity (see Thursday's game). Last night hurt. It really did....

what happens when you get hit with a line drive at dodger stadium

ever wonder what happens when you get really good seats on the baseline at dodger stadium and you get pegged with a line drive right off gonzo's bat? i will tell you. ball comes flying at your face at 80mph. put up hand to stop ball. ball hits your hand so loud that everyone in the section gasps. ball bounces off your hand and kid in the row behind you gets the ball. gleeful...

Toto, I don't think we're in Arizona anymore

I asked for a "souvenir helmet sundae." This is because I wanted 1) a souvenir helmet and 2) a sundae. Well, I got number 2 as this is clearly a sundae. And I got half of number 1 as this is a helmet. But how in the world is it a souvenir if it is not the helmet of the team whose STADIUM YOU ARE SITTING IN WATCHING A BALLGAME? I already have about...

Arizona gives the Dodgers a nice goodbye present

Yesterday's Dodger game was worth the long drive and the unbelievable heat and even the helmet sundae fiasco. All of the elements of a great game were there: Randy Johnson was starting (against Randy Wolf for a Randy vs. Randy battle which made me giggle), Martin hit a 2 run home run in the 1st inning which made the rest of the game seem easy, every Dodger in the starting lineup made it on...

112 degrees outside, you'd better get a run

Because LAist loves you and loves the Dodgers, we thought it would be nice to give you some road trip action. Hooray for you. Okay, really I just had to escape LA for a while for fear of vengance from the Victoria's Secret Pink Army and thought Phoenix would be safe. I can blend in with all of the other out-of-town Dodger fans and no one will suspect a thing. Before I go into...

I really want to know Victoria's Secret

Namely, how did Victoria manage to brainwash 80% of the adolescents in LA into thinking that this is cool? The Pink line came out in 2004 and was geared toward college co-eds who like to flounce around the dorms in their pajamas. This would explain this idiotic "PHI BETA PINK" and "Pink University" crap. When I see this, my head nearly explodes with a deluge of unanswered questions. For example: Who buys this stuff? Some...

Venice Beach Skate-O-Rama

Yesterday we told you about National Skateboarding Day. Um, then we mentioned it again. Today we will show you what you missed by not listening to us when we tell you to do something. Okay, I admit that my motives aren't always the purest. I like to see bratty entitled little kids fall down and bruise their overgrown egos and I felt certain with the number of skaters present, there had to be at...

When something burns, LAist is there

Some bonus coverage from last night's fire story. According to KCAL news (home of the Dodgers!), last night a large building at 2028 14th St. (between Olympic and Pico) in Santa Monica went up in flames. Apparently the company makes CDs which smell really really horrible when they burn. At one point the 2nd floor of the building collapsed and the firefighters were evacuated; one firefighter is reported to be injured (get well soon!)....

I hate the OC Angels of Anaheim

I'm a Dodger die-hard. It's in my blood. So I can't like the Angels. But do you know who I hate even more? That jackass who was sitting behind me at the game today. He and his Angel ass-kissing buddy did not stop speaking throughout the entire game. They seriously thought they were placed on this earth to be the walking and talking media guides and for three and a half hours they didn't...

Flickr's censorship system has gone over the top

It started out with innocent users (like me). Now it's extended to entire countries. Flickr's filtering system has now prevented users from Singapore, Germany, Hong Kong or Korea from viewing any photos considered "unsafe." Compounding this problem is the fact that the filter system has so many glitches in it, that even photos of dogs and kittens can be considered "restricted content." From the Flickr FAQ: SafeSearch is a feature that allows you to...

Notes on last night's Dodger game

The good news is, I am not a jinx. Going into tonight's game, the Dodgers had a 19-12 home record. Their record with me in attendance? 7-9. I was considering staying home and just listening to Vin on TV as I seem to have a negative effect on the team and I was on a three game losing streak. But last night, the curse was broken. How appropriate it be broken by a fellow...

why I hate white pants

Since it appears that some of my prior posts have infuriated readers enough to call me something along the lines of "a poison to society," I have come to realize that I must be extremely influential and powerful in my role of (as one person called me), "Queen of the Retards." Otherwise, people wouldn't be so upset, would they? They would shake their heads and say "moron" and click on one of the other,...

People! Buy some sunscreen!

For the love of Vin Scully, people! You are going to a baseball game. You are sitting outside in 80 degree weather with no shade for three hours. At what point does it not occur to you to bring some sunblock along with you? Let's try planning ahead next time....

Blame Canada

Turns out the Dodgers' "no signs or banners" policy applies to the Canadian flag as well. According the Canadian sports website TheStar.com, security tried to confiscate the Canadian flag belonging to a Blue Jays fan because they felt it could cause fans to be aggressive toward each other. Needless to say, the Canadians in the section were furious, and several security guards and LAPD officers were called to the scene. Well Canada, don't you...

not so hollywood stars

Saturday night was the 49th Annual Hollywood Stars game at Dodger Stadium. This has been a long-standing tradition at Dodger Stadium, beginning in 1958, the year the Dodgers came to Los Angeles. A few years back, they changed the game from baseball to softball, and they started letting people sit on the field to try to catch home runs. There used to be some reasonably famous people playing and Jon Lovitz and Billy Crystal...

Los Feliz Street Fair: for the dogs

There were so many funny dogs at the Los Feliz street fair on Sunday, I almost forgot that I was there to take photos of people. I was having a grand time watching the dogs maneuver their way past the Scientologists to sniff the butts of the other dogs and then start barking away. Why is this so amusing to me? I don't know. I take solace in the fact that it takes so...

Los Feliz walks the streets

After returning to Los Angeles after living back east, one of the things I missed most about NYC was the street fairs. Sure they got a bit redundant, the $5 bra and panties booth and the turkey leg cart and the Abercrombie irregular outlet store reject booth, but for a people watching voyeur like myself, street fairs are like having a parade in my honor. I can park my ass on the curb and...

Another reason to love Venice Beach

There's the orange men and abundant tattoos and the fashion disasters, but is there a cooler group of people than the roller skaters? Malingering says no....

Call Me Pussycat

Nikki's, Pussycat Beach, Venice Beach, food

Dear Lady at Dodger Photo Day:

The Dodgers have super special grass, as described on Dodgers.com The Dodgers installed a brand new state-of-the-art grass field after the conclusion of the 1995 season. Prescription Athletic Turf (PAT), created and installed by the Cincinnati-based Motz Group, used the latest agronomic and engineering technology to manage field moisture through controlled drainage and irrigation. The 100,000 square feet of bermuda grass is grown on pure sand, beneath which a vacuum chamber is laid over...

Why Juan Pierre's bat got hot

One can speculate a number of reasons, but the actual reason is because he's fucking hilarious. This is Juan at Dodgers photo day. While the pitchers walked around in a little clique and waved and Nomar was shooed along by security, Mr. Pierre was the life of the party. He was dancing and posing and making his GQ sexy face. When we asked him why he was walking around with his pants over his...

Willie Wonka must have done a bunch of layoffs

I happened upon this event last year and giggled for about 4 days. Last year I had the fortune of walking by just as the women's figure competition was finishing up, and there was this voice of God over a microphone that would say "LEFT DELTOID" and then everyone would turn and flex their oily glistening shoulders in unison and smile their most constipated smile while standing atop 4 inch tall plastic hooker shoes....

Malingering's period piece

Wyeth received FDA approval yesterday for its continuous suppression birth control pill, Lybrel. What does this mean? Well, for some women it means "no more periods!!!! :)" For others it means "no more periods?!?!?!" Doctors and gynecologists have been recommending "menstrual suppression therapy" for years, namely for women who suffer from those horrible throbbing menstrual migraines, those bloody awful (literally) symptoms of painful and excessively heavy periods, the ups and downs of PMS (in...

Kiddie rides: not just for the children

Apparently you can also use them just to look and sound really super-duper cool when you're making phone calls in Chinatown, as seen above. The best part of this whole moment, which doesn't show up in the photo, is that he had put quarters into the motorcycle so the whole time it's making this mechanical "vroom vroom!" sound and rocking back and forth. And he's chatting away on some business type call as if...

Pink Los Angeles

Sometimes Angelinos wonder why we are mocked around the rest of the country. Maybe it's because of stuff like this. I'm not trying to justify stereotypes or anything. I'm just sayin'....

Flickr's new censorship system

As most people in the blogosphere know, Flickr is a very (very) popular photo sharing site. It contains over half a BILLION images taken by people from every corner of the earth, and has become a meeting place for professional photographers, photo enthusiasts, and people who just want to share photos of their cats and kids. Recently, Flickr decided to invoke a new filtering system, which rates photos according to their level of safety:...

Say No To Crack

Last night's game was an exciting evening filled with cracked bats and ass cracks. Where to start, where to start? There's just so much to look at. Okay, we'll go in alphabetical order. She must be a Cardinals fan because she's showing all of us her Pujol....

Seven runs is the threshold

Well, at least now we know. Dodgers pitching staff, take note. Give up 7 runs, you can stay in the game. Give up 7 runs and then giving up another hit and Grady picks up the phone to the bullpen. Oh wait, our long reliever is now our starter because Schmidt is on the DL. That's okay. We'll call in Saenez. Rudy comes in and next thing you know it's 8-0 in the 3rd...

Caught between a rock and a breast implant

I am probably in the minority here, and I couldn't care less. I am sick and tired of these solid as a rock tittie implants that women in LA are boldly carrying around on their chests like camels with cement humps. There are a fair number of people who believe I have some sort of implant fetish because I feel the need to shout "LOOK FAKE BOOBS!" whenever I see them (as if the...

Another reason to heart LA

The Yeti boots are rebelling against me. I write one little article about them and now they have mutated, grown wheels, and are preparing to take over Los Angeles. Take cover people. This is your warning....

Fires bring us closer together

It was an interesting night in Los Angeles. A community generally lost to each other in the confines of Bluetooth headsets and commuter traffic united in a somewhat macabre spectacle: watching Griffith Park burn. Griffith Park on fire: a photo essay...

Yes I am the Muffin Man

Today we will look at one of my least favorite fashion occurrences. This has been going on for far too long, and I have lost the self-control to tolerate it. As with all moronic fashion trends, for months I patiently photographed the idiocy and awaited its disappearance. The problem we face today is that the Sausage Mc Muffins simply are not going away. So I must ask you Los Angeles: how can we eliminate...

The Dodgers Win It 2-1 (sound familiar?)

There is no better reason to call in sick to work than a Dodgers mid-week day game. So that's just what I did. To make the whole experience even better, the Dodgers won a close one to the joy of everyone except the 3 Arizona fans in the crowd. Ha ha, too bad for them, who's leading the division now, you Sedona wearing punks?...

The Dodgers Kicked Ass

Hmmm. What should we do? I know, let's kick some Diamondback backside!...

Let's Stay Positive

Being a natural born cynic, this is hard to say and even harder to do. But the Dodgers did played a 5 hour long game on Sunday and pulled off a win over the Padres, so I will try to hide my disappointment about getting killed 9 to 1 on Monday night by the Diamondbacks, who are now up on the Dodgers by half a game....

Bobbleheads and other things that make your eyes roll

The Dodgers were swept. I was also yelled at by 3 traffic cops on my way to the stadium. Juan Pierre missed the sign for the squeeze. I had to look at Barry Bonds. Nomar represented the tying run with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th and he struck out to end the game on his own bobblehead night. I don't really want to talk about it right now. So instead I offer...

Ugg! Enough!

Over the past few years, an odd phenomenon has taken over Los Angeles. Outfits no longer make sense. People's feet are dressed for winter and their bellies are dressed for summer (yes, that's a mere 5 degree difference here in LA, but you know what I'm getting at). I honestly hoped this would wear off over time, and as the feet got warmer and the butts got colder (and the funny tan lines became...

A Confederacy of Dunces

Maybe LAist has been covering a lot of Dodgers lately and we should think about something else for once. Wrong! They're winning! They've got the best record in the MLB! Let us bask in the glory while it lasts! Meanwhile, yesterday's game was just plain silly. Three errors in three innings, players falling down on their faces, five broken bats, drizzly rain to make the Dodger Dogs just soggy enough, it all added up...

Dodger Stadium doesn't like me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dodger Stadium parking fiascoes are old news now. I probably shouldn't even be bringing this up right now, but yesterday the spark re-ignited my Dodger Parking kindling and I'm back on the rampage. You see, I thought I'd come up with a good system, as one night last week I waited for less than 6 minutes to get out of the lot and I was very very proud of my ingenuity...

Root root root for the away team

(The inspiration for today.) The Dodgers-Giants rivalry outdates the majority of the people at Dodger Stadium on any given day, and its importance is proven by the fact that they raise the price of tickets when the Dodgers play at AT&T-SBC-Pac Bell-telecommunications merger conglomerate Park. The low point in this rivalry was that night back in 2003 when (while leaving the park) we heard that a Dodger-fan-turned-Giants-fan was shot and killed in the parking...

American Girls Gone Wild

If you've been to the Grove lately, you know about the American Girl Doll phenomenon: 7 year old girls dragging around $86 dolls with matching clothing that sells for about $80 per outfit for the girl (and $25 per outfit for the doll). Every westside 2nd grader must have a doll, and leaving the Grove without $300 worth of American Girl Place Merchandise is a cause for shame. Despite the fact that dolls were...

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