The Ultimate Mental Health Distraction Worksheet For Election 2020 (And Beyond)

(Illustration by Lisa Brenner/LAist | Image by ETA+/Unsplash )

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You voted. You're a treasure. Now, it's time to wait.

The election isn't over until ballots are tallied and results are certified. In California, that could mean after Thanksgiving. Between now and then, you can either —

  1. Spike your anxiety with a full-on news diet, or
  2. Dip in and out of the unfolding fight for democracy with the following comforts and side-trips.

If you've chosen option 2, please accept this worksheet as a fortifying gesture in the interest of mental health. These are emergency respites meant to recharge your psyche and reflect a gentler absurdity than 2020 has offered so far.

Check back for updates, and we're also taking requests. What kind of distraction / self-care / digital warm hugs / #rabbithole do you require? Tell us.

Commence diversions.



Learn this. You've had more than a decade.



❑ You might think, "this cat doesn't get me." But you would be wrong. This cat knows exactly where your head is at.



❑ Here's what happens when you start two songs with the same idea but then you get sucked into divergent timelines.



❑ Spend a few minutes imagining a world where this and this is actually Larry David dressed up as Tony Hawk.



Start researching Black Friday sales for the total, absolute, best possible value deals until comparison paralysis sets in and then you buy nothing.



❑ If there was ever a time to mine the Wayback Machine for joy, it is now. This is Beedogs, a defunct website devoted to dogs dressed up in bee costumes that existed in the mid-aughts when wholesome internet nonsense danced like no one was watching. Click on the photo of the beedog to begin your journey. Come for the dog outfits. Stay for the amazing page transitions:

"Imagine that a genie grants you three wishes. You wish first for unlimited money, natch. Next, you ask for x-ray vision. Your third and final wish is to be unencumbered by the consequences of your irresponsible actions. After living a life of fun and frivolity, you realize that your existence has been empty and completely without meaning or purpose. On your deathbed it finally hits you that redemption of your immortal soul can only be brought about by more beedogs. But will you click the link?"


❑ When engaging with television news, watch on mute, with closed-captioning, while listening to french disco.


He sure is yelling some great ideas. (Screenshot: Twitter.com/altonbrown)

❑ Alton Brown's Twitter meltdown was probably not meant to be educational but it happens to be full of great ideas.



❑ Our own Monica Bushman must have very healthy online coping strategies because YouTube's algorithm of Sauron surfaced this gem below for her.

It's called "oldies playing in another room and it's raining" and that's what it is, and it is glorious. She recommends hitting play and then shoving your phone into a drawer while you read a book.



❑ Watch the first video about pressure if you want to cry.

Watch the second video about pressure if you want to feel every other possible emotion.



❑ Be your own meme and make popcorn just because. Heat 3 tablespoons of olive oil in a big pot and add 1/3 cup of kernels after your testers pop.

To feel like a million bucks, chop and sprinkle any fresh herbs you perhaps grew in a fit of home gardening. Here's some local inspiration.



❑ Animals in slow motion is the new baby animals. All relevant hashtags apply.


(Screenshot: Colourlovers.com/palettes/)

❑ Search for color palettes of every movie you've ever seen. Even Hot Tub Time Machine. It's a calm delight.



❑ The host of LAist Studios' podcast Servant of Pod, Nick Quah, shared some podcast picks for this moment in time.

His relaxing recs are from the micro-genre of environmental sound podcasts — try "Walking" or "Field Recordings."

For a good story, Reply All's "Case of the Missing Hit" is jaunt through one guy's obsession with a song that might not actually exist.

And for bedtime, try Sleep with Me for stream-of-consciousness stories that just might trick your mind into falling asleep.

Or if none of that resonates, just pick a side in the timeless fight between flowers and rainbows.



This NSFW meditation is the only guided relaxation effort that doesnt send me into a paradoxical rage. But you might be more well adjusted. If so, here are some excellent meditations without cursing.



When you're faking it so hard. This is the inner life of 2020.



❑ What is travel? Sing about it.



❑ Harry Potter-themed cozy cabin videos with crackling fire sounds are a thing that exist. Get involved.