TV Junkie: An Appeal To David Letterman - WTF Dude?

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Does something smell bad Dave? Oh yeah, that's the smell of your show last night - it stank.

Last night's "Late Show With David Letterman" was pretty disappointing as Letterman's primary guest was former Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld. Rumsfeld is someone that Letterman mined for jokes for several years until the sheer criminality of the Bush administration was too disgusting to joke about anymore. Those days were treated as water under the bridge as Letterman joked with Rumsfeld about mules and why they were sterile. The only serious questions posed to Rumsfeld were those about the turmoil in the Middle East and Africa to which Rumsfeld's reply was to "look at Lebanon, where the result was Hezbollah" - a point that Letterman didn't question; the other topic touched was the protests in Wisconsin where, again, Letterman didn't question Rumsfeld's opinion that Wisconsin's Governor was right in his push to squash unions.

I've been watching less and less of Letterman over the past couple years as its been difficult to witness his show enter a spiral of mediocrity and un-funny-ness. When I have tuned in, it was to catch a guest or performer that I knew would be entertaining, instead of relying on the show itself to provide laughs and entertainment. A couple weeks ago Letterman hinted to guest Howard Stern that he would be done hosting "in a couple years." Dave, I grew up watching you, you were someone I adored, you had the most cutting-edge show on TV at one time, I was shattered when you didn't get "The Tonight Show," I was elated when you started "The Late Show," I prayed for you when you had your heart surgery, and I stuck with you through the whole intern-schtupping business. How about finishing out these last couple years on a high note? Challenge your writing staff and/or get some new (and probably younger) writers in that room.

Also, please don't abandon your principles. Three or four years ago, you would have loved to put some hard questions to Donald Rumsfeld, a demagogue that would probably be indicted as a war criminal if he wasn't from the United States. Rumsfeld was America's Tariq Aziz, an obfuscator, a manipulator of the facts, an outright liar, and an eager participant in the creation and execution of criminal policies that will haunt America for decades to come - and you joked with him about mules, repeatedly.

I'm not even going to go into taking apart your monologue and your tried and true (aka stale) standard bits, or the shit you do with Paul. Your time with Rumsfeld put all that other stuff into even more stark perspective. Give me a reason to keep watching you? I desperately need one.

Dave, if you can't end on a high note, with some great jokes and a backbone, then perhaps you should consider shortening your remaining tenure. You're making it difficult to hold onto the happy memories I had of you and the show you created. I know you've got it in you, c'mon man.

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Banksy Oscars Update: Enigmatic street artist Banksy has told the British press that his offer to attend the Oscars in disguise has been rejected by producers of the show. At this point, due to the extremely high security surrounding the event, this pretty much means that he won't be attending the show unless he reveals his identity.
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Tonight G4 will premiere its new series "Jump City" at 8pm. You've seen these freerunner/parkour athletes promoting the show on various venues, including on "Conan" last week and it's been pretty cool. At 5pm Pacific, athletes Adrian Gonzalez of Miami Freerunning and Billy "Skipper" Hughes and Jereme Sanders of The Tribe will be doing a live tweet session via @g4jumpcity.
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The TV Junkie Must-Watch Plan: "No Ordinary Family," "Raising Hope," "Traffic Light," "SouthLAnd," "The Daily Show" (Anderson Cooper), "The Colbert Report" (Bing West), Kimmel (Cameron Diaz, Henry Winkler, Cake performs), Fallon (Jeremy Irons, directors Peter and Bobby Farrelly, Destroyer performs)

7:00pm Amadeus TCM - (1984) Antonio Salieri (F. Murray Abraham), court composer in Vienna, confesses in old age to his sins against the young genius Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Tom Hulce)

8:00pm Jump City: Seattle G4 - Series Premiere. Tempest vs. Miami Freerunning.

8:00pm No Ordinary Family ABC - An innocent boy is accidentally hurt when Jim diverts a bullet; Daphne's boyfriend injects his father (Anthony Michael Hall) with stolen trilsettum serum; Joshua asks Katie to marry him.

9:00pm Raising Hope Fox - Virginia's strapped-for-cash cousin Delilah (Amy Sedaris) visits unexpectedly; Jimmy panics when Maw Maw takes off on Sabrina's moped.

9:00pm Frontline PBS/KOCE - Revolution in Cairo The youth movement in Cairo, Egypt, includes the April 6 group; Egypt's Muslim Brotherhood.

9:00pm V ABC - Erica travels to Hong Kong to seek revenge against Anna; even after the Red Rain, Anna learns Tyler's phosphorus level is too low; Diana and Lisa begin to form an alliance

9:00pm Dirty Jobs Discovery - Cedar Log Peeler Mike cleans out a fish grinder in the Bering Sea; Mike helps processing wood for a cedar log cabin.

9:00pm NCIS: Los Angeles CBS - When Deeks is shot during a convenience store robbery, the team must determine if he was the assailants' intended target.

9:00pm Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmern Travel - Namibia Andrew travels to Namibia and embarks on a journey back through time on a quest to meet the tribe of the Himba.

9:30pm Traffic Light Fox - Mike develops a friendship with an attractive female colleague; Callie keeps Adam company by phone on his morning commutes; Ethan tries to stop his new relationship from getting serious.

9:55pm White Collar USA - U.S. Marshals ask Peter and Neal to track down an FBI agent accused of selling witness locations.

10:00pm SouthLAnd TNT - Sammy seeks answers in the desert; Lydia and Josie watch an important witness before a murder trial; John and Ben help a child in need.

10:00pm Tosh.0 Comedy Central - Daniel Tosh participates in humiliating himself and as many others as possible which makes wonderful TV.

10:00pm Parenthood NBC - Crosby faces the consequences of a mistake he made; Adam is annoyed with Alex's frequent visits

10:00pm Lights Out FX - Lights attempts a difficult comeback both in the ring and in his home.

10:00pm The Good Wife CBS - Diane represents ballistics expert Kurt McVeigh in a lawsuit; Eli takes an interest in Wendy Scott-Carr's illegal nanny.

10:30pm Onion SportsDome Comedy Central - A NASCAR driver is caught with a prostitute in his car during the Daytona 500.

11:00pm The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Comedy Central - Anderson Cooper

11:00pm Conan TBS - Actor Matthew Perry; actor Mike Sorrentino; Jason Aldean performs.

11:30pm The Colbert Report Comedy Central - Bing West

11:35pm Late Show With David Letterman CBS - Actress Amy Poehler.

11:35pm The Tonight Show With Jay Leno NBC - Actor Owen Wilson; political commentator Rachel Maddow; Anberlin performs.

12:00am Lopez Tonight TBS - Actor Martin Lawrence; actor Jared Leto; Thirty Seconds To Mars performs.

12:05am Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC - Actress Cameron Diaz; actor Henry Winkler; Cake performs.

12:35am The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson CBS - Actor John Waters; actress Malin Akerman.

12:35am Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC - Actor Jeremy Irons; directors Peter and Bobby Farrelly; Destroyer performs.