Enough with the Oscar talk -- Kimmel's long-awaited response to "I'm Fuckin' Matt Damon" is here and it's chock-full of hilarity:......

For over seven years, the Rebels of Comedy have created a warm and welcoming environment in one of America's most notoriously vicious industries. The comedy troop regularly brings Los Angele venues the biggest names and best up-and-coming talent in stand-up. Tonight, the Rebels will put on two shows at the Hollywood Improv featuring Joe Rogan (Fear Factor) and Ahmed Ahmed (Axis of Evil Comedy Tour and Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Tour), plus a wild......

I watched Saving Grace last night because there was nothing else on and I was sorry I did it. Holly Hunter I love you but there should be a better show than this for you - it's morphed into Touched By An Angel with touches of profanity. It looks like there's a lot of stuff tonight (below) but it's actually pretty sparse. I'll have some DVD reviews up soon since that's what I'm really watching,......

I hope you've got a bunch of stuff Tivo'd because there's nothing on until Sunday. You tell me that there is stuff on tonight? What, you mean Friday Night Lights, NUMB3RS, or Las Vegas? Please. Tomorrow, there's no reason to turn on prime time TV unless it's for Citizen Kane on TCM at 8:30. The Big Story is Sunday, check it: Sunday 8:00pm Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project HBO - Special. Don Rickles is......

Listen to the interview here: Bobby Slayton is an icon, he's been doing stand-up for 30 years, everyone in the industry knows him, and generations of us have grown up on his comedy. At his live show the crowd gets warmed up with a video of practically every single well-known American comic, from Don Rickles to Robin Williams, giving props to Bobby. I've been listening and seeing Bobby Slayton perform for 25 years, listening to......

In a couple of weeks I will be joining 40,000 artists, misfits, deviants, hippies, vampires, musicians, furries, and nudists to participate in the 21st Burning Man Festival in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada. So if you happen to be strolling through Venice Beach during the week of Aug. 27- Sept. 3 and wonder where all the freaks are at don’t be alarmed, we’re all just taking a much needed vacation from the default......

Not ON cocaine, but a standup of where he stands on cocaine. This is from his classic "Live at the Met" show and is absolutely priceless. Peruvian Marching Powder. This is slightly NSFW, but you probably could guess that from the title.......

Bad Manners @ Safari Sam's Thailand, Radars to the Sky, Blue Skies for Black Hearts, Fast Computers @ Silverlake Lounge Metal Skool, Inberst, Sound of the Struggle, It’s Revenge @ Key Club Patton Oswalt @ Largo Nomo, The Lions @ Temple Bar Health, Robin Williams on Fire @ Pehrspace Cracker & a Coaster, The Abe Lincoln Story, The Digs @ Mr. T's Bowl Eagle & Talon, Open Air Stereo, Van Gunn, Barcelona @ The......

6:22 - It's your last chance to text in your vote for Best Movie. I know it hasn't even opened yet, but I bet that somehow Transformers will win. 6:21 - Mike Myers gets a well-deserved laugh after he thanks his parents for teaching him to "never sell out" and immediately follows it with a deliberately over-the-top promo for a Pontiac sedan. Plug away. 6:19 - "Shall I shag him now or shall I......

A Word or 4 dozen : Somehow I totally missed posting that the Shield was on last night and again it was good. I think one would be hard-pressed to find more raw and compelling performances on any other show available on the networks or basic cable. Being a former SF resident, I haven't been able to get enough of Conan's broadcast from the Orpheum theater on Market Street- too bad that's still bum-junkie......

The Jesus and Mary Chain, Giant Drag @ The Glass House Stephen Marley, Damian "Jr Gong" Marley @ House of Blues Tapes & Tapes, Harlem Shakes @ Spaceland Jet @ The Troubadour Vast @ El Rey The Shys, Dirty Sweet, Lords of Jack @ Viper Room Vow of the Repentent, Artistic Expression, The Circuit, The New Colony @ Roxy Xu Xu Fang, Stephenson Ranch Davidians, Ludger @ Silverlake Lounge Elliot Randall Band, Pete Hopkins,......

The Abe Lincoln Story @ The Echo Division Day, Great Northern, Peter Walker @ Spaceland Metal Skool, The Thornbirds, Drugstore Cowboys @ Key Club Cousin Kate, Amy Loftus @ The Gig Mia Sable, Kristy Kruger, Gil Landry @ The Hotel Cafe Eastern Conference Champions, Magic & Rattles, Valentino, The Shys @ Silverlake Lounge The Binges, Wired All Wrong, Minutes to Midnight, Andy Dick @ King King Robin Williams on Fire, Macka, The Pristines, Alexis......

Current Record: 17-20, 4th Pacific, 10th West Last Week: It started out with a bang, ended with a whimper. Sam Cassell made a triumphant return to the lineup, pouring in 31 points off the bench in helping the Clippers overcome a 13 point deficit to the depleted Hornets. Yeah, I’d say they were happy to have him back. The Clips then followed it up with a solid road win (yes, you read that correctly)......

Tommy Sands, Glen Glenn, Ray Campi, Barry Holdship, Dusk Devils, Patty Booker, Lisa Finnie, Candye Kane, Carlos Guitarlos, Rip Masters, The Blasters, Justin Curtis, Danny Blitz, Dawn Shipley, The Fleagles, Count Smokula, Rod & the Tonemasters, Crown City Bombers and others - Annual Elvis Birthday Bash @ Henry Fonda NOFX @ House of Blues The Submarines @ The Echo Pigeon John @ Safari Sam's The Broken West @ Spaceland Metal Skool, Julie @ Key......

The Guitar Center Drum-Off Grand Finals starring +44, Street Drum Corps, Hellride @ Henry Fonda Theater B.B. KING @ Kodak Theater Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks @ El Rey The Ditty Bops @ McCabe's Glen Phillips @ Largo My Morning Jacket @ Wiltern Blues Traveler @ The Canyon The View @ Spaceland Billy Vera & the Beaters @ Rusty's Surf Ranch Hed (PE), Needlemouth, Avava @ Key Club Bastardass, Dirty Fucking Commies, Dohrn @......

Tim Sullivan writes a weekly column for the San Francisco Chronicle. He says he still has no idea what it's about. He likes punk rock music and posting photos on Buzznet. And, according to this list, he likes Frisco over our beautiful paradise. We can only wonder which is worse: not having a football team, or having two of the worst teams in all of football? Timmmmmmmay's Top 11 Reason's SF is Better Than......

Tuesday Night "NBA Basketball" (PRIME 42, 6:00 p.m.) Clippers @ Jazz "Nova" (PBS, 8:00 p.m.) A genetic impairment causes an entire Turkish family to walk on all fours. PBS is attempting to become the Discovery Channel, or TLC or something sensational. What next, "When Anthropologists Attack"? "Dancing With the Stars" (ABC, 8:00 p.m.) This is the finals, finally - does anyone think that they'll let Emmitt Smith walk away with this thing? I'd like......

Monday Night "Monday Night Football" (ESPN, 5:30 p.m.) Buccaneers @ Panthers "Kingdom Come" (IFC, 6:00 p.m.) Feel good neo-blacksploitation flick starring LL Cool J, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox "College Football" (PRIME 42, 7:00 p.m.) Oregon @ USC "NHL Hockey" (Fox Sports, 7:30 p.m.) Sharks @ Kings "Prison Break" (FOX, 8 p.m.) see if these guys finally make it out of prison before the show goes on extended hiatus "Two and a Half......

Remember Green Jell-O? Remember when they had to change their name to Green Jelly? Remember when they were given their own studio on Hollywood Blvd. a few blocks east of the Palladium to dig into their endless banks of creativity and bring back gooey nuggets of rock? Remember how they don't have that studio any more and now they have to open for Metal Skool? We kid our local Gwarabees. The Roots @ Avalon......

Grim news about a Southern California staple: Chris Morris, a 103.1 dj, says in the Hollywood Reporter that the nation's largest free-standing record store chain, Tower Records, is in huge financial debt and may not last another year: The amount of money that Tower owes evidently is staggering. One confidential source familiar with Tower's balance sheet put the company's debt to Warner Music Group's distributor WEA Corp. at $20 million. The same source said......

E3 has once again left the City of Angels, leaving in it's wake a trail of litter advertising the newest, hottest games, tons of Starbucks cups, the swag no one wanted, and booth babes sporting a bit more money in their wallets. Everyone that exhibited during the week of videogames is still probably recuperating, we can only imagine. Best thing overheard at E3 this year? "Man, this is where nerdy girls get laid." Our......

Despite the huge marketing campaign by Starbucks Entertainment and the not-too-terrible reviews, Akeelah and the Bee debuted in 8th place with an anemic $6.3 million at the boxoffice. Kind of disappointing for the feel-good film to finish behind the number one film, RV (Robin Williams' take on Vacation), and Stick It, which, LAist guesses, does for gymnasts what Bring it On did for the cheerleaders of America. So note to Starbucks: Whispers sometimes do......

We made plans to see House of D with a reminder to our Duchovny-devoted movie-going companion that we were a really good friend for doing so. After all, two scathing reviews of this David Duchovny cinematic "triple threat" had left a bitter taste in our mouth, but also a strange and unfamilliar urge to actually go see the movie, if only to find out how bad it actually was. It couldn't be that bad,......

Those crazy meteorologists keep saying the rain is coming but it's sunny right now so we're just going to ignore them. Besides that, this week the only things we're more obsessed with than "American Idol" and "Project Runway" is crime. NBC 4 reports that LAPD and Beverly Hills Police have formed the Hillside Burglary Task Force to deal with the rash of West Side residential crimes over the last two months. Meanwhile, in another......