While SFist cringed at the fatal dose of crime littering the Bay Area, it found solace in Hillary Clinton's San Francisco campaign headquarters opening, which featured loads of exposed mammary glands. In other news, SF Taxi Commission ruled that Satan's cab must keep its (in)famous medallion number, 666; and in an un-fashion-forward frenzy, San Francisco Fashion Week (chortle) bars bloggers from covering and getting smashed at their shows and parties, respectively. Also, they found a......

It's been widely reported this weekend that Tom Cruise is the "Jesus Christ of Scientology." Indeed, church leader David Miscavige told a UK paper: "Tom has been told he's Scientology's Christ-like figure.... Like Christ, he's been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right." Without getting ideological, not only do we doubt that Jesus ever got down in his tighty-whities to Bob Seger, we're pretty sure that Tom Cruise left the......

10) While LA's Silversun Pickups can't seem to shed the Smashing Pumpkins comparisons despite releasing a record -- "Carnavas" -– that tops anything Billy Corgan's done since Siamese Dream, the only think rockin' in Chicago these days is the back seat of R. Kelly's stretch Benz. 9) Ex-Illinois Governor George Ryan may be headed to jail for his activities as a corrupt, crony-lovin' highway-to-nowhere-building Republican, but he at least had the foresight to impose......