We'd like to take credit for this hi-larious story about this Kobe Bryant feature in possible pre-development, but we can't.

Check it out here.

Photo by lunchbox.

James Caan, Ray Liotta, Cuba Gooding Jr., Josh Lucas, Jerry O'Connell, "Snoop Dogg", Jerry Bruckheimer and Mark McGwire. Is this the cast for next summers biggest blockbuster?

No way hockey fans! That's just a sprinkling of the giant mega superstars that attended last nights 1-0 win by the hometown Ducks. The Ducks are now up 2-0 in the series and are poised to bring the Stanley Cup to the West Coast for the first time in 82 years.

Yesterday I said I was going to tune in to see washed up actors, a decent anthem singer, and good hockey. And despite the absence of Emilio Estevez, the game delivered on all three counts.

Last night it was the Canadian anthem's turn to be butchered (arguably the best in the world). You know you chose your career path erroneously when 500 or so Ottawa fans boo their own freakin' anthem.

Ducks 1, Senators 0 - Anaheim needed another last-second goal to beat Ottawa, but in the NHL finals they'll take any victory they can get. Jean-Sebastien Giguere was clutch in the net again, guiding the Ducks to a 2-0 series lead. The teams head to Canada for the next two games. If necessary, five and seven would be in Anaheim. But does anybody care?

Dodgers 5, Nationals 0 - It's going to be a good night when your starting pitcher reaches base as many times as he gives up hits. Derek Lowe gave up three hits in seven shutout innings, while scoring once on a single and two walks. Russell Martin helped the cause with a two run homer.

Angels 8, Mariners 6 - Gary Matthews Jr., Casey Kotchman, and Vlad Guerrero all went yard to help the Halos take a 2-1 series from Seattle. Ichiro Suzuki went 1-for-5 to keep his hitting streak alive at 23 games.

Elsewhere - If you hadn't heard, Kobe may be leaving the Lakers. Scroll down, we've had a lot of coverage! ... Are you ready for some more football? ... Check out this YouTube of a fan getting put in place for rushing the field in the middle of the game.

AP photo by Mark Avery.

Game 2 goes tonight at the Honda Center as superstar Travis Moen and the Anaheim Ducks host Ray "Don Magic" Emery and the Ottawa Senators. All the buzz thus far has been about how Anaheim's top checking line of Sammy Pahlsson, Rob Niedermayer and Travis Moen have outplayed Ottawa's top scoring line of Jason Spezza, Dany Heatley and Daniel Alfredsson.

Nuts to all that sports talk gibberish.

The real story is how there is no story. Outside of a few frisky legislators north of the border (the Canadian one), the buzz surrounding this Final has been minimal.

In this vein, the Canadian Press ran a sweet story yesterday. Live from Newport Beach, we join a super baked skateboarder:

"I'm cheering for the other guys to beat the Ducks because I am a Red Wings fan," he said to hoots of derision from his friends. "I predict Ottawa will win it in three.

With the Dodgers playing a rather boring series at the Washington Nationals, it’s time to take care of some housecleaning.

All Star Voting

Yesterday, Major League Baseball released the preliminary results of the first period of fan voting for the All Star Game. The fan votes will determine which position players start the game. According to the results, My Boyfriend is running a distant fourth to the fiery whoring gambler Paul Lo Duca (former Dodger and current New York Met), a far inferior Brian McCann of the Atlanta Braves and a nondescript Johnny Estrada from the Brewers.

Make sure to vote for My Boyfriend. If he ends up not starting I will unleash my fury upon the masses here in Los Angeles that will cause even more gridlock on the freeways, the complete disappearance of all bike lanes and a plague of biblical proportions not seen since the time of Moses.

All kidding aside, here is my helpful unbiased guide to whom I think should be starting the game for the National League:

1B – Prince Fielder, Milwaukee Brewers
2B – Chase Utley, Philadelphia Phillies
SS – Jose Reyes, New York Mets
3B – Miguel Cabrera, Florida Marlins
C – Russell Martin, Los Angeles Dodgers
OF – Moises Alou, New York Mets
OF – Carlos Lee, Houston Astros
OF – Matt Holliday, Colorado Rockies.

As for the American League, screw them. I find it sad they still use that crutch, the designated hitter.

Drunk Buss Driver - Laker owner Jerry Buss was popped for a DUI yesterday in Carlsbad. There are a lot of questions yet to be answered: Who was the 23 year old girl he was with? Why would a baller like Buss be driving a station wagon? Will Kobe's demands to bring back Jerry West be fulfilled? Hmmm, maybe this little ordeal was just to distract us from that last question.

Dodgers 10, Nationals 0 - The Dodgers found a fun team to pick on. Only one team in the NL has a worse record than Washington, and by the end of the series they could be at rock bottom. Juan Pierre connected four times, tallying nine total bases -- about twice as many as Brad Penny gave up in 6 and 1/3. Penny improved to 7-1 and dropped his season ERA to 2.06. He helped his own cause by going 2-for-2 at the plate and scoring a run.

Angels 4, Mariners 1 - The Halos only needed 128 minutes to put away Seattle. It looked like a long one when Ervin Santana allowed four baserunners on 26 hits in the first inning, but he turned things around quickly. Ichiro Suzuki singled and scored in the first frame, extending his hitting streak to 22 games.

Elsewhere - LAist loves unusual sports. Chariot racing, anyone? ... American Gladiators is back on TV, thanks to the same family of networks who bring you the National Spelling Bee ... Some sports fans like cheese on their nachos, others like to chase their cheese down a giant hill ... Is it bizarre that Rampage Jackson parties before his fights and wins, while his opponent rips it up after getting punked?

AP photo by Haraz N. Ghanbari.

The Ducks have waddled one step closer to the Stanley Cup.

A 3-2 win in Game 1 sent 18,000 Anaheim Ducks of Anaheim fans home in a tizzy. Of course, the other 9,982,000 citizens in the Los Angeles area are probably wondering what all the fuss is about.

If they even noticed.

You can get the details of the actual game anywhere. How the Senators ran out of steam in the third period. How the Ducks came out and punished everything in sight. How 5 on 5 the Ducks carried the play and killed a key 5 on 3. How it was a very entertaining hockey game...

But I want to talk about the national anthems.

The Ducks brought in some smokin' hot blonde to belt out a fabulous rendition of "O Canada". Very talented. This girl is going places. The next big sensation!

In fact, I believe she could be a star with her mouth closed. With mouth open, the sky's the limit.

Then, someone decided to de-thaw and wheel out Stephen Stills to perform the American national anthem. Steve is apparently a two-time inductee to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Let's just say last night's performance will not qualify him for a third trip to Cleveland.

Ducks 3, Senators 2 - Do you believe in miracles? We're almost there. Sunny, surf-city-adjacent Anaheim drew another step closer to Lord Stanley's trophy by beating Ottawa (a real, honest-to-goodness Canadian team) in game one of the NHL finals. The Senators managed only 20 shots on goal, but connected on one of their three in the first period. Anaheim equaled before intermission, but lost the lead again in the second. The third was all Ducks, with the winning goal coming at 2:51 left to play.

Mariners 12, Angels 5 - It seems like to only bad team the Halos have faced lately is the Yankees. Seattle is on a nasty tear with 50 (!) runs in their last five games. They piled on a dozen on Memorial Day with 8 of their 15 hits coming from the bottom third of the order (Ichiro was held to one). The Angels struggled by leaving ten men on base and committing two errors in the field.

Beckham Watch - The blond one has spoken, but didn't say anything new. What is new? His recall to the UK national squad that may cause issues with loca playing time. At least he won't have to kick it at altitude.

Elsewhere - Kobe, tired from taking all the shots on the court, decides to Here's why ... Extortion attempt on Bart Starr by Young (and old, she is) ... Maybe she should have played granny basketball, instead.

AP photo by Kevork Djansezian.

Hey LA, Welcome to the Stanley Cup Finals!

The last time hockey was seen nationally on a channel that you're familiar with was May 19th on NBC. Of course, as everyone knows, that game between the Ottawa Senators and the Buffalo Sabres went into overtime. And somehow, during the overtime, the pucks of hockey were magically transformed into the ponies of the Preakness.

In case you’re still wondering who won that series, the Senators scored in overtime to book their ticket to the Finals. Three days later the darlings of the Los Angeles area sports scene, the Anaheim Ducks, dispatched the venerated Detroit Red Wings to set up what should be a titanic battle for sports most honored trophy.

That was six days ago. Six freakin’ days ago. Why the wait, sports fans? Well, that very same network who deemed juiced-up equines to be more favorable than the Fastest Game on Earth decided this delay best suited their nebulous interests.

The Finals now get underway May 28th - today. This is a time of the year where even the ground in Ottawa is beginning to thaw. These days, the folks in The OC are just as likely to attend tonight's opener at the Honda Center to be in close proximity to a large chunk of ice as the game itself.

Perhaps you don’t have Stanley Cup fever yet. It’s ok. I don’t blame you. The mess I described above is just one of many reasons why perhaps you have yet to start your Scott Niedermayer George-Clooney-in-Syriana-esque playoff beard.

But I am here to tell you folks that there IS a lot to cheer for in this Stanley Cup Final. The Stanley Cup Playoffs is the most grueling grind in professional sports. Many of these guys have AAA roadmaps carved into their faces from the previous rounds. It takes 16 wins to hoist the Cup in a sport where there is always someone on the ice more than willing to take your head off with a well placed elbow.

NHL players do not get paid for participating in the playoffs. These guys are doing it for free. They do it for the love of the game. They do it for the Stanley Cup.

The specter of leaving Pedro in the game will never be erased if Grady Little keeps managing like this.

Going into the series, I thought the Dodgers could easily handle the Cub’s offense and take advantage of the Cub’s horrible pitching particularly their bullpen. I expected a Dodger’s sweep with the score being about 10-2 each game. What actually happened was three games where the Dodgers had to come from behind late in the game.

The Dodgers won Friday night’s game despite Grady’s (mis)managing, lost Saturday’s game because of Grady’s (mis)managing and won Sunday’s game because of the Cub’s horrendous bullpen.

Being at the game Friday night, I was witness to the Dodger’s bullpen uncharacteristically faltering while giving up seven runs in the seventh. When Grady sent in Wilson Betemit to pinch hit for pitcher Prozac in the bottom of the sixth with one out and a runner on third, Prozac had only thrown 83 pitches while leading 5-1. There was no reason to take Prozac out the game.

Then in the top of that fateful seventh inning after Joel Beimel gave up a single and got Cesar Izturis to fly out to Useless, Grady put in Yhency Brazoban to pitch to Matt Murton for a righty-righty match-up. A walk, three doubles, three singles, another double and an error later, a 5-1 lead turned to an 8-5 deficit. Grady should have Beimel pitch himself out of the jam, but he simply outthought himself and mismanaged the entire inning.

The saving grace for the Dodgers came from the Cub’s bullpen which have proven unable to hold a lead if their life depended on it. The Dodgers went on to win the game 9-8.

Dodgers 9, Cubs 8 - With a five run lead heading into the sixth, things looked pretty good for Los Angeles. Two innings later they were staring up at an 8-5 deficit. No sweat, they just poured on four more runs in the bottom of the eighth to go ahead for good. Of all the lines to come out of the game, this one from the AP may be the most promising news for the Boys in Blue: "Dodgers C Russell Martin leads all NL catchers in average (.331), runs scored (31), RBIs (33), stolen bases (eight), walks (21) and hits (51)."

Angels 10, Yankees 6 - After some rough games, it was nice for LAnaheim to play a lowly sub-.500 team that they have a winning record against over the last few years. A team that's been a laughingstock lately. A team that's ... the New York Yankees? Yup. The Angels hung a ten spot on the Pinstripes and added some big defensive plays to hand a winning record to Jered Weaver (4-3). Weaver gave up three runs on seven hits in just five innings, but when you've got firepower like the Halos had in this one, it doesn't matter.

Elsewhere - Oh say can't you sing ... Becks may be back on the England national team.

AP photo by Kevork Djansezian.

Tiger 12, Angels 0 - Detroit started looking tired after running around the bases so much. They shelled Anaheim by scoring in five different innings and put up 20 runs in the final two games of the series. This led Angel fans to utter words never spoken before:

"Thank goodness we're done with Detroit. Now we can beat up on the Yankees!"

Elsewhere - Turns out the Dodger parking problem may not really be a problem at all ... At least one Gagne is still an ace ... Major offseason NFL upset in Seattle ... NFL kicker tries to figure out what to do with the big offseason called rejection.

Is That It? - Yup, it was a slow night.

AP photo by Duane Burleson.

My Boyfriend hit a homer, and the Dodgers managed a win!!!

There. That’s my quota of happy talk for now. There is something that’s leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I’m wondering why the Dodgers called up third baseman Tony Abreu from the minor leagues yesterday.

As a team, the Dodgers have many glaring deficiencies: no power hitting, inconsistency at the third base position and the worst defense in the National League. Bring up Abreu doesn’t really solve any of these problems. In fact it makes it more confusing.

Let’s start with Nomar. He made his name in Boston as a shortstop. To address the third base position the Dodgers could simply move Nomar there. Both Cal Ripken Jr. and Alex Rodriguez have made a successful transition from shortstop to third. One could argue that putting Nomar in that position will increase his chances of getting injured, but doesn’t he have that chance every time he swings on the first pitch? Putting Nomar in third will allow the languishing James Loney to be called up to the team.

Abreu is traditionally a second baseman or a shortstop. He moved to third base exclusively since Andy La Roche was called up two weeks ago. Having Abreu play third base doesn’t make sense defensively especially since he made a throwing error on the first play of the game Tuesday night.

Ducks 4, Red Wings 3 - Everybody thought hockey in Orange County was like a snowball in hell: Funny to say, totally unrealistic, and full of cliche (remember those "Mighty" days?). Well, it's starting to get a little chilly down south. The Ducks knocked of the "Mighty" Red Wings in six games, surviving a three goal scoring barrage by Detroit in the third period. Anaheim will host the Ottawa Senators in game one of the NHL Finals on Monday.

Angels 6, Tigers 3 - Some offensive fire power in the last frame wasn't enough to help Detroit beat Anaheim in baseball, either.

Dodgers 3, Brewers 2 - The Dodgers snapped a four game skid thanks to a go-ahead homer by Russell Martin. The LAist gang is starting to wonder if Jimmy will be able to write about his boyfriend for much longer. If he keeps playing like this, Jimmy might get carpal tunnel or his keyboard might break.

Sparks 81, Sky 64 - The Sparks beat Chicago to open their first season without Lisa Leslie. LAist didn't watch, nor did the AP compile a box score on Yahoo. Heck, Yahoo was reporting that the score was 72-56. Apparently they're as excited about the WNBA as everybody else.

Elsewhere - Clippers even lost the NBA lottery, getting the 14th pick (out of 14 non-playoff teams) ... LAist seems to be a day ahead of Deadspin once again, but we love them and will keep linking to our favorite stories from them.

AP photo by Chris Carlson.

The odds of winning the California SuperLotto jackpot are 1 in 41,416,353.

The odds of the Clippers winning tonight’s NBA draft lottery are not quite as infinitesimal at 1 in 200, but still seem highly unlikely. The prize? It’s not quite a gazillion dollars, but in basketball terms, it is close: the chance to choose either 35-year old Ohio St. center Greg Oden and Texas swingman Kevin Durant, two of the most hyped players in several years to enter the draft, whom many believe have the ability to singlehandedly turn a franchise’s fortunes around.

When we last left the Clippers, they had kept their season alive until the last game, when a win by the Golden St. Warriors officially eliminated the Clips from playoff contention. What that meant was that the Clippers were the best team not to make the playoffs, and consequently given the lowest possibility of winning the draft lottery (only teams that finish out of the playoffs are eligible for the lottery). In other words, they sucked just bad enough to not put themselves in a position to get better.

For non-basketball fanatics, the NBA draft lottery is used to designate the top three picks in the June 28 draft. The teams are ranked based on reverse order of finish, with the team with the worst record getting the highest number of combinations of a set of four ping-pong balls. Each subsequent team gets fewer combinations, and thus a lower probability of winning.

Brewers 9, Dodgers 5 - When your dad is a baseball icon, how do you step out of his shadow? If you're Tony Gwynn, Jr. and Prince Fielder, you pick up a bat and pummel the Dodgers. Actually, Milwaukee has been pummelling everybody lately -- the Blue Crew were just the latest victim. Gwynn capped a big sixth inning for the Brew Crew with a two run double, and Fielder went yard twice to tie the NL lead with 14 homers on the season. Jeff Kent and Luis Gonzales also found the cheap seats, but that wasn't enough to prevent Brett Tomko from falling to 1-5 on the year.

Elsewhere - You know you whup'd your opponent when their players keep defecting ... LAist is still getting Bay to Breakers photos off of our camera, but this madness at the Preakness reminds us a little of the big race ... There's no such thing as a confidential email.

AP photo by Gus Ruelas.

Ducks 2, Red Wings 1, OT - Down 1-0 with a few ticks left on the clock, Scott Niedermayer hit the back of the net to forced OT. Tweve minutes later Teemu Selanne scored and gave the Ducks a 3-2 series lead over Detroit. Anaheim could win the Western Conference Finals at home on Tuesday night.

Angels 4, Dodgers 1 - LAnaheim swept the Freeway Series by a combined score of 19-4. On Sunday Kelvim Escobar pitched eight scoreless innings with five strikeouts and two walks. Derek Lowe also lasted eight frames. The Angels now lead the AL West by four, while the Dodger's NL West lead is down to one.

Elsewhere - Has Triathlon found its Anna Kournikova? ... Balk, explained ... Soccer star reaches 1,000 goals, or does he? No comment from Pele, but he did have a few things to say about Beckham.

AP photo by Paul Sancya.

I dated a guy back in my days in Santa Barbara. Let’s call him Paul. We met at a party my friend hosted for an occasion that currently slips my mind. Actually I can’t even remember the exact location of the house.

We were playing this drinking game called Moose. It involved a quarter, an ice cube tray and a pitcher filled with a bit of everything we were drinking and a quarter. He kept on forcing me to drink, and at one point I muttered something stupid like, “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

We both decided to go out for a smoke and instantly hit it off. Next thing I know his tongue was down my throat and we were starting a torrid love affair. Sort of.

There were times when the sex was absolutely mind blowing. Just looking at him would get me aroused, and we would end up in a big heaping pile of sweat and bones. Then there were the times that looking at him would make me a little queasy. I would ask myself, “I’m dating THAT?!”

Needless to say we didn’t last a month.

I’m sure you’re wondering how this relates to the Dodgers.

Lakers? Out. Clipper? Out. Hometown hero Baron Davis? Out.

What's an NBA fan from Los Angeles to do?

Go to the Santa Monica Pier. NBA Nation is on tour and they're here for the weekend. You never know who might show up. Rumor has it the Laker's Andrew Bynum and Kwame Brown were spotted on Saturday. On Sunday the Clip's Cuttino Mobley is scheduled to be there from 2:00pm-3:00pm.

Among the hoops themed activities, the NBA Skills Challenge Competition will select one person to represent LA in the finals in Philadelphia on July 4th.

Hold up. Free trip to Philly for Independence Day? We can work with that.

According to the NBA's website, the trip includes roundtrip airfare for two and a hotel for three nights. Not only will you see a major celebration in the city that brought us the Declaration of Independence and Constitution, you'll be part of the big show. Expectations should be high, since Philly's Welcome America events are getting an overhaul.

Of course, none of that matters if you don't have the skills. You can prove yours on Sunday from 10:00am-6:00pm at the Santa Monica Pier. Kids of all ages can participate in the festivities, but you've got to be at least 21 to win the trip.

Ducks 5, Red Wings 3 - Reeling from a nasty home blowout and with their best defender suspended for a game, Anaheim pulled off a big win to even the Western Conference finals against Detroit. The Red Wings actually dominated on shots (39-23), but the Angels found the back of the net more often.

Angels 7, Mariners 3 - Things are moving along pretty well for Bartolo Colon. The LAnaheim pitcher is 5-0 after starting the season late due to an injury. He allowed three runs in seven innings agaist Seattle, and got some help from teammate Vladamir Guerrero's two run shot in the first inning. Next up the Angels play the Dodgers in a SoCal showdown.

Elsewhere - Hollywood loves drama ... LAist loves a blog that makes us laugh ... Creepy news in a trial about a creepy looking dude. Plus, notice the bottom of the NBC Sports article allows you to share via Facebook. When did that happen?

AP photo by Mark Avery.

Last night's game was an exciting evening filled with cracked bats and ass cracks. Where to start, where to start? There's just so much to look at. Okay, we'll go in alphabetical order.

She must be a Cardinals fan because she's showing all of us her Pujol.

Dodgers 5, Cardinals 4 - Much as LAist would like to praise the Dodgers and Wilson Betemit's pinch hit three run homer, we're a little skeptical of any win that comes against Kip Wells. Who? Since the 1995 season this journeyman pitcher has earned one win for each of three different teams. That's not overwhelming. What is? His league leading eight losses and 39 earned runs this season. He lasted five innings against Los Angeles, averaging 25 pitches per frame.

Angels 5, Mariners 0 - The Angels still can't seem to stop Ichiro Suzuki (2-4 with a stolen base following a 5 hit performance on Tuesday), but John Lackey was able to effectively shut down the rest of Seattle. He retired 14 in a row while throwing six shutout innings. Offensively, every LAnaheim player in the game reached base.

Also In LaLaLand - Major Laker drama playing out on KLAC ... How long does it take to drive from New York to LA? 32 hours ... USC alum Carson Palmer likes hot dogs ... In honor of UCLA alum Baron Davis, it's the best beards in sports.

Elsewhere - Sports Illustrated looks at their favorite strange stories of the last school year ... The latest strange photos of Brady Quinn are out, and if you want to look at the actual wedding album it's clearly not a photoshop/fark ... Nobody knows how much Joe Pa makes, but we bet Pete Carroll makes more ... Everybody head for the quad, we're going streaking!

AP photo by Chris Pizzello.

I was really reluctant to go to the game Tuesday night. For starters I’m typing this in my new living room where boxes of books and junk are stacked up next to me awaiting a new home. I have thawed chicken in the fridge that waiting to be part of pad thai that I’ve been wanting to cook. And after watching the horror that was Monday night’s game, you can understand my reluctance. In the end I decided to go and just forget about all of these things and was treated to a somewhat wild game.

First off I must congratulate DUI. He’s the first Dodger in LA history to have three consecutive four-hit games. He went from batting .214 on Saturday to .297. That's an impressive feat to say the very least.

The Dodgers’ bats reared their ugly heads Tuesday night in the bottom of the third. After Prozac gave up four runs on four hits in the top of the third giving the Cardinals a 4-3 lead, the Dodgers responded by getting six runs off of six hits to take the lead for good at 9-4.

This led to a great opportunity for Hong-chih Kuo to get some big-league practice in the seventh inning after being called up today from Las Vegas*. He got hit up by the Cards for three runs and four hits, but with Bob’s Big Boy warming up in the pen the game was still out of reach.

I was actually happy the Cards made a mini-comeback just so I could see what the Dodgers would play for Saito as he came in to save the game. The choice: George Thorogood & the Destroyer’s “Bad to the Bone”. Knowing Saito’s goofy smile after he notches his saves I really didn’t feel it was appropriate. The best part of his entrance was seeing his name in Kanji.

B-Dizzle Up-Dizzle - LA's last hope is out of the NBA playoffs. The Utah Jazz beat the Golden State Warriors 100-87 and took the series in five games. It was a battle until the end, and we mean battle.  There were 50 personal fouls, 31 against the Warriors. Several were flagrants and technicals.

Ducks 5, Red Wings 0 - After stealing home ice advantage with a split in Hockeytown, USA, the Ducks were cooked when they returned home. The most impressive performance came from the Red Wing's Tomas Holmstrom, who found the net twice before leaving the game to get 14 stitches. Unlike Steve Nash, he returned a few minutes later and got an assist.

Dodgers 9, Cardinals 7 - Los Angeles beat St. Louis for the tenth straight time and Derek Lowe evened his record at 4-4, but the real story was Rafael Furcal. After starting off the season with a nasty slump, he's belted four hits in each of the last three games. It's almost like he's beating the pants off of his opponents. Almost.

Angels 11, Mariners 3 - This was anything but a pitcher's duel. Kelvim Escobar gave up 8 runs (6 earned) in just 2 and 1/3 innings of work for the Angels, and Felix Hernandez tossed 78 pitches in only 3 and 2/3 innings. Orlando Cabrera was 3-for-3 at the plate for Anaheim, but Ichiro Suzuki showed him up by going 5-for-5.

Elsewhere - The Lakers, Clippers, and Baron are out of the playoffs and now it looks like Leo may be having trouble on his home court ... If you want a nice place to see a game and cant afford one in your back yard, this would be a pretty sweet roadtrip ... It's hard out here for a pimp ... And hard for a politician who doesn't know hometown heroes ... Scott Boras is rich, but he's also crazy.

AP photo by Douglas C. Pizac.

Can I get an 8-Clap please? We are talking about the most accomplished athletic program in NCAA history.

UCLA Women's Water Polo won a 5-4 victory over Stanford last Sunday afternoon to capture the 100th NCAA Championship title for the school. The women's team has taken home the top honor 3 years in a row with an astonishing three-season record of 90-6.

Bravo ladies.

Photo by philroeder via Flickr.

You can still root for LA's Golden Boy.

After leading the Warriors to one of the greatest series upsets in the history of American sports (eighth seeded Golden State knocked off top ranked Dallas in six), Baron Davis went from star to hero. It looked like he might be headed for further greatness against Utah, but on Sunday things took a turn for the worse. He was held to 15 points as the Jazz pulled ahead 3-1 in the series. Towards the end of the game he threw a nasty elbow that was expected to draw response from infamous NBA disciplinarian Stu Jackson. Today Stu announced that he would upgrade the penalty, but that Baron can play tonight in Game 5 of the Golden State-Utah series.

Even though we think you may have trimmed your beard a little too much, LAist isn't giving up on you Boom Dizzle. Why? You make us laugh. And you represent LA. You're straight outta' Compton. You played high school ball in Santa Monica and college ball at UCLA. You're Godfather to The Game's son and you say that Snoop Dogg is "like my uncle."

LA may not have a team in the playoffs anymore, but we've got you, B-Diddy. Good luck tonight!

Tune in tonight at 7:30pm on TNT (Time Warner channel 42, and DirecTV channel 245).

The Dodgers lost to that pitcher. Let me just say that he is one ugly man. That’s all. You can come up with your own insults. Trust me, my friends and I made up plenty ourselves.

Back to the game. There is only one word to describe the pitching performance of Brett Tomko: PATHETIC.

Another word to describe Grady Little’s managing decisions: ABHORRENT.

Before I could settle in and focus on the game, Tomko gave up six runs in the first two innings and was finally pulled in the third after giving up two more runs. For those of you deficient on your math skills, that’s a total of eight runs in 2 1/3 innings. He gave up eight runs to a team with the lowest batting average in the majors (.234) and every other offensive statistic imaginable in baseball.

Strike one for Grady: In the middle of the second inning I was calling for Tomko to be pulled, but I saw no one warming up in the bullpen. Why was no one warming up? It was more than obvious that Tomko’s pitching was more like Bush’s Iraq war plan. Also given how well the bullpen has been pitching, why not get someone in there right away? When Grady finally got Rudy Seanez in there, it was too late. I have to give the bullpen credit because they gave up zero runs in 6 2/3 innings. NONE.

Strike two for Grady: Bottom of the ninth with the bases loaded and two outs, Olmedo Saenz, the #3 hitter, is walked making the score 8-4. Time for the #4 hitter Jeff Kent, right? Oh no, Grady substituted Ramon Martinez for Kent in the seventh inning. This is the same Jeff Kent who hit a solo homer in the fourth inning. Martinez, by the way, is hitting .170. So you can guess what happens.

I don’t have anything more to say about this game, so thankfully Grady Little doesn’t get struck out (unlike the Dodgers when the bases are loaded). I just want to thank the people who gave me free tickets to the infield loge section for tonight’s game. I’ll be there tomorrow night in my regular top deck section.

Well, at least now we know. Dodgers pitching staff, take note. Give up 7 runs, you can stay in the game. Give up 7 runs and then giving up another hit and Grady picks up the phone to the bullpen. Oh wait, our long reliever is now our starter because Schmidt is on the DL. That's okay. We'll call in Saenez. Rudy comes in and next thing you know it's 8-0 in the 3rd inning (charge that 8th run to Tomko, who gave up 8 in 2.1 innings) and you're feeling like someone just kicked you in the stomach.

It's been a good year for the UCLA Bruins. Not only did they beat crosstown rival USC on the gridiron (and spoil the Trojan's national championship bid in the process), they reached the final four in men's basketball and soccer, women's volleyball and soccer, and placed fourth in women's gymnastics. But there was something bigger bruin' in Westwood.

UCLA won a national championship title in women's water polo with a 5-4 victory over Stanford on Sunday. It was the Bruin's third straight championship in the sport and fifth in the last seven years.

More impressive than their effort in the pool, the victory gave the university their 100th NCAA team championship. They are the first school to reach that milestone.

Dodgers 10, Reds 5 - All nine Dodger starters had at least one hit or run scored, giving the team moms something to be proud of. Cincinnati's Ken Griffey, Jr. didn't disappoint, either, going deep on Mother's Day for the sixth time in his career.

Ducks 4, Red Wings 3, OT - The Ducks evened the Western Conference Finals against Detroit at a game each and claimed home ice advantage heading into the next two games in Anaheim. Mrs. Niedermayer could be proud of both of her sons, as Rob scored in the first period and Scott secured the win with a goal in the fifteenth minute of overtime.

Rangers 7, Angels 6 - Eric Gagne edged back into the minds of local baseball fans by shutting down the Angels in the ninth and earning his first win since 2005. Nelson Cruz hit a home run in the bottom half of the frame to steal a win for Texas, who had dropped five in a row to Anaheim. The Angels were potent at the plate, with four home runs among their 13 hits. Switch-hitting Gary Matthews, Jr. went yard from both sides.

Lynx 63, Sparks 55 - Los Angeles is excited for mother-to-be Lisa Leslie, but could have used her on the court as they lost their pre-season finale to Minnesota. Taj McWilliams-Franklin missed her kids on Mother's Day but still didn't see any playing time.

Elsewhere - If Reggie Bush needs advice on dating Hollywood debs, he can always ask Matt Leinart ... Junior is getting a little old for this ... David Beckham raises awareness for missing child ... Donald Trump goes after Mark Cuban. That's not the only way to mix the NBA and bad hair.

AP photo by Mark J. Terrill.

Angels 8, Indians 0 - Anaheim's anemic offense finally looked hungry with a run total matching their previous three games combined. They scored eight against Cleveland, five coming in just one inning. Gary Matthews Jr. smacked a three-run homer in the third inning outburst and Jose Molina stole home in the next frame. Kelvim Escobar pitched a complete game shutout, notching seven strikeouts and giving up no walks. The Angels are now off to Texas for a four game series.

Marlins 3, Dodgers 0 - This was as frustrating as losses come for Derek Lowe. He pitched a gem into the bottom of the ninth, striking out six and allowing only four hits. On Lowe's 94th pitch, Josh Willingham sent a three run shot out of the park. The other side of the boxscore was just as impressive. Sergio Mitre allowed only three hits through eight innings and Taylor Tankersly hurled a perfect ninth for the Marlins. The teams split the four game series. Los Angeles will return home to start a three game set against the Reds on Friday.

Beckham Watch - Becks might not be able to lay claim to the greatest goal ever, because this one is unreal. At least the media will focus on the new digs and new doo.

Elsewhere - Everything that's fit to print about sports ... Things that barely fit on Cleveland cheerleaders.

AP photo by Chris Carlson.

Dodgers 5, Marlins 3 - The bad news for Los Angeles this season is that a low percentage of their baserunners make it home. On Wednesday they left the bases juiced three times and stranded a total of 13. The good news is that so many Dodgers are getting on base, they don't need all of them to score. Brett Tomko helped his own cause by bunting home a suicide squeeze, but was more impressive with a no-hitter going into the sixth. He started to unravel by allowing five hits and three runs before being pulled in the seventh, but still picked up his first win of the season.

Angels 3, Indians 2 - The first place Angels snapped a three game losing streak with a come from behind victory over Cleveland. The Indians scored twice in the first, but Jared Weaver buckled down after that. Anaheim didn't get on the board until the seventh when Kendry Morales smacked a two run homer. One inning later, Gary Matthews Jr. hit a solo shot to win the game.

Elsewhere - $1,000 seats available at the LA Coliseum ... Brady is a chump and he still needs a haircut ... USC's Richard Wood elected to College Football Hall of Fame. You can call him Batman, just don't call him Dick ... Speaking of Hall of Famers (to be), Rickey Henderson still wants to play, but he's also just a fan.

AP photo by Wilfredo Lee.

Cinco De Mayo kicked off the summer drinking season and now we've got Memorial Day and the Fourth of July just around the corner. What better way to relieve the summer heat than with a nice cold brew? Suds are once again pouring in the Dodger Stadium bleachers. Weekend warriors are preparing their roadtrips to Bay to Breakers, where sobriety is as optional as the clothing. Yes sports fans, it's time to get your drink on. But what about participants?

Los Angeles may have more recreational athletes than any other city in America. We get up before the sun to kayak, trail run, SCUBA, and of course do more traditional things like golf, shoot hoops, or play organized soccer. With such an active lifestyle, happy hour and all-night binges often don't fit into the schedule. The only way to party is to party on the run ... literally. Groups like the Hash House Harriers bring a healthy thirst to their weekly workouts that can only be quenched by their favorite golden brew. Volleyball tournaments like Lushness kick off by downing a few beers. But the pinnacle of athletic drinking events? The Hermosa Ironman finishes with a six-pack chug after a mile each of running and paddling a surf board.

With plenty of debauchery on the horizon, LAist can't stress enough that sports, booze, and the California sun can be a dangerous cocktail. Especially in the wake of Josh Hancock's death, we should all be aware of the problems that caused teams like the Chicago Cubs and St. Louis Cardinals to ban booze in the clubhouse. Always have a designated driver -- otherwise your cellmate will look nothing like Paris Hilton. Remember that workouts and heat make you tired and increase the effects of alcohol. Under such conditions, it's easy to go over the legal limit on fewer drinks that you might be used to. Also, be sure to hydrate well. Both alcohol and exercise cause you to loose electrolytes, so water alone is not enough. In fact, just drinking water can be deadly. If you plan on participating in any of these events, use a sports drink or other fuel high in thing like sodium, potassium, and calcium. Be safe, and don't forget the first unwritten rule of every sport.

AP photo by Jonathan Hayward.

Marlins 6, Dodgers 5 - When the Dodgers return to Chavez Ravine on Friday they'll be exposed to smoke, haze, and bad condition caused by nearby fires -- just like they're experiencing in Florida. The Marlins are hosting Los Angeles and are suffering from similar early summer blazes near the stadium. Some observed that the conditions are like a fog in San Francisco, but worsened by dry throats and stinging eyes. On Tuesday night the Dodgers watched a 4-1 lead go up in smoke by allowing two unearned runs and a walkoff RBI single in the bottom of the ninth by Miguel Cabrera. With all due respect to Bachelor Bob, we think it's pretty cool that Florida put in pitcher Dontrelle Willis as a pinch hitter, even though he hit a sac bunt into a forceout.

Indians 5, Angels 1 - Anaheim would like to catch fire in their batting order. The Angels were held to three hits against Cleveland as Cliff Lee hurled a complete game. He did bonk Mike Napoli, whose double was Anaheim's only extra base hit. The Associated Press reported that brush fires were also visible from The Big A.

Elsewhere - LA metro area provides almost as many top 100 draft picks this year as Florida or Texas ... What do you do with seven Olympic medals? Get naked! ... The Big Ten is blazing a trail in TV deals. Pac 10, are you watching? ... We finally figured out why they're the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim ... How do you combine the high scoring of soccer with the fast pace of golf? Somebody found a way ... If you think baseball is boring, here's a way to kick it up a notch.

AP photo by Wilfredo Lee.

D.C. United 2, Chivas USA 1 - The MLS gets no respect. ESPN and SI.com lump it in with their general soccer coverage. Yahoo! Sports has them listed just below the WNBA. They might not party like their Euro counterparts, but LAist.com is willing to give Chivas USA top billing tonight. So here it goes ... after a scoreless first half, winless D.C. United found the net twice (the second on a penalty kick) and Chivas mounted a small comeback. They almost pulled off in the 88th minute when Troy Perkins nearly botched a save for United. Alright, it was a slow night in sports, and soccer is a game that you need to watch to enjoy.

Dodgers 6, Marlins 1 - Los Angeles has a lucky Penny. His name is Brad, and he improved to 4-0 with a win over Florida. He fried the Marlins with high heat, most of his pitches clocking in the mid-90s. His 14 strikeouts were the most by a Dodger in seven years, half of them coming against the first nine batters. He also helped his own cause with two RBI. No surprise that the media is paying their respects to Penny. Jeff Kent had a strong outing with a homer, double, and two runs. Rookie Andy LaRouche had two ribbies, a sac fly, and a stolen base.

Local Odds and Ends - The Anaheim Ducks will take on the Red Wings in the NHL's Western Conference Finals after Detroit put away San Jose in six games ... UCLA failed to make ESPN's top hoops teams of the past decade ... LA Times sports writer changed gender, may have made brilliant career move. And if you're a guy who wants to know what women think, just ask a girl, guy, oh, just click here.

Elsewhere - Diego Corrales, a boxer once known for coming back from the dead, is dead. LAist respects the fast and furious lifestyle that he led, and now wishes the best for his family and loved ones (especially his pregnant wife)... Here's a You Tube video we'd love to find ... MLB.com looks at the best home runs of the week ... Random sports section of the day: Arkansas Gazette ... We're all confused by SI's latest Power Ranking. Is it to rank the best, worst, or most influential/notable? Is it supposed to be fans, athletes, or both? And how the heck did Paris Hilton get in there?

AP photo by Linda Spillers.

I collected baseball cards growing up. Baseball cards taught me math (ER*9/IP=ERA!!). Baseball cards taught me the art of negotiation ("I'll give you a Griffey Upper Deck rookie for that McGwire '84 Olympic card"). And, perhaps most importantly, baseball cards taught me last names. From Assenmacher to Zeile, I know 'em all. While I typically forget someone's first name 30 seconds after meeting them, their last names always seem to stick with me ("Wait, your last name's DeJesus? Any relation to David? No? How about Ivan??").

Then, of course, I discovered girls & that was the end of that.

As I got a bit older, I realized that girls didn't really need to suck up all of my time. But baseball cards seemed a bit . . . silly. Thus, like any self-respecting sports fan, I've spent the last decade or so playing fantasy sports. Baseball, football, basketball . . . whatever's in season. When LAist requested someone cover the wonderful world of fantasy sports, I leapt (well, not really leapt, but shrugged disarmingly) at the chance.

So anyway, for those obsessive (and not so obsessive) fantasy sports fans out there, LAist will spend the rest of the summer helping you sort your Kevin Millars from your Kevin Millwoods. For those of you who think "Christina" when you hear the last name Aguilera, you'll want to move along to the next restaurant or indie rock band review, as I guarantee this column will bore you to tears.

Ah, but for the Rick Aguilera fans (fan?) out there, come join me after the jump for our first look at the 2007 fantasy baseball season.

Braves 4, Dodgers 0 - Atlanta jumped out to an early lead, which is something you don't want to give John Smoltz. The starter-turned-closer-turned-starter hurled seven shutout innings just ten days ahead of his 40th birthday. The Jones boys (Andruw and Chipper) didn't produce a hit, but combined for three walks and scored three runs. The Dodgers had ten base runners and even juiced the bases in the fourth with nobody out. Smoltz still held them to a bagel.

Angels 5, White Sox 1 - Mike Scioscia is now the winningest manager in Anaheim history, reaching victory 626 on Friday night to pass Bill Rigney. The Angels jumped out to an early lead again and stayed ahead the whole way. They also stayed a game ahead of Seattle, who beat the Yankees 15-11 despite falling behind 5-0 in the first. The game's major subplot was Darin Erstad's return to Angel Stadium, where he had played the previous 11 seasons before going to Chicago. His old stomping grounds didn't look so familiar anymore. In the second he lost a fly ball in the outfield to allow an RBI double. A few minutes later when Pale Hose were up, he over slid second base and was tagged out.

Elsewhere - Cardinals have gotten on the bandwagon of banning alcohol in their clubhouse after the Josh Hancock's death turned out to be alcohol related ... Speaking of bandwagons, is everybody on Golden State's? Based on this picture, it looks like one guy is missing out ... Matt Leinart pulls a Matt Leinart. Seriously, we should start calling anything that seems really Hollywood a "Leinart" ... At least this story reminds us why we love sports.

AP photo by John Bazemore.

Ducks 2, Canucks 1, 2OT - The Ducks won the series in five games but it felt more like six. Vancouver pushed Anaheim to overtime in three of the games, two of those going into double OT. The final game featured a jaw dropping 63 shots by the Ducks, who only faced 27 in return. Roberto Luongo had 56 saves for Vancouver for a 96.6% save percentage. Five shots were blocked by Dany Sabourin who filled in when Luongo had equipment problems. When you face that much action, something is bound to break.

Royals 5, Angels 2 - Anaheim wasn't just looking to break even in Kansas City, but that's all they could manage. The Royals salvaged a split after dropping the first two games to the West's top team. Vladimir Guerrero's hot streak continued with another first inning homer, but the next 17 batters couldn't find their way on base. Reggie Willits eventually found his way on base in the ninth, extending his hit streak to ten games.

Elsewhere - The Dodgers are auctioning the game-worn jerseys from all players who rocked #42 on Jackie Robinson Day. And yes, all the proceeds will go to charity ... The big fight is on Saturday. Mayweather is a 2-to-1 favorite in Vegas, but a lot of experts are picking De La Hoya because of his experience and natural size (5'-11" compared to 5'- 8.75"). All we know is that the largest either of these guys has ever been is 154 pounds. What's up with these weight classes, anyway? ... The Hoff isn't the only one struggling with beer ... College basketball scores are about to get lower ... Tom Brady pulls a David Beckham. Why can't the ladies-men pick the rick baseball cap?

AP photo by Chris Carlson.

"Do something and do it now. Personally for me, it’s beyond frustration — three years and still being at ground zero. This summer’s a big summer. We have to see what direction we want to take as an organization and make those steps and make them now."
--Kobe Bryant Wednesday night

Kobe Bryant is frustrated. He should be. When the Kobe/Shaq feud reached the point that one of them had to go three years ago the choice for Dr. Jerry Buss was pretty simple -- you always take the 26-year-old with the great work ethic over the 30-something guy who shows up out of shape every fall.

(And by the way, don’t even start the “Kobe forced Shaq out” argument, it’s BS. It takes two enormous egos not to tango, and Shaq was far from blameless. Go read Roland Lazenby’s “The Show” to get a balanced picture.)

But when the Lakers went with Kobe, the plan needed to be to rebuild around him and do it quickly, even now his window for a title is probably only four or five years tops. His first three years without Shaq seem wasted, and that has more to do with the organization than Kobe. In the first year, with Rudy Tomjanovich as the coach with his unconcerned defense and shoot-the-three offense, the Laker organization looked like a rudderless ship. Phil Jackson came back and provided direction, but another first-round playoff loss this week shows that he does not have the talent needed to win.

So, what’s next?

It’s not so simple as going out and trading for a superstar like Kevin Garnett (which really is far from simple). The Lakers management has backed itself into somewhat of a corner with the NBA salary cap and can’t just go on a spending spree. Mitch Kupchak is going to need to be smart and clever, although trades are more likely than big free agent signings.

However it gets done, here’s the areas he has to address:

Saturday is going to be huge.

I’m not even talking about Cinco de Mayo. Granted, Cinco de Mayo will be a huge day of cultural celebration for the many Mexican-Americans in LA, as well as the many boozers who will be, um, celebrating in their own way by double fisting Coronas.

What I’m talking about is a boxing match.

Wait, a boxing match? Seriously?

Yes, I know, boxing is full of corruption and politics, more notable for its shady promoters like Don King or Hollywood caricatures like Rocky Balboa than anything that actually happens in the ring. And the action is boring and slow as compared to Mixed Martial Arts like UFC and PRIDE fighting. Quite frankly, boxing is soon to go the way of the dinosaur, the dodo, and professional hockey (what, the NHL still exists, you say?).

For one day at least, things will be different. Saturday night's fight between hometown hero (or antihero, depending on your perspective) Oscar De La Hoya and Floyd Mayweather, Jr. is not just the biggest story in boxing in several years (and quite possibly the last important story about boxing ever), and not just one of the biggest sports stories of the year, but one of the biggest events of the year. The fight itself is only a small part of a broader construct about culture, social class, and history.

Former #1 overall NFL draft pick and infamous egomaniac** Keyshawn Johnson was a wideout for the Carolina Panthers as of last weekend. When his team drafted USC receiver Dwayne Jarrett (a fellow Trojan) in the second round, he got excited and started talking about mentoring the new kid. Then Carolina cut Johnson from the team to make room for Jarrett. Ouch.

This may be sweet justice as far as Jarrett is concerned. Towards the end of the clip, he gets called out for not following Johnson's advice about staying in school for another year. Johnson basically implies that had he listened, his draft stock wouldn't have fallen like it did. Look whose stock is falling now.

At least Jarret won't be alone without Keyshawn. Trojan teammate Ryan Kalil was also taken in the second round by the Panthers and another USC alumni, Keary Colbert, has been playing wide receiver in Carolina for three years. Best of all, Jarrett can now be mentored by a slightly more humble player named Steve Smith. That would be Steve Smith the NFL star wide receiver, not to be confused with Steve Smith the USC star wide reciever who was also taken in the second round of this year's draft. Confused? At least you still have your job, unlike Keyshawn.

**If you want to play a drinking game, take a shot everytime Keyshawn says "me" (or makes any other unnecessary personal reference) in this short video clip. It might be a rough evening for you.

If you need to drown your sorrows in something today, maybe a little quality time with Chick will do the trick.

Suns 119, Lakers 110 - Everybody saw this one coming, but at least the Lakers made a game of it. Already trailing 3-1 in the first round of the NBA playoffs, the Lakers faced double-digit deficits for much of the night. However, they pulled within two in the third quarter and five in the fourth thanks to strong performances from Kobe Bryant and Lamar Odom. Kobe had a typical 34 point game, but he needed 33 shots to get there. Odom was more impressive, playing through injuries to score 33 points and pull down 10 boards. Despite the loss, those were some nice numbers to close a long and traumatic season for the Laker forward. For the team, the pressure shifts to the front office. Los Angeles hasn't won a playoff series since 2004 with Shaq, and many people don't think there's enough talent surrounding Kobe for the Lakers to advance next year.

Dodgers 2, Diamondbacks 1 - After Arizona was held scoreless for eight innings, Takashi Saito made it interesting. He allowed two hits and a run in the ninth, but also struck out two and earned his eigth save of the season. Starting in place of the injured Jason Schmidt, Mark Hendrickson had seven strikeouts against three hits and a walk over six innings.

Royals 3, Angels 1 - After taking the first two games of the series, Anaheim dropped the third thanks to a three run homer by Esteban German in the seventh. German is now just 739 career home runs behind Barry Bonds.

Elsewhere - Sports Illustrated headline actually reads "Just 112 teams punished" for failing to meet NCAA academic standards. Something is very, very wrong with that ... Meet the Dolphin's newest running back ... You're relatives should be this cool.

AP photo by Reed Saxon.

There is no better reason to call in sick to work than a Dodgers mid-week day game. So that's just what I did. To make the whole experience even better, the Dodgers won a close one to the joy of everyone except the 3 Arizona fans in the crowd. Ha ha, too bad for them, who's leading the division now, you Sedona wearing punks?

Even though Los Angeles doesn't have an NFL team, that doesn't mean this weekend's draft was irrelevant. Unless, of course, you're Mr. Irrelevant, but we'll get to that in a moment.

Unlike most major cities in this country, LA is the only one that suffers a net loss of talent whenever the draft happens. The closest team is the San Diego Chargers, who didn't exactly have exciting picks. Choosing LSU wideout Craig Davis over USC's Dwayne Jarrett couldn't have made many local fans happy, either. Unable to add players to their own pro team, Angelinos watch as our treasured stars from USC and UCLA matriculate to the next level. It's been extra tough on the Trojans, as a lot of their phenoms leave before their eligibility is up: Jarrett, Mike Williams, Reggie Bush, Lendale White, and so on. Superstar seniors are such an exception that Matt Leinart's decision to stay for his senior year was considered shocking.

This year eight players departed Troy for the pro ranks. Three of them (Jarrett, Steve Smith, and Ryan Kalil) went in the second round and two (Dallas Sartz and Oscar Lua) went on the second day. Three more were undrafted but still signed a few hours after the final round was completed. UCLA only had one player drafted, but he was the highest pick at his position. Bulls-eye kicker Justin Medlock went in the fifth round, surprising many experts who thought the top leg belonged to Colorado deep threat Mason Crosby.

Ducks 3, Canucks 2, OT - Trailing 2-0 in the final period, Anaheim came storming back in Vancouver. All three of the team's goals came within 20 minutes of ice time, the last one just a couple minutes after the puck was dropped in overtime. The Ducks now lead the series 3-1 and can advance with a win at home on Thursday.

Dodgers 2, Diamondbacks 1 - Brad Penny is still smoking hot, hurling six innings of scoreless ball to lower his ERA to 1.64. Unfortunately, he didn't get the win. Jimmy's boyfriend (Russell Martin) scored on a bases loaded walk in the second, but Arizona tied the game in the eighth. The Dodgers won the game on an RBI single by Olmedo Saenz in the bottom of the ninth with two out, driving home Rafael Furcal.

Angels 7, Royals 1 - Vladimir Guerrero smacked a first inning grand slam, helping Anaheim to enjoy another game against lowly Kansas City. Gary Matthews Jr. scored three runs and went 4-for-5. That kind of firepower was a blessing for Bartolo Colon, who earned the W despite giving up five runs in five innings. Maybe he earned a break after suffering through another one of these headlines. The Angels have won 10 of their last 12.

Trojans 5, Bruins 1 - Night games on ABC, that is.

Elsewhere - USC WRs have been struggling in the NFL, now are knocking each other out ... No matter how drunk you get at a ballgame, you aren't as obnoxious as this guy ... Sports and Music, unite! ... It pays to be a famous football coach.

AP photo by Chuck Stoody.

Being a natural born cynic, this is hard to say and even harder to do. But the Dodgers did played a 5 hour long game on Sunday and pulled off a win over the Padres, so I will try to hide my disappointment about getting killed 9 to 1 on Monday night by the Diamondbacks, who are now up on the Dodgers by half a game.

Angels 3, Royals 1 - The West's best faced the league's worst in the first of a four game series. Anaheim prevailed thanks to a solid 6 and 1/3 inning performance by John Lackey. In the hard-luck story of the day, Kansas City first baseman Ryan Shealy finally reached base with a 2 RBI double after going hitless in his last nine at-bats. He had been averaging .096 for the season. A couple plays later, he was thrown out at home plate and left the game with a "tight hamstring." Somebody needs a vacation.

Diamondbacks 9, Dodgers 1 - Suffice to say, this was ugly. Los Angeles knew strong defensive play would be key when facing 2006 Cy Young winner Brandon Webb. Knowing and doing are two different things. Randy Wolf gave up a leadoff home run among 10 hits and six earned runs in just 5 and 2/3 innings. That wasn't much help for a bullpen that just came off a 17 inning marathon in San Diego.

Elsewhere - Floppy Divac stinks even more after this story ... ESPN thinks the Ducks are hot ... The NFL wants to move the Super Bowl overseas, and now the NBA is eyeing China, but the World Cup is teasing us with their backup plan ... Sports Illustrated brings us pics from the All You Can Eat Breakfast Championships, the All You Can Drink youth division, and the All You Can Eat celebrity division.

AP photo by Ed Zurga.