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Plant F-ing is a new Ask LAist series about growing food and flora at home--especially for those renters who do not have access to the luxuries of a yard and only have windows and patios to work with. If you've got a question, please send it to editor[@]laist.com and our in-house garden guru, aka Hand of Gardener, will answer (between rants, perhaps).
I’m not going to wait until one of you gets your compost together to ask me an important question. I’m not going to hear the 4th query on “why do I suck at gardening?” (A: worms hate you). This column needs to be responsive, sure… but let me ask a question that you should be asking: Why do my dahlias have jock itch?
By “Jock itch” I mean powdery mildew. It is a nasty little fungus that pops up this time of year. Late in the season when night temperatures drop and the marine layer settles in… it’s jock itch time for your dahlias, grapes, or squash leaves. The Valley gets it bad, Venice and South bay too. Nighttime moisture is generally bad for your garden and your… er, um “parts” both. Come on, I know you know what I’m sayin’. Powdery mildew--as it’s more commonly called--looks like it sounds. If you have a fuzzy, white/gray film on your plants… that’s it. On your parts...wrong column. Anyway, PM knocks down the producing abilities of all your plants and you’ll need to treat it sooner than later.
Thankfully the organic control is simple and not expensive. 1 part milk to 10 parts water in a spray bottle with a touch of baking soda will knock it back for 3-5 days. If it sounds way too weird… chill. Even Martha Stewart, the Queen-of-all-things-good, approves of the above recipe. Just put it in a spray bottle and spritz away at the affected leaves. Of course your balcony and all of your garden will smell like “old baby bibs”, but for those of you considering actual children it should serve as sufficient warning to avoid that.
Copper sulfate, a commercial formula used by large growers, will last 3-4 weeks. But the old baby bib smelling formula really, really, really works. Save your money. You’ll need it this weekend for the annual Dahlia Show & Sale at the South Coast Botanical in Palos Verde.
My thing, as a grower, IS dahlias. This is the time of year I don my “Member’s Only” jacket, the brown plastic, 80’s era specs & my USS Enterprise Navy polyester Commander cap. I age myself two generations and transform into my inner-geezer as I commune with the 2,000 blooms of the annual show. Dahlia societies tend to attract old dudes… really, really old dudes. If that’s your thing… score! I’m pretty sure they all have done their share of “kill ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out” during WWII and ‘Nam; but now they definitely have set their sights set on blue ribbons, and red and even “the crappy white ones” from the judges. Dahlia shows roll like that. These guys take it waaaay serious--it’s death or glory on the battlefield. Oo-rah and Amen!
Not that I don’t have anything against the AARP Fem mafia at the Iris or Rose meetings. I do love me the Avon-skin-so-soft set serving lemonade at the Begonia club. But dahlia growers tend toward the Viagra-assisted geezer flava’. And there will be a few 4-foot tall Japanese dahlia Ikebana (really) competitors there too, sure, but grandpas outnumber grandmas 3-1. I can’t make up pictures like this… go see for yourself. Semper Fi!
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oh
my
god.
you are so right! why the hell wasn't i asking? my squash leaves have jock itch! they're little guys and just started making their first baby squashies. is this going to affect the taste of my veggies :( ?
another question: ants seem to love my squash plant, but they don't seem to be hurting it. should i try to keep them away?
This is great. Please tell me you knit and crochet too, HoG, 'cause I also want to read your column on that subject.
Some plants are naturally succeptible to powdery mildew and downy mildew. You can encourage mildew by overhead watering since mildew is a fungus and if you are overhead watering and moisture stays on the leaves, you are increasing the likelihod that it will take hold. W/r/t squash, many varieties are naturally succeptible. (it shouldnt affect the flavor of your squash.) But like in the case of the dahlias, drip irrigation instead of overhead watering will decrease the likelihood of mildew. Also, drip irrigation is a much more efficient way of delivering water to the plants. And in these days of water rationing, that is very important.
Nice tip. Milk and baking soda is nature's tinactin, who knew?
ps: planting Dahlias and Squash intermingled amongst each other really works well for some reason.
vlg is right about the "overhead watering". "Don't water the leaves, hit the roots" is a good rule for dahlias and other plants susceptible to powdery mildew and other fungal nasties. I won't scare you yet with tales of rust and black spot, just yet. Anyway, less moisture means less fungus. Scratch scratch. Itch itch.
Starter patio drip system kits from the big box stores will set you back about $20. If IKEA "umfart" or "smushsqart" cabinet assemblages scare you, then you might want to avoid the drip-system thing. Lots of spaghetti tubing, timers and pressure reducers to consider for 1 or 2 pots.
You can make a "ghetto/eco fabulous" system with a used two liter bottle of Diet Coke. Simply put a 3mm hole in the cap and fill the bottle with water. After replacing the cap put the bottle upside down in the pot. You can put a second vent hole at the opposite end of the bottle and voila: ghetto/eco fabulous drip-system-DEEEEEluxe.