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Booth, bar or bar mitzvah—there’s more than one way to enjoy (or merely endure) karaoke, and what better place to explore this cherished international pastime than the entertainment capital of the world? Singing in public is daunting enough without having to worry about compromising your vocal cords and your blood alcohol level in pursuit of the ultimate karaoke experience, so we’re taking some of the guess work out of it for you in our series, Is This Thing On? So far, we’ve rocked the mic at The Cottage, the Smog Cutter and The Happy Ending Bar. This week’s pick: Jewel’s Catch One.
Let me get this straight, Jewel’s Catch One--comfy sofas surrounding the stage area? Bauhaus in the song book? Goths and Dodgers fans alike uniting over a mutual love of Robert Smith? A cupholder on the microphone? A cupholder on the freaking microphone?! You trying to get me to move in or something? It’s a good thing this only goes down once a week. Mark your calendars, creatures of the night--every Monday night the overlords of Ground Control take over the venerable Jewel’s Catch One for what must surely be the most offbeat karaoke night in town.
Ground Control is billed as “alternative karaoke,” and this moniker applies not only to the dark pop/80s dance/goth rock-centric song catalog, but to the setup itself. In an arena where drunkenness and disorder often prevail, Ground Control’s diplomacy and keen organization really stand out. Here’s the lowdown: you are allowed to submit only one song at a time. You may put in subsequent songs only after you sing the first. They will try to fit you in within ten songs, but they will NOT bump you up for tips, so don’t even ask. If you can’t find the song you want either in the book or on the Internet song list, they can search it online, download it and have it for you that very night. If the regular selection isn’t doing it for you, just ask to see their “x list,” which features a rotating list of experimental tracks from the likes of Ministry and Nick Cave. If you simply can’t bust out “Red Right Hand” until the backing organ track is sufficiently portentous, then you may provide your own karaoke disc. See? Now everyone’s happy. This marriage of efficiency and courtesy is part of what makes Ground Control so inviting. That, and the awesome sound quality. And the audiovisuals projected against the wall between sets. And the fact that the best received performance of the night was the door girl’s rendition of “Pwning Da Noobs.”
Don’t let the professionalism fool you, though. Ground Control’s somewhat twisted approach is evident in everything from the hosts’ performances (stay for the second set and you may catch dapper Master of Ceremonies Eric Von Schreek busting out the most uber-Germanic version of “We Got the Beat” you’ve ever heard) to their special events (Zombieoke!) to their cheeky take on karaoke staples. For instance, not only do they have the requisite Bon Jovi and George Michael jams, they have them in mash-up form. Wanna sing “Dead or Alive?” Why not do it to the bleating sax-heavy strains of “Careless Whisper?” It is my belief that, should the current rate of karaoke advancement continue exponentially in keeping with the proto-Kurtzweilian model, come 2010 I should be able to sing “Half a Person” to the tune of “Girls, Girls, Girls.”
In the meantime, I would have to content myself with making poor Kate Bush sound like a screech owl being beaten to death with a synthesizer. Ground Control regular Joseph very graciously accompanied me on “Running Up That Hill,” and, despite being the better singer, let me sing lead even though I called him “Jonathan” twice in a row. Man, if you think calling out the wrong name in the bedroom is embarrassing, try screaming it into a microphone in a roomful of curiously attentive strangers while your gaffe is being video recorded and streamed live over the Internet. Yes, take heed, wallflowers--your karaoke performance may be immortalized via uStream.TV. Hi, mom. Sorry about the air humping during “Peek-a-boo.”
Jewel’s Catch One is a restaurant by day and bar/club by night, and it retains its intimate café atmosphere even into the wee hours. If the guy with the boa constrictor in his backpack is any indication, the crowd runs a little left of center, which should come as no surprise to regular attendees of the venue. While you may spy a leather collar or two, this place is far from a meat market with microphones. They have about half dozen Monty Python songs and the entire Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack, fer Chrissakes! This is drama-geek heaven! Corseted beauties abound, though, so if you should happen to lock eyes with a bespectacled cutie during “The Lumberjack Song,” so be it. Invite her on the floor for the Time Warp and make sure to check ID before you buy her anything stronger than lemonade—Ground Control is an 18 and over event.
Ground Control Karaoke@ Jewel’s Catch One
4067 W. Pico
Los Angeles, 9001
Monday nights, 8pm-2am
18 and over, $4 cover
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