A Family Guy’s Perspective on Prop 8
A man and his message to the Mormon Church at Thursday's Prop 8 protest | Photo by Malingering
No, not Peter Griffin, although I have to give it up to him for spouting the phrase that has run through my head more and more in recent months, “If gays want to get married and be miserable like the rest of us, I say we should let them.” Actually, I was referring to me, this guy right here. This married, white, heterosexual father of one (so far) who, like 4.9 million other Californians, went to bed Tuesday feeling hopeful and woke up feeling sick. There have been a few protests since our residents decided to official label a large portion of the population as second class citizens, and the fight should continue, preferably at warp speed, Mr. Sulu. The main argument that the 5.4 million supporters of Prop 8 that I have read and heard first hand has been, “Well, why do they need to be married?”
That begs the other question of why do heterosexuals get married? Think back, those of you with rings on the left hand. Think back to the engagement, the ceremony, the first Thanksgiving, the first everything as husband and wife. Special moments, huh? Everyone should experience those times, right? Oh, wait, not everyone. Here’s the deal. Being married is not just a piece of paper that binds you and provides tax relief. It’s the ultimate tandem sky dive. You just hope the parachute eventually opens and everyone has a nice laugh. When you’re dating, or even in a very committed relationship, there is always an option to turn around and go back. When you’re married you have past that half way point that makes it more difficult to go back than it does to push on. Marriage forces us to grow up and face our problems with the guidance and support of another in order to make it work. When two people sign their individuals lives away in order to create one, and it is recognized by the state and society, it defines them for the rest of their lives. Is it really asking too much to give this opportunity to all citizens?
I know we have a very high divorce rate in this country, but I’ll bet you that would drop dramatically after years of same sex marriage included in that statistic. I’m not saying same sex couples wouldn’t get divorced, but maybe they should first have that option. I keep thinking of the future, being out in the garage working on the car in a cliché, PSA type moment, and my son approaches me to come out. It would kill me, but not the way it would have a generation ago. It would kill me because he would be living in a world that would not allow him to experience the joy that came to me with marrying his mother, struggling in LA as husband and wife, raising him, and growing old together as one, lovingly and legally. It hit me hard after viewing a piece a friend of mine put together recently. We grew up together here in Southern California, were friends and neighbors, were educated in the state’s universities, and have transitioned into adulthood. However, I’m married and he’s not allowed.