Weekend Movie Guide: Porno!

On a scale of 1 to 10, Elizabeth Banks rates a 14 on my personal bang-ability scale. | Photo courtesy of The Weinstein Company

I don't know about you but I am steamed--DAMN STEAMED--that Kevin Smith made a movie called Zack and Miri Make a Porno and exempted Elizabeth Banks from what I feel is a compulsory nude scene. Fail, Kevin Smith! Fail! The Haunting of Molly Hartley looks generic, stupid, unscary--you name it. Listless teens will probably eat it up while groping each other. Bruce Campbell is rightfully a screen icon for his years of B-movie excellence. Everyone in L.A.owes him a debt of gratitude so please go see My Name Is Bruce.

Splinter looks to be more of the same crap that they release every Halloween weekend. See above comments about Molly Hartley for further clarity. Talk about weird counter-programming--The Other End of the Line looks about as bland and fluffy as a movie could be. Jesse Matcalfe is still acting in movies?! Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father may turn out to be the best and least-seen movie of the weekend. Like virtually all documentaries, it's probably worth the price of admission. Hi Red!

Tickets, Showtimes, Reviews & Previews after the jump!