LAist: The Worst Idea In History

Mike Muller

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:21:53 -0800

Seriously, fuck remakes. Great post, funny shit.

Mike Muller

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:21:17 -0800

Seriously, fuck remakes. Great post.

Elise Thompson

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 16:52:23 -0800

Ok. Dick paper. I stand corrected. Perhaps about the weirdest thing ever.

Ross A. Lincoln

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 11:06:48 -0800

Agreed with BingosDingos. I know it's not a Sperm Whale. But since the authors of this abomination are disregarding all but the most superficial aspects of the novel, why shouldn't I get to play along? As for my, er, descriptions, the sheer vulgarity of this project demands that I bring the best vulgarity I can offer in kind. To do anything less would be a disservice to the world. Or so I tell myself when I go to sleep at night. One thing - It's not dick cheese. You're thinking of this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smegma What I'm talking about is getting pieces of paper stuck to it, on the outside. Totally different conecpt entirely.

BingosDingo

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 07:57:44 -0800

dick cheese? As to the bailout, not the subject of this article (sorry Lincoln), rescuing companies with flawed business plans seems...stupid. The taxpayer will be raped (sorry Ellise) twice. First, in losing their homes (this applies to renters too you know) and second having to pay for someone elses greed.

Elise Thompson

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 03:31:45 -0800

It is clear you feel very passionately about the subject. However, you are such a fantastic writer, I know you can find better allusions than rape, molestation, nazis and dick cheese. And yeah, it's a humpback whale. Probably a neo-nazi baby-raping humpback with enough dick cheese to feed a family of four for a week.

nickromaniak

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 17:35:10 -0800

Also, I think that the picture you put up is either a humpback or grey whale, not a sperm whale.

Ross A. Lincoln

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 11:54:27 -0800

Bullshit. This is high quality dreck my friend. If anything, it reads like a 19-year old English major writing a complaint to the Los Angeles times.

Los Angeles

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 11:11:46 -0800

This entry reads like a 19-year old English major writing a complaint to the Daily Trojan.

Ross A. Lincoln

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 08:36:03 -0800

JRB just summed the whole thing up perfectly.

jrb

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 08:19:59 -0800

Since this is the only thread talking about the $700,000,000,000 bailout here's my $0.02. To me this looks like the last feeding frenzy of the ultra wealthy. They know that McCain doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell. Come Jan 20th 2009 there's a new sheriff in town, so it's grab all you can while you can. Here's what I find infuriating. Socialized Medicine = BAD! Socialized Capitalisim = GOOD! Pretty screwed up priorities if you ask me.

nickromaniak

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 01:49:59 -0800

Dude, there are a lot of people that just can't see what's coming... a lot of us get used to be told what's ahead and it ends up being the only thing we can see... of course the bailout won't work... our economy is structured on an unsustainable model. The only way to keep it up is to grow... but we do realize that this can't continue forever right? At some point it must collapse, or break, or die and then some other thing has to come along and replace it. I agree whole-heartedly with your entire post. I read Moby Dick from cover to cover and it is in my top three of all-time. I was also a huge Transformers fan growing up, and while the story was somewhat weak when compared to Robotech, it was still pretty bad-ass and even a little dark (Optimus Prime was gunned down by this gang he admired and his girlfriend killed, they became his mortal enemies and he became the leader of the good/opposition guys)... but when these Hollywood pieces of sh**, these mother**cking idiots decided to make the movie, it's basically a Corey Haim/80's type teen movie... Chick with big t*** and 5 hours a day at the gym type body can steal and fix any car and falls in love with nerd and then some robots blow some shit up... AND here is part 2... guess what's gonna happen? I ranted about it so many times... I hate Micheal Bay and if he died, I'd throw a party because he makes garbage and detracts from what little culture we still have. Anyways, this new Moby Dick re-imagining, well, it makes me sad and angry and fills me with the urge to defecate all over Hollywood... A Titanic s*itstorm... As for ignoring warning signs and steering our entire country into the toilet, well, the Bush family wouldn't be willing to gain at the expense of others, now would they? So, somehow people can believe that they (Bush Administration) are willing to let thousands of American G.I.'s die in order to secure contracts for weapons manufacturing and oil companies that they and their associates own huge interests in... but they are unwilling to believe that the very same government wouldn't overlook some threats hoping for carte blanche to, ahem, fall out of the sky? I get really angry that so many people are even unwilling to talk about it, but you know what's really going on? We're already fucked... Does everyone really believe that we're just about to magically crawl out of this "recession"? There isn't going to be a recession... we're headed for our next Great Depression. Probably a bunch of guys will jump out of office buildings and they'll probably be the ones who are lucky not to be here when 15 or 20% of America ends up unemployed.

Ross A. Lincoln

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 22:28:49 -0800

danwah, don't say that too loud. You might be posting your next comment from a computer station in Cuba. Besides, I actually care about the fate of the whales. Feeding them that kind of shit diet will only hasten their demise. If they aren't poisoned to death, they'll kill themselves from shame.

danwuh

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:38:10 -0800

Havent laughed so much in ages - legendary posting. In an interesting crash of topic's, what are the odd's on feeding that pooflinger to a fucking Sperm Whale? I'd buy that for a dollar!

matchframe

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:14:50 -0800

Hey Ross, Ha, certainly can't argue with you about President Bush. The man won't be mentioned in the same breath as Lincoln or FDR, that's for sure. I too wish we would've taken Islamic extremism much more seriously, in retrospect. Maybe it could've been prevented. But to me, the people who "brought us 9/11" are the Al-Qaeda terrorists described in the links you sent me in your response. I mean, most people would probably concede that the person who most deserves to be tried for the crime is Mr. Bin Laden. As for the other stuff, I'll just repeat that I don't have an opinion on whether or not the bailout will work. Not an economist. Like everyone else, you've got concerns about the consolidation of power in the office of the Treasury Secretary, but that's something altogether separate from the notion that the bailout is doomed to failure. Bush's track record is abysmal, to be sure, but the bailout plan is Paulson's, not his. You think Bush could've thought of that? = ) cheers

Ross A. Lincoln

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:41:21 -0800

While I certainly understood the concept illustrated by the "fox and hen" analogy, there is simply no evidence to suggest that giving the government more money to bailout the financial industry will somehow cause them to want even more after that. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH cough cough HAHAHAHAHAHAH (wipes a tear) Okay, I get it. Match Frame is kidding. No need to debate him further people, he's kidding. He's satirizing... something. I don't know what, but no one could possibly write that statement and mean it seriously. My reaction was simply to the writer's unsubstantiated, histrionic, and not at all well-argued call to action against the government's proposed bailout plan. Yes but at least you'll admit a write a pretty picture of someone's dick, right?

matchframe

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:34:08 -0800

Bingos: Whose economic decisions of the last 8 years lead to the crisis we're in now? Greenspan's? Bush's? Chairpersons of investment banks? Mortgage brokers? Homebuyers? I honestly don't know, and so wouldn't presume to be able to identify a culprit. Is Paulson making the right decisions? I honestly don't know that either. Perhaps an agriculture major from CalTech would be just as effective in the job. My reaction was simply to the writer's unsubstantiated, histrionic, and not at all well-argued call to action against the government's proposed bailout plan. While I certainly understood the concept illustrated by the "fox and hen" analogy, there is simply no evidence to suggest that giving the government more money to bailout the financial industry will somehow cause them to want even more after that.

Ross A. Lincoln

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:31:59 -0800

Oh lord. Typos. Typos galore. Please to ignore them. Thanks.

Ross A. Lincoln

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:30:10 -0800

Matchframe, I was referring to this: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&rls=com.microsoft:en-US&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=bin+laden+determined+to+strike+in+US&spell=1 No, I don't think Bush planned 911. But I think he sure as hell had some pretty loud alarms going off but found it more prudent to sit back and fuck off in Crawford, clearing brush. Also, my issue specifically whether or not Paulson's bailout will work - it's that it shouldn't be Paulson's bailout at all. Or Bush's. These guys have demonstrated again and again their incompetance and lack of regard for the rule of law, and they're asking for disctatorial powers over the economy. Even FDR had to get congressional approval over and over again, and specific provisions of the NEw Deal kept recieving SCOTUS challenges. The bill submitted to congress last friday contains the following: "Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency." If you believe that congress ought to essentially cede all authority over trade and commerce to an unelected official working on behalf of an executive branch that has constantly attempted to increase its power at the expense of the rule of law, we're not going to agree on much. But couldn't we at least agree that the Bush track record is abysmal and that asking us to just trust them is kind of an insult to our intelligence?

Linkracer

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:18:56 -0800

On the flip side, we haven't seen a good giant whale flick since Free Willy. (Let's face it, FW2 and FW3 were both so bad they almost made me want to kill whales - but that first movie, with the MJ song, back when MJ wasn't so creepy, those were the good ol' days)

jaybushman

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:04:30 -0800

Amen, shipmate Lincoln! Nobody has made a good Moby-Dick movie ever. EVAR. Because, among other reason they make the same mistake. Namely, they make Ahab the main character. Carve this on your fetlocks with a rusty harpoon: "ISHMAEL is the main character of Moby-Dick. Not Ahab." And if they even include Ishmael in the adaptation, he's portrayed as some "Gee wilikers, gosh there, sir" golden-haired boy out for adventure. Whereas in the real story, Ishmael goes to sea because if he doesn't, he's gonna kill himself. This is not a happy guy. Basically, Ishmael is so much more goth than you will ever be. Then again, Ahab's allure is the temptation to submit your will to the rantings of a delusional tyrant. Not surprising that people think he's a hero. I'm with Tashtego, somebody pass the rum.

Blurgle

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:03:28 -0800

"Yeah, Hamlet is cool and all, but wouldn't it be even better if he wasn't so indecisive about the whole killing his uncle and risking his death thing? How about we rewrite it, so he's got a huge skull on a black t-shirt, a massive arsenal of weapons, and we can even add a rape-rock soundtrack by POD!" That would be closer to the real history of Hamlet than Shakespeare's masterpiece is.

BingosDingo

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:57:32 -0800

matchframe: If the economic decisions of the last eight years are a good indicator of financial competence via Dartmouth and Harvard then I'm much prefer someone trained at a Polytech somewhere. Is this Paulson's fault? I doubt it since he hasn't been on the job that long. But giving the foxes all the hens they can eat only increases the appetite for hens...if you get my meaning. Johnny: BANG-ON! Viki: Get the book at the library and read the first chapter. Once you get that far you may not be able to put the book down. It's very well written and an excellent example of early American writing. This article reminds me of a one frame cartoon I saw. Two whales are talking next to a destroyed sailing ship. One says to the other "I love crushing their ships, but I don't like swallowing the sea men."

Johnny

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:34:47 -0800

Hollywood hadn't had an good original idea in years.

Ross A. Lincoln

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:34:11 -0800

Yes Paul, because I obviously support date rape and think the concept is funny. Obviously. But you know what? That line did sound good in my head and sounds even better read aloud. And my mom says I'm the handsomest boy in school, so it must be true! Pardon me for not being clearer. However, "fucking moron?" I know I'm a broken record in the comments on this subject but here's the deal: This is not a snaps contest. There is no timer. You, the commentor, have literally unlimited time to ponder your comment before clicking "post". "Fucking moron" can't seriously be the single best one you could come up with, could it? I mean, surely there're meaner and wittier things you could say, right? Better ways to express your lack of approval for my profanity? You're not just some humorless concern troll, right? Of course not. Come on, I know you can do it. Anyway, let me spell it out. I THINK DATE RAPE IS WRONG. Oh, and in case it isn't clear I also think Child molestation is wrong too. Happy?

jrb

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:26:16 -0800

"OK, it's a whale and a ship full of guys and a crazy captain. What's the deal?" Tons of phalic symbols dahlin'. Not to mention a BIG, BIG, BIG whale named "Dick".

matchframe

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:19:13 -0800

How does the writer know that the bailout plan won't work? What proof does he offer? How would someone who has received no economic training whatsoever know better than Henry Paulson, who went to Dartmouth, then Harvard, then went on to run the most massive and successful investment firm in our country's history? You need not pay any more attention to what this writer has to say on the bailout plan than to what Sarah Palin has to say about world travel. P.S. The Bush administration did not "bring us 9/11". A woefully mismanaged war in Iraq? Absolutely. But his administration didn't bring us 9/11 any more than FDR brought us the attack on Pearl Harbor.

paul

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:15:47 -0800

I'm sure using date-rape as a analogy sounded great in your head, you fucking moron.

grendel20

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 15:57:41 -0800

Ye damn whale!!!

vicckyjane

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 15:50:54 -0800

Can someone explain to me why men, American men (including my dad) are totally obsessed with this book? OK, it's a whale and a ship full of guys and a crazy captain. What's the deal?