LAist: April Smear and the No Bone Zone

jrb

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 07:39:02 -0800

Don't blame yourself April. You were willing to give the guy another chance. If this guy's ego is so fragile that he's not going to give you another chance because of a comment, then maybe you're better off if he doesn't call you again. Here's some advice from an old fart who's been there, and from a male's perspective. COMMUNICATION! If you ask any man what super powers they wish they had with women, 99.999% will say they wish they could read minds. Secondly PATIENCE! Years ago, one woman I was with would get me so excited that I couldn't hold back. I'd explode immediately upon entry. Not much fun for her, and embarrasing for me. Next date it happened again, but a little patience, a bit more foreplay, and Mr. Happy came right back to life. The second time was better, and the third time was awesome! We ended up staying together for 13 years. True story.

April Smear

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 23:42:09 -0800

Alright, I get it. Don't be such a bitch.

futureperfect

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 17:24:59 -0800

this douche needs to be a man and get over it.....next!

hipsterorbum

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 14:42:42 -0800

As usual, I am entertained with a peek into the well-written private lives of others. I think that this, and most of April's other pieces, open up a dialog for some very confusing areas of dating and sex. I'm not sure that I would have been able to come up with a more sensitive comment at that very moment either but everyone makes mistakes, and if nothing else, perhaps this piece can help others to refrain from making comments that may hurt the too fast ejaculator's sensitive soul.

Zach Behrens

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 00:38:20 -0800

Reason: sex seturday.

Ginger

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:23:41 -0800

Someone get this girl a Blogger account, stat! I never understood why this crap was being posted on laist.com and not a personal blog. Can one of the editors give a logical justification for it?

jrb

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 16:27:42 -0800

"Give the guy another shot." Heh!

ichliebe

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 16:12:17 -0800

Go easy on April peeps. I had an identical experience with someone and guess who's ego was likely more bruised? That's right, not HIS. Someone who runs at the first sign of distress without meaningful communication is NOT worth the broken heart and ego over dashed hopes. But man did that rejection sting. What I really value in someone is the ability to admit mistakes and move forward. Especially if the (mistake) involves involuntary spewage- how is that the end of the world to a male? It would seem the real damage happens to the girl who gets dumped by the old cut/run routine... Anyway, good luck April. You'll find Mr. RightNow.

kristinester

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 15:56:36 -0800

@jrb If you follow the link to the previous article you'll see that the name Jack Spade was a code name she made up so that she wouldn't use this mans real name in the article. At least I hope so. :) What's done is done, hopefully she learned something from it. Maybe next time just play it off like it's not an issue and try again. Give the guy another shot. Who knows, maybe he hasn't had his dick touched in three years and it was like Mount Vesuvius waiting to erupt. Since it seems like she really liked this guy, she may want to salvage it. In that case, the best situation is to just be honest. "I'm sorry, I was shocked and didn't mean to say what I said. I like you and I'd really like to give this another shot" Of course he may be far too scared to try again. I've learned that bruising a mans ego is the best way to make him go limp. And who wants that?

jrb

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 15:37:38 -0800

geeze April, if you're using real names and posting all this on a public forum, I'd say you'll be lucky if you ever get laid again.

bluewitchbaby

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 14:57:38 -0800

You won't catch a break dating if you make snide comments about guy's junk. I wouldn't date someone who essentially told me I was inadequate and broken either. The wang is a strange thing and often malfunctions when the guy actually *likes* the gal he's boning and is thus more nervous. First time sex is usually awkward anyway because you don't know each other's bodies. If the chemistry is there, go for a second round. If it gets better, proceed. If it still sucks, abort mission. That's my rule up until now and it's landed me an amazing boyfriend. ~P ps. I agree with the comment above. This guy is likely scared shitless to get his dick near you now.

Will Campbell

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 14:45:39 -0800

If that was indeed your reaction to his prejaculation, since you apparently recognize what you said was markedly insensitive I can only hope you also realize you probably terrified the quick shooter away.