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UPDATE: Damn it, it's confirmed:
A press release issued by the actor's spokesperson Wednesday said: “Patrick Swayze has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and is currently undergoing treatment. Patrick’s physician Dr. George Fisher states
The Good news?
‘Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far. All of the reports stating the timeframe of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic.’
If the reliable folks at Transworld News (Home of the National Enquirer) can be believed, Patrick Swayze will soon be the tragic recipient of terrible jokes just like the one in this post's title:
Patrick Swayze, best known for his role in Dirty Dancing, has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and told that he has just five weeks to live.Swayze, 55, has been sick with the disease since he was diagnosed in late January with pancreatic cancer. The cancer has since spread to other organs and now the actor/dancer is dying.
For those of you who don't know, pancreatic cancer is to other forms of cancer what AIDS is to "feeling under the weather." It's a terribly painful, fast acting plague with extremely dismal recovery prospects. Expect to suffer enormously and die fast.
This rumor is fresh out of the oven and so far, it hasn't been confirmed by Swayze's camp. Those of us who still watch Roadhouse, Steel Dawn, and Red Dawn regularly and keep hoping for another Donnie Darko level appearance, will be holding out hope that the avalanche of Dirty Dancing and Ghost puns can be put off for at least a few more years.
In a bizarre (and tragic) convergence, fellow Roadhouse alum, musician Jeff Healy died this week of, you guessed it, Cancer. Here's a fervent prayer that Sam "Uncomfortably Evident Pubes" Elliot isn't next on the reaper's clipboard.
Meanwhile, in Honor of Pat, sound off in comments with your favorite quotes from his long, extremely uneven film career. Mine?
Evil Roadhouse henchman: "I used To Fuck guys Like You in Prison"
Patrick: Go fuck yourseIf. (Rips ERH's throat out with bare hands.)
Photo courtesy of AP
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This is sad news indeed. Looks like he'll be moving on to the ol'Road House in the sky. I'm gonna rip out some throats tonight in his honor.
Here's hoping he's nice, until it's time to not be nice.
(For the record, AIDS has been a relatively treatable condition, with patients managing the condition just fine with drugs, for fifteen years or so. Update your disease metaphors, please!)
this was just confirmed as being true. thanks for adding to the flood of bad puns/jokes, though.
Actually, AIDS still sucks hell of large. Once you have full blown AIDS, you're basically fucked. You might live a few more years with aggressive treatment, but you'll have the 'reah, stomach problems, weight loss, and numerous other horrible, horrible symptoms, not to mention the fact that the cocktail comes with side effects unrelated to your infection.
The fact is, AIDS still sucks.
What is treatable is HIV infection - treatments can delay or even stop the onset of full blown AIDS. But once you have full blown AIDS, yeeouch.
Future perfect, I haven't been able to find that confirmation but thanks for the update. I'm a look for it right away and update accordingly.