Breakfast of champions pictured above, delivered directly to your apartment/dorm/oral cavity

The first thing you blurt out when you walk into Jose Bernstein's is "it's a fuckin' hole in the wall" because it is a fuckin' hole in the wall". But that's never been a problem for UCLA students because what we lack most are money and holes. But Bernstein's is clean, hygienic and delicious so we do it anyway.

There is a caveat to explain why Bernstein's is a common student destination: they deliver breakfast, it's cheap, and it's sobering. On this particular midnight I was studying for midterms, and as every Bruin knows there is no better time for breakfast. Pictured above is a vegetarian breakfast burrito including eggs, potatoes, mushrooms and guacamole served with chips and holy-fire-in-my-mouth sauce. All of this can be yours for the low, low price of $3.69+tax. Of course there is an $8 minimum so unfortunately you have to wake up your roommate and talk him into a pastrami sandwich and Arrested Development reruns.

The service is fast, getting to your doorstep in 30-40 minutes if you're in Westwood. They're open 7am to 1am weekdays, and close at 2am on the weekends. Sandwiches and burritos are of a large variety and are around $4 or less. Burger combos run around $4, and they serve every little snack food you crave: taquitos, quesadillas, wings, tortas, etc. Oh, and they will pour chili on anything you request which is awesome. They even have a Korean BBQ burrito with galbi in it -- my roommate gets it all the time because he's a sick bastard.

It's perceivably greasy food but thankfully they keep oil use on the lighter side. The place is called Jose's but when you call, don't assume the guy behind the phone's name is Jose because it's not and he will get hella pissed because that shit is outright pejorative. I've asked around Westwood and the consensus is that no one really knows who Jose Bernstein really is -- the dude is a Jewish-Mexican phantom or something.

The outside isn't completely noticeable and the inside is kinda cramped but if you're coming from outside Westwood it's a good cheap-eat. There aren't any TV's to keep you entertained while you dine but they always have copies of the Onion, which is almost as good as reading LAist. I recommend getting delivery when you're studying, wasted, or hanging out with a sorority sister (they love any food that comes with beer, or is beer-shaped).

Joe Bernstein's "Best Burrito in Westwood"
935 Broxton Avenue, Westwood
310) 208-4992

Photo by Henry David