Apparently a Scientologist can be defined by a single question:
"Would you want others to achieve the knowledge you now have?"

The music, the insane laughter over abbreviations I had to look up (and are provided for you below), the conviction of "knowledge" that most of us do not have. Cue lights. Why it's Tom Cruise in a video made especially for the Scientology community! And even better, it was leaked out to the general public and now we can share it with you!

To be honest, "they" say it was leaked, but I've watched Scientology videos before without permission, though not without fear. A friend found one in the junk mail bin of his apartment building. I was convinced the whole time we watched it that the Scientology Mafia had a tracking number on the DVD and was going to break into his apartment and kidnap us both. Deep set paranoia set in and I actually couldn't watch the whole thing. As for my friend? He asked not to be named in this post because he's an actor and holds up a brave face because he has friends in the industry who are Scientologists and think's he'll be blackballed from certain productions if he speaks out.

I've heard this video is going to be pulled from You Tube soon, so get it while you can. Your daily dose of crazy, hot off the presses.

Definitions:
KSW-Keep Scientology Working
SP-Suppressive Person, ie someone who doesn't want their friend or family member to join the cult.

UPDATE: The video has been taken down. LAist reader Mike Sycz found it here so you can still see it in all its glory!