After a busy holiday season, there's a pronounced lull in the film distribution business this weekend. The lazy plan is just to go wide with a few films that have already been playing in Los Angeles for a few weeks (The Bucket List, The Kite Runner, The Orphanage). As such, we Angelenos are left with only a few scraps (and bad scraps at that) to consider. Take heart, though--the mysterious and intriguing Cloverfield is only a week away.

First up is Uwe Boll's latest, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. In some quarters, Boll is the most reviled director on the planet. While I'm not much of a fan of his work, I do admire his sheer gumption and thorough knowledge of German tax laws. Still, how can I resist seeing Burt Reynolds dressed up as a knight? If Boll could promise a nude Claire Forlani/Kristanna Loken tryst, I'd almost certainly buy a ticket.

Has an entertainer ever experienced a more pronounced shift in audience demographics than Ice Cube? It would be as if Miley Cyrus suddenly became a porn star in a few years. Wait a minute, that may still happen. Back to Ice Cube--the former gangster rapper is now a fixture in ill-conceived family films and First Sunday is his newest. The presence of a reborn Tracy Morgan inspires some hope which Katt Williams quickly dashes.

If you didn't already know (and I didn't for years) the VeggieTales movies are Christian parables told through vegetables. There's a joke in there somewhere. I've never seen more than a few minutes of one so I can't really speak to the latest, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie. All I know is that I've read the Bible before in its entirety, and I don't remember anything about pirates.

Tickets & Showtimes

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
First Sunday
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

Reviews

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
First Sunday
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

Previews

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

First Sunday

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

Photos courtesy of Freestyle Releasing and Universal Pictures