For baseball fans under the age of 35, reading the Mitchell report should be like taking repeated shots to the groin without the Nutty Buddy.

With 75 names and guys who get shipped all over the country, you know your idols didn't escape.

Me? I grew up in NorCal.

Matt Williams? He was our hero on the hot-corner.

Glenallen Hill? The only pro player from the small town I was growing up in. That's a Santa Cruz boy. He shouldn't be on anything more potent than some dank sticky icky.

Barry Bonds? OK ... saw that one coming.

Here in Southern California, it's impossible to swallow that if Olympic standards were applied to baseball, the Angels would still be in search of their first pennant. It's depressing to think that Gagne's streak of 84 consecutive saves is a joke. Paul Lo Duca. Troy Glaus. Bastards.

The toughest part of this will be a lack of closure. Look, baseball will survive just fine. Remember that strike? Vaguely? Now MLB is setting attendance records and is on pace to pass the NFL in revenue. But those record books ... oh my.

While the Mitchell Report offers some common sense "moving forward" suggestions, there's no good way to put this ugly past behind us. Former White House drug spokesman Bob Weiner has some strong suggestions, but ultimately it's impossible to be truly comprehensive. That wouldn't matter in a trusting environment, but that's not what we have in modern baseball.

Now that we have more in writing -- though we've suspected for oh-so-long -- just consider how far back this might really go. A few decades back they innocuously referred to amphetamines as "greenies." What did they have when Babe Ruth or Joe DiMaggio were playing? I'm not accusing these heroes of anything ... but how do we know? For now, all we can say is that the recent era is tainted.

Beyond the simple face value of the Mitchell Report, what does all this mean to our children? How do you explain to your little boy that their idol is a cheater? Thank god I don't have kids yet. I wouldn't know how to do it. Deep down inside, I am still a kid -- and I'm not quite sure how to explain it to myself.
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Dodger owner Frank McCourt has announced that he wasn't important enough to get an early review copy:

"As the steward of the Los Angeles Dodgers, I am steadfast in the belief that performance-enhancing drugs have no place in baseball. The Dodgers have supported and fully cooperated with this investigation, initiated by the commissioner and conducted by Senator Mitchell. We wholeheartedly support Commissioner Selig’s efforts to rid the game of these substances and we commend Senator Mitchell on a thorough investigation. Our commitment to our fans during our stewardship has been and always will be to do everything in our power to maintain the game’s integrity.

"With that said, I have not had the chance to read the report in its entirety and once I am able to do so, I’ll be willing to share any further thoughts."
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Parting thought: Is it just me, or do a LOT of these guys in the report strike you as shopping in the husky aisle whenever you see them play? Bonds, Gagne, Knoblauch, Conseco, Matt Williams, Giambi(s), Mo Vaughn ... not lean dudes. The list doesn't have as many speedy middle infielders. Petit is a pencil neck, but maybe it's an optical illusion.

AP photos (in order) by Jack Dempsey, Charlie Riedel, and Gene J. Puskar.